Marriage over don't know where to start

kizzykizzywizzy

Doesn't sound too good Gert
Just bumped into a neighbour she said every time I see you, you get skinnier, I said that's because I've got a cheating b stard of a husband!! Damn it's out of the bag now - wish i hadn't said anything, just couldn't stop myself!
Still feeling crap

kizzykizzywizzy

Jules, sorry to hear you're having a bad day too!
Do not feel sorry for him, or guilty, they all do that, they've done this to themselves.
DFS said about not having any money & nowhere to live, I just said, well you made your bed!

gerturdeanna

Yes, it is out in the open Kizzy but thats what we are going to have to cope with.
I think I'm coming to a decision with regards to OH. And the month isn't even up yet!! haha - It is true that he has done terrible things and I am and can be independant, why do I need him? he's not contributing financial apart from the mortgage, he isn't really a great dad, although he is getting better, and for damn sure, he ain't a good husband..so why am I wasting m time and energy on trying to fix this. If he doesn't want it fixing, nothing I can or will do will change that. Maybe it is time to move on. I won't be here when he is tomorrow, nor on Thurs or on Saturday. If he wants me, he can fight for me, and if he doesn't, I'm not fighting anymore. I need to focus on my children and me!!

kizzykizzywizzy

OOoo brave Gerti, I'm not feeling so brave as you.
But it's true when you put it the way you have with all the facts, really he needs you more than you need him, but if he isn't going to give anything in return - stuff him.
I won't even list the reasons why I shouldn't get back with DFS!
Still doesn't make me feel good.
Just rang my Sister, she'll be in all day as still not well, so am going over to see her.

gerturdeanna

Give you sis a big hug from us Kizzy,

I'm not really feeling brave, just had a sort of wakeup call, no idea how long it'll last for!! hehe

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks Gerti - wish my Friday wake up call had lasted!!
Anyway washing on the line & off i go!
She's got 2 workman around there putting in a fireplace she's only sen one so far said he's ok the other one's on his way, they won't know what's hit them!! hahahahaha

kizzykizzywizzy

meant to say - hope docs goes ok SFH

gerturdeanna

Hmmmm, workmen!! haha

trancebabe

Morning Ladies - just checking in from work (sshhhhh) because I've not been able to get on here for a couple of days!

Gerti - you don't need him, but what you need and what you want are 2 very different things, so make sure that the basis for any decision you make are based on the right things (although tbh... it sounds like he's playing you a bit and as I said last time - I think your should toughen up and make the decision for him)

Kizz - what a weekend you've had!!! It was bound to be 'out of the bag' sooner or later hun - hopefully your neighbours will rally round for you... Please look after yourself - you do such a great job of looking after everyone else but please don't neglect yourself!

you did answer my last post and I'm sorry if I made it sound like a competition. My ex was an agressive angry man and he liked very much to be alpha male and chuck his weight about... but I wasn't trying to water down your situation any!

I guess the point I was making was that no matter who you tell, and how you tell them what you're going through, they probably can't change what is!

The situation is what it is and the man you married is no longer the same. You wil find in time that you are // will no longer be the same woman he married either (and you might not like yourself... or you might like yourself a whole load more!)

Jules - 7:15 for swimming ?? !!!!!! ?? Had your little boy even had his breakfast at that time ?? no wonder he cried!!!

Set the boundaries hun!! Create the rules for him and never let yourself feel [EMAIL="!!!!"]!!!![/EMAIL] over something that was taken out of your control. Look after you sweetie, you're going to need all your strength for the 2 little men in your life! (so no wasting any precious energy on that large loser ok?!)

SFH - hope you and your DS make a quick recovery!!! Kids tend to bounce back quite quickly, but you look after you too... You don't want the lurgy in OZ after all!!!

(((HUGS ))) for all

>:-0 at 'the other thread'!!

dellybelly_2

hi all,

checking in dead quick to see how you all are. Tried to earlier but ds doesn't like me to spend too much time online atm

Gert - that tarot reading is really weird, the thing is, don't take too much from it unless it gives you the strength to do the things you need to do.

Kizz - I know what you mean about losing weight. I lost 5lbs the first week of our breakup and 7lbs this week. Fortunately ! for me I have the weight to lose right now but if it continues, I'm really going to have to see about it. As for telling people, you have nothing to be ashamed of. I have to admit, I blew the whole situation wide open myself. I know he acknowledged his guilt but I still needed everyone to see what a !!!!!! he was being and it makes it easier for people who already know to meet me for the first time since it all happened.

Off now to get more fruit for DS and try to organise this house somehow.