Marriage over don't know where to start

Skint_Lynne

Hi,

Hope you have had breakfast, I am just going to have mine, can't decide on toast or a roll on butter. Try your best to have something, even if it is an oatcake or cracker with cheese on it or something. Even a tin of soup would be better than nothing.

You need to keep your strength up.

SL x

Rikki

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Hi well, woke up at 5.20am! Have washed tango off, now looks quite pale really, but still browner than I was.
Yes he knows I come on this site, but he hasn't got access at the moment to a computer. Email at work that's all.
I would hope if he ever did read this thread, he would realise that I am doing everything I can think of to save our marriage & that I really love him & the children.
I tried to get him to read something I found on the internet about depression, also a Navy website, saying about coming home after an absence is a difficult adjustment & not to make any rash decisions/changes, but he wouldn't read them.
Well today the mood has changed to hopelessness, if someone doesn't love you, you can't make them.
A couple we used to work with were together for years, she decided she didn't love him anymore & they are now apart.
I was trying to think what I ate yesterday, half a packet of cheese puffs that DS had left & a few extra strong mints! 300 cups of tea & coffee, I'm just not hungry.

You need to try and eat. Its easy to say I know but when your going through a major time in your life its the last thing you worry about.

I used to force myself to eat. As I had to cook for the children I made sure I sat and ate with them. Just small amounts admitedly but it was still food. Cup a soups are another way to eat, use them to replace one of the cups of coffee/tea.

Your doing well. A problem shared is a problem halved.

kpwll

Hi kizzy,
You do need to eat a bit because (aside from the stressful side) you have a very hectic time coming up with the holiday and travelling on an empty stomach is not recommended, (I know, nag, nag, nag).
How are the kids coping with everything, bet they're excited about the holiday. When mine were young, for at least a week before, each night was like xmas eve cos they couldn't wait for it to come, then it's the all too familiar (altogether now) 'Are we there yet'. lol.
Thinking of you.
Karen x

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks, I've just eaten a yoghurt,
Right I'm going to be told off, but he's text me several times today, I can't just ignore him, it's childish, they are only about practical things anyway, as in did I get paid today? ( wages got a bit messed up when 1st back ) anything you want me to get? ( this one's getting a bit repetative! )
I said yes, you've been paid, can you sort the camera out when you come around, loads of photos need downloading, as memory card a bit full, he replied yes, are we taking the camcorder?, ( he moans every holiday that he has to lug it about, quite an old biggish thing ) I replied if you don't mind lugging it around, to which he replied, I don't mind it's such a lovely place!
( I quite liked that one! sounded slightly hopeful )
The thing is all this sounds good, but when I spoke to SIL, she had told him to keep communication going, so I'm wondering if this is why he's texting me
Anyway just got the kids lunch after lunch I'm going to drag myself & them out of the house, no idea what to do or where to go, they are probably getting a bit fed up of parks:p
Yes they are really really excited about the holiday

kpwll

Communication is a good thing, it could be that this is the only way he feels comfortable 'speaking' to you at the moment. I don't think anyone will fault you for answering him, just advise you not to be the one to make the first contact unless absolutely neccessary. x

kizzykizzywizzy

He started the contact today.
Anyway, off out for a bit, got a friend coming tomorrow, although the house doesn't look bad, I will really have to sort myself out & make it look better.
I've been thinking about things practically today - He says he no longer has any feelings for me, why am I trying to kid myself that if we go away anything will be any different.
Not nice to think this way, I'd love to ask him outright, so this is it then is it? but as he's already said it is, what would be the point.
See you later, when I expect my mind will be thinking something completely different!
Told you I'm going crazy:p

Buffythedebtslayer

you aren't going crazy, you are in a horrible situation.

oh Kizzy I wish I could fast forward this bit.

I will be back soon
xx

Buffythedebtslayer

sorry kizzy,
back now, I guess you are out with the kids Good!

the only advice I can offer is to keep busy, make sure you have a plan *if* the worst comes to the worst and remember you are an amazing person. you have been brilliant so far.

And maybe some where in your head have a deadline perhaps x amount of days for all this waiting, I know it must be hard for him - am trying to be charitiable here! but i tihnk it is too hard for you to be just hanging on.

I think you are so strong for going through with the holiday. i know I couldn't do that. mind you I would turned into a screaming wailing banshee by now!

Oh and buy a packet of Rich tea biscuits, they are fab for when you don't feel like eating anything - have a half with one of your cups of tea.

lots of love and support for you kizz
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

kizzykizzywizzy

No Buffy I'm in, we went out for about an hour, then it started raining!! So I've been doing a quick tidy up, whilst they are glued to the TV.
Guess what ? We've got a mouse arrrrrrrgghhhh!!! DD was screaming, it ran behind the sofa in the front room, well I pull the sofas out when I do my "proper" hoover, & I haven't seen any poo, so must be a new little friend:o
50 minutes before he's here, I can't wait to see him, BUT, find it very uncomfortable, mostly because he doesn't act normal, I mean, who asks if they can have a drink in their own house??

andan

Kizzy, ive been a way for a few days so have lost track with your situtation. Just wondering how you are doing and coping with things. Can only begin to imagine how tough it must be for you.x