Marriage over don't know where to start

OberonSH

That's it - let the b*gger sweat....

Glad you're feeling so positive. You breeze about today looking bronzed and feeling gorgeous. Don't even bother your head about what's going on in the mouse-powered noggin he has. You can't change his thinking at the moment, so might as well concentrate on you for a bit.

ANY_CHANCE

Kizzy,
Ive been following your thread and
I just wanted to say
Thanks for starting this thread as it is giving me lots of help too as OH and i are having difficulties, so you are helping other people at the same time as helping yourself
(not self indulgent)

i think you are dealing really well with it all

xx

Rage_in_Eden

Right, finally got chance to get back on here - please excuse my typing if it goes bonkers but I am inhaling some lovely solvent smells from the roof above me where they are replacing the flat roof (and a big thanks to my supervisors for pointing out that health and safety issue :rolleyes: ). So, I may go a bit "odd" as I feel like I'ev been drinking.

Well, I agree with Buffy and would be ready to give him a clip 'round the ear so I think you have shown remarkable restraint. For somebody who is rebelling about "being a slave" he is showing remarkable inability to think for himself now he is getting the chance. Still, this is a huge sign of depression (which is undoutedly is) and if he wants to pack nothing for his holidays then it will be him wearing the hotel menus fashioned into a nice sarong all week.

Hobbies - now much as I like the Crime Channel I don't think it would be a good idea especially as you may have some kitchen knives..... however, have you tried cross stitch? It's very fashionable although some of us have been doing it for years (a style icon I am!). Completely switches you off and calms you down (ask my GP - she thinks I'm taking my BP tablets but they made me so ill I stopped and I';ve got perfrect blood pressure now which is minor miracle given here). I would get one of the free kit mags and give it a go - at the very least it's a needle to use as a weapon :rotfl:

Right, I'm now off to read Oberon's thread - and as for Buffy's hamster (which sounds like something Kenneth Williams would have said) I'm glad it's not just me with bonkers pets...

Now, you chill out and do something for yourself. You are NOT a failure and you are NOT going to spend the rest of your life as a single parent. I would have thought that any self respecting bloke would have snapped up somebody who has coped financially like you - at least you won't be dragging them around the shops all the time. Right I'm off. x

kizzykizzywizzy

ANY_CHANCE wrote: »

Kizzy,
Ive been following your thread and
I just wanted to say
Thanks for starting this thread as it is giving me lots of help too as OH and i are having difficulties, so you are helping other people at the same time as helping yourself
(not self indulgent)

i think you are dealing really well with it all

xx

Thanks ANY CHANCE
Hope you can sort things out with your OH:grouphug: also this is very MSE - free counselling:D

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks Rage hope you are feeling batter & that after the smell of solvant you don't have to go home to the smell of vomit:p
Forgot to say Rage, I am useless at needlework, any button I sew on is the first to come back off! I can't wrap presents, they always look crap ( say the kids wrapped them ) so card making is out of the question. I love DIY, the house is really done though, I did go salsa dancing with a friend for a while, but the group dwindled to nothing, I quite enjoyed it, but felt embarrassed in front of my friend, wouldn't mind going on my own, at least no-one would know me
Went around SIL, she thinks he's depressed too, she really doesn't think anything naughty going on. As I said before, she hasn't been able to speak to him, but he's the same there, not having anything to eat, she said knowing him he probably popped into Mcdonalds on his way back & just wants us to feel sorry for him!
Kids played with their cousin, who was under strict rules not to mention that DH was there & has also been really upset as she was scared she wouldn't see her cousins again, she's 10 so can keep a secret, horrible I know, but until we know for sure not going to upset them.
He text me twice today
1 Do you want me to get some aftersun?
To which i replied yes & don't forget to get the train tickets
2 Anything you want for you?
No thanks
So not a lot to report & I won't be around later, so we shall see........
I have been lucky to have been given the male perspective on all this & DH may need to feel needed, so I will be nice & thank him for looking after the children, whilst I'm having a tan & shopping:D I couldn't have done that without you here, which is true!
He does seem to want to do a lot for me whether thats guilt, or because he needs me to say thanks I really needed help with that, I don't know, trouble is I'm a b*gger for accepting help

Bargainfinder_3

Hi Kizzy, have been reading all along, and felt I couldn't not stop and say something this time. I really feel for you, and think that you have been amazing. I can't offer any advice - but I think you have been making good decisions, and you obviously love your kids to bits, which I think is great.
Take care xxx

Tesco_points_addict

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Right I've decided, tomorrow whilst he's taking the kids to the park, I'm going to get a spray tan, I've lost weight, I wasn't fat anyway, but now I feel really good in that dept & I think that will make me look/feel even better.
Also might pi$$ him off that I'm not waiting around for them.
The following day, might get my nails done & so on, shame I can't fit in more before hols:rotfl: a boob job would be good, bit saggy & smaller since breast feeding - his boobs on the other hand are rather large:D

So sorry had to pop in on that quote, have been reading this diary for the last couple of days. You go girl

Above is the funniest thing i have ever read!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Butterfly

...I can't believe he said you were useless, pathetic etc....I have only just started reading your emails today and don't know you but I can tell that you are very intelligent and probably more emotionally together than him. To me, his words reflect how he is feeling about himself. It's really not nice the things we say to those closest to us when we are feeling deep pain ourselves. I'm so sorry to hear that he has given up on your relationship, it is a cruel blow to you. You sound like an amazing woman and I am sending you lots of love and courage to help you through this awful time. Butterfly xxx

rog2

Hi kizzy - I didn't post on this thread before as I had already commented on the daily spend thread.
I would, however, just like to say that I admire the way that you are coping, and 'fighting back'.
You, and your husband, had been doing everything possible to deal with your debts - it's a real shame that that has contributed to your current situation.
Just lots of 'empathy' really, but I'm glad to see that you are already on the up.

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks Guys!!!
Yes, don't forget to live whilst paying off your debts - a lesson well learnt by me:o

Anyway I've been tango'd:rotfl: oh my god that was fun, I had to wear a paper thong & be sprayed, whilst in there it doesn't look too bad, under their lights, but you have to wash the top orange layer off after 8 hours & the real tan develops underneath.
Well she had the nerve to say are you going straight home? I came out of the salon onto the main road, where there are bars with people sitting outside having a nice glass of wine & looked at my legs & they were bright orange!!! I had to run the gauntlet, hoping no-one would make any comments:p
DH took kids to the park & fed the animals, I think they had a nice time, he was very pleasant to me, we discussed train times for the holiday.
Made me a cup of coffee & then he went, he winked at me as he left;)
Then at the gate he said "shall I come around tomorrow", I said "if you want to", he said "I don't want to impose on you", I said "that's ok, but obviously IF this becomes permanant you won't be coming every day" & he just said "No"
Jesus, just looked at my bum ( sorry if this is too much information:p if I bend over, theres a big white bit where my bum must sag!:D )