Marriage over don't know where to start

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks again my special friends, for getting me through another day:T :T
Going to try & get some sleep, which really means watch TV in bed until I can't stay awake any longer!!
If it's impossible to sleep, might be back:o

Buffythedebtslayer

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Right I've decided, tomorrow whilst he's taking the kids to the park, I'm going to get a spray tan, I've lost weight, I wasn't fat anyway, but now I feel really good in that dept & I think that will make me look/feel even better.
Also might pi$$ him off that I'm not waiting around for them.
The following day, might get my nails done & so on, shame I can't fit in more before hols:rotfl: a boob job would be good, bit saggy & smaller since breast feeding - his boobs on the other hand are rather large:D

that is a briliant idea. you go girl!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

star-X_2

Kizzy, i soo feel for you, sorry ive been a lurker but i know exactly what youre ging through, it was 4 years ago, i kicked him out christmas day as i couldnt cope with it any longer, i waited until the kids were in bed and that was it. I wont lie, it was an absoloute nightmare, i kept my phone turned off, changed my landline number, all this just hoping and praying he would come back but i would not be seen to be begging or wnating. I was a mess, a complete mess, it was not easy atall, i spent a lot of time in with the curtains closed not bearing to go out in case people saw me. It took literally 2 weeks, until the letters started arriving, the i love you ones, im so sorry, of which i ignored, how, dont ask. Anyway, after 4 weeks i replied, giving him the new phone number, things, now 4 years later are briliant, i still every now and then feel horribly hurt, but they are geeting less. I know you are going on holiday soon, but what if you turned your phone off tomorrow, its soo hard i know but soo worth it. Also, i know you dont feel like going out, but would you please just literally just walk out your front door just once a day, it will make you feel so much better, a silly thing to mention but please just trust me, it stops the cycle of hiding. I was taught the opposite action technique by a psychologist, if you want th ecurtains shut, open them, if only for 5 mins, if you want to stay in, just walk out your front door, it soo much helps. Wishing you all the best. You need to make a decision of whether you reall ywant to be with him, such a hard one i know, maybe it will work again, maybe it wont, you only know if your hurt can deal with it. Things can work out again, although they take hard work, after what youve been through its only your decision now on whether you decide you want to go through it all. My thoughts and love are with you xxx

Skint_Lynne

You've gotten through another day now. Think of things like this, every day that goes by is a day nearer to things being back to normal. The mood swings on your part (feeling good then feeling crap) is completely normal, I felt like that too.

You get yourself off to the spray tan thing tomorrow and get yourself bronzed, then get on that holiday and enjoy yourself, keep reminding yourself that none of this is your doing.

Away to bed now,
Nite x
SL

kizzykizzywizzy

star-X wrote: »

Kizzy, i soo feel for you, sorry ive been a lurker but i know exactly what youre ging through, it was 4 years ago, i kicked him out christmas day as i couldnt cope with it any longer, i waited until the kids were in bed and that was it. I wont lie, it was an absoloute nightmare, i kept my phone turned off, changed my landline number, all this just hoping and praying he would come back but i would not be seen to be begging or wnating. I was a mess, a complete mess, it was not easy atall, i spent a lot of time in with the curtains closed not bearing to go out in case people saw me. It took literally 2 weeks, until the letters started arriving, the i love you ones, im so sorry, of which i ignored, how, dont ask. Anyway, after 4 weeks i replied, giving him the new phone number, things, now 4 years later are briliant, i still every now and then feel horribly hurt, but they are geeting less. I know you are going on holiday soon, but what if you turned your phone off tomorrow, its soo hard i know but soo worth it. Also, i know you dont feel like going out, but would you please just literally just walk out your front door just once a day, it will make you feel so much better, a silly thing to mention but please just trust me, it stops the cycle of hiding. I was taught the opposite action technique by a psychologist, if you want th ecurtains shut, open them, if only for 5 mins, if you want to stay in, just walk out your front door, it soo much helps. Wishing you all the best. You need to make a decision of whether you reall ywant to be with him, such a hard one i know, maybe it will work again, maybe it wont, you only know if your hurt can deal with it. Things can work out again, although they take hard work, after what youve been through its only your decision now on whether you decide you want to go through it all. My thoughts and love are with you xxx

Thanks for this, gives me a bit of hope, will probably go around to SIL today, they can play with thier cousin. I'll also get to chat with her. He said when he got in he was going to go straight to bed, hope she did manage to talk to him, but she can't force him to talk!
Anyway got to sleep eventually after 1am, just going to get the kids breakfast & have a shower & then try & book in for my tan:D , if I can't get in I'll get the nails done today instead, I won't be sat here waiting, that's for sure.
Will update if there's any progress, this is really helping me doing this, so sorry to go on & on & hope it's not too self indulgent to have this thread going, hopefully one day it will have a fairytale ending;)

Keeping_Motivated

Not self indulgent at all as all the messages convey people genuinely care.

Good for you I'm glad you are going to pamper yourself.

And I also hope you get your happy ending. I know this doesn't help but I do not know one long relationship that has never had any real lows of some kind and most make it through. I know my marriage has and we are still together so there is every chance you will work this out too just keep being strong.

KM x

SingleSue

It's not at all self indulgent....

Believe it or not it actually helps others who may be facing the same situation, I know it has certainly helped me by being able to post 'my story' in the public domain for the first time....very cathartic.

Hope you enjoy your pampering today, you deserve it.

OberonSH

Yay! Go Kizz - get those nails done, go get your fake bake. Enjoy being you, not Kiz the Mum, or Kiz the Wife, or Kiz the Anything, just you.

And we must be told what colour you had your nails painted.

supersavershal

Good luck with the spray tan! Get your nails done too it will give you a confidence boost.
Re the phone call, I thought it was your hubbie too, perhaps he wanted to talk to you whilst children still in bed but copped out.
I agree about changing your number (at least your mobile) whilst he has your number and is welcome to call whenever he likes he still has free access to you and your life.I would cut him off (although he should still see the children, you could do this through SIL) so he has no access to you, he will always be wondering what you are doing, where you are and how gorgeous you are looking (with your new spraytan), create a life for yourself apart from him.He will probably come running , if he doesnt then you will have a new life without him in it.You are stronger than you think.

kizzykizzywizzy

What a nightmare, find somewhere eventually that can fit me in for a tan!!
Won't have time to get nails done too, but I will go out when he gets here, so I can have a quick skoot around the shops before being bronzed!!
Going around SIL now
See you all later;)
P.S. He text me about an hour ago about do I want him to get some aftersun? I will reply now, just thought I'd leave it a bit:p