Marriage over don't know where to start

Rikki

moodydonkey wrote: »

SFH been there read the book and worn the t shirt. Believe me you are doing great.
Have been in the stage where pinot grigio is my best friend. If you want a new friend to chat to my darling pm me, and that goes for anyone.

Will post my credentials.

Rubbish marriage
Pregnant mistress (his not mine)
No friends
No job
Welcome to the land of benefits
Can drink more than my bodyweight in wine
Got out the other side!!!!
Carp have my first job interview in 3 years tomorrow lol well hey ho xxxx

Can't quite tick all the boxes but enough to understand.

I'll add a new one to show you things can get worse. He marries her and she becomes the children's step Mum.

chilli_dog

I am the last person in the world who should give advice, ask Mrs chilli_dog, my advice should generally be ignored.

My sister got married in 2000, they scum bay was already sh!gging someone else but felt 'obliged' to marry my sis.

They split up within the year.

My family has always been big drinkers, apart from me - nearly tee total, my sis hit the bottle in a big way. Eventually she found another man 1 year later, he was a big drinker to!!

Every night and from lunch times at weekends, my sis and her boyfriend start drinking. She is massive, really overweight. Her blood pressure is sky high, her cholesterol is high, doc says in a few years she can expect liver probs.

Men!!!!!

Pollycat

TLF
I posted yesterday to say that I tought your OH sounded very dupliticious.

I then read this from you this morning:

He stood in her front room whilst she was in the kitchen and told me that he did not want to be there and still wanted to be a family. When she came in the room he changed his tune and said he wanted her and no longer loved me.

and this this afternoon:

He was on phone this morning in tears saying what a mistake he had made and did not want this

This guy is either:
1. hedging his bets as Jay says
2. seriously messed up in his head
3. trying to mess your head up

To be honest, if my husband had stood with his 'bit on the side' and told me he wanted her (after saying the same thing to me just a minute before), he'd be history now.

Pollycat

Gert
it sounds like you are questioning whether you've made the right decision in 'trying again'.
Only you can answer that. You know exactly what has happened and has been said (or not said as the case may be) throughout all of this.

I can understand why your family are giving you a bit of stick about this, it's only natural that they are concerned about you.
This guy has hurt you once and they will be worrying that it may happen again.
Have you explained to them about why you want to try again, why you think it will work?

gerturdeanna

I think when he comes round tomorrow, I'm going to ask him if he is really serious about giving us another go, that he rings my mum and apolgises for treating me like !!!!!!. Maybe that will put my mind at ease, but then if he doesn't !!!!!! do I do then?

Rikki

gerturdeanna wrote: »

I think when he comes round tomorrow, I'm going to ask him if he is really serious about giving us another go, that he rings my mum and apolgises for treating me like !!!!!!. Maybe that will put my mind at ease, but then if he doesn't !!!!!! do I do then?

You will have an answer or the starting point for fresh discussions on where he sees your future.

Keeping_Motivated

Gert if he doesn't ring your mum then I would be asking why he won't? I mean if you can go through all this caused by him and still be willing to give it a try then surely this is the least he could do? Yes he might be embarrassed and feel awful doing it but you have had to do some pretty awful things over the last few months too because of him. I would be telling him that he needs to build up your trust again, tell you are drained by all of this and have never felt so floored so if he wants to help rebuild this and he is serious one phone call or visit to your mum is surely the very least he can do?

robster1964

Don't think about that yet love. Write down all the things you want to say, and why they are important to your peace of mind. He has got a serious amount of making up to do, and it's important he realises that, otherwise you will always have your doubts. You will know yourself if he is being honest and if he is worth all your effort. Remember it's not just you who has a lot to lose, he has aswell! Keeping my fingers crossed for you all.

Robster xxx

gettingbetter

sfh am having a pint too so your not drinking on your own

have finally decided i have had enough

kas xx

elona

Wanted to wish Moody "Good Luck" with the job interview tomorrow.

Hug to all of you going through the mill right now