Marriage over don't know where to start

scottishfreebiehunter

K I am sat here with glass of wine I know wrong wrong wrong and I seriously feel as if I have no control over me anymore,I cannot explain how my head was feeling really spinning,cups all over and no idea where or what to next.
Think a little trip to the doctors is needed as this is horrible,I know I sound pathetic but the way I feel
I wish a I could be so strong but lost it big time
xxxxxx

moodydonkey

My girls always found my husband kissing "her" which i think is where the problems arise. I have 2 girls my youngest is 10 but incredibly intelligent, it was her that told me about the affair in the first place. She now is very defensive and thinks that any involvement with a man constitutes a relationship.
I'm sorry but you cannot allow your children to see any kind of "involvement" as they just don't understand it.
Harsh and being in a relationship myself it's hard but kids interpret things totally differently xx

gerturdeanna

When I told OH that the [EMAIL="sl@g"]sl@g[/EMAIL] was going to dump him, he did seem suprised but now I don't know. OH didn't know until the next morning that she was changing her number and I have been through his phone when he was asleep on Sun morn and there are no calls to or from any number apart from mine, his boss where he is staying and his work. She can't have called him from his work cos she don't work in that office anymore. I'm pretty sure that they are not in contact anymore but the point is how long would it have gone on for if I hadn't found out and confronted him and told her fella?
I'm pretty sure he was telling the truth when we talked on Saturday, but how will I ever know when he's lying ever again....maybe I am just an 'easy lay' for him and then he can now have his cake and eat it, with his wife being the cake IYKWIM?!?!!?!?

moodydonkey

SFH been there read the book and worn the t shirt. Believe me you are doing great.
Have been in the stage where pinot grigio is my best friend. If you want a new friend to chat to my darling pm me, and that goes for anyone.

Will post my credentials.

Rubbish marriage
Pregnant mistress (his not mine)
No friends
No job
Welcome to the land of benefits
Can drink more than my bodyweight in wine
Got out the other side!!!!
Carp have my first job interview in 3 years tomorrow lol well hey ho xxxx

gerturdeanna

Good luck for tomorrow Moody!!!

moodydonkey

Thanks Gert, am not hoping but would be nice, can do the job with hands tied behind my back but am guessing 3 years on IS isn't going to help.
I really do hope things for you do work out, for what it's worth i forgot a few affairs. You just have to forget them and move on.
It's hard but it really isn't the end of the world.
I for one made a few mistakes in my marriage too so I really hope you sort things out.
In the end after everything that has been said in this thread sometimes you are with a man that takes your breath away. We all stop trying and drift along. Nobody is without fault but if we can learn and move on and improve our relationships then good luck to all of us xx

kizzykizzywizzy

Come on Gert, what the hell would he want to be with that old slapper for when he's got you? I truly think he made a big mistake & realises what he will lose.
I think your family are making you doubt your true feelings.
Only you & him can decide whether you can make it work.
Can someone look after the kids whilst you have a bit of time alone together, without any chance of them walking in on you.

kizzykizzywizzy

moodydonkey wrote: »

SFH been there read the book and worn the t shirt. Believe me you are doing great.
Have been in the stage where pinot grigio is my best friend. If you want a new friend to chat to my darling pm me, and that goes for anyone.

Will post my credentials.

Rubbish marriage
Pregnant mistress (his not mine)
No friends
No job
Welcome to the land of benefits
Can drink more than my bodyweight in wine
Got out the other side!!!!
Carp have my first job interview in 3 years tomorrow lol well hey ho xxxx

Sounds like the way it seems to go once they drop thier trousers for most!
Good luck with the interview - we will all be rooting for you:T

Keeping_Motivated

Gert... your family are quite rightly worried and protective of you as you know. You told them all the bad stuff and that is where their heads are still at IYSWIM, they have not had the 'talks' and intimacy that you and OH have had so they are still back in the 'depths' of his betrayal in their minds. You are their daughter and we would be the same I think about our daughters. So in my opinion the person who should be trying to talk them round is your OH, he needs to grow a pair of b*lls and confront them and grovel and put their minds at some ease that he will make this up to you and not hurt you again. This is his mess, he has to take responsibility for sorting it. Go easy on your family and understand their attitude is because they love you. Not saying you don't understand by the way.

KM x

robster1964

Gert Honey, you babe you sound like, you are struggling a bit today, which is bound to happen, you must have so many unanswered questions and loose ends still yet to tie up. When he comes tomorrow why don't you ask for some reassurance that he really loves you. Write it down, what you really want to say and get it off your chest..... Hope this helps love.

SFH, It sounds to me like you are having a panic attack. I feel for you so much cos you are in hell at the moment. I wish I could zoom up in my car and come and give you a hug and some reassurance, and share your wine with you! Try to look forward love, don't beat yourself up about the wine, millions of people do it, especially in times of acute stress. One day this will be a distant memory and you will be stronger.

Just keep posting your thoughts and get as much of your feelings off your chest as you can manage, cos otherwise it will churn you up inside. xxx

Kizzy, god you made me giggle with the pie quote. Well done for handling that unexpected situation with aloofness. I know you still have your bad days, but the way you are being more pragmatic, and showing him you don't need him is I am sure the right thing to do. xxx

Robster xxx