Marriage over don't know where to start

gettingbetter

sfh
hang in there you make the rules and if it doesnt like it tough crap on his part
his doing not yours
kas x

TLF1970

My kids are girl 6 amd boy 8. They know what a girlfriend is but don't think they understand that daddy should not have one.

He was on phone this morning in tears saying what a mistake he had made and did not want this. Sounds really screwed up - I nearly felt sorry for him.

He has spoken to his sister and she has offered him a room to stay in for as long as he likes. He says that he is going there tonight after he has been around to put kids to bed. He says he needs to get his head straight but is sure he does not want this woman.

Am I being stupid being hopeful? Is he just feeling guilty?

Update you later.

jay11_2

TLF1970 wrote: »

My kids are girl 6 amd boy 8. They know what a girlfriend is but don't think they understand that daddy should not have one.

He was on phone this morning in tears saying what a mistake he had made and did not want this. Sounds really screwed up - I nearly felt sorry for him.

He has spoken to his sister and she has offered him a room to stay in for as long as he likes. He says that he is going there tonight after he has been around to put kids to bed. He says he needs to get his head straight but is sure he does not want this woman.

Am I being stupid being hopeful? Is he just feeling guilty?

Update you later.

Sounds like he's hedging his bets while he (or the woman?) decides. Sorry hun.

gerturdeanna

Thats how I'm feeling at the moment - that my OH is just hedging his bets whilst he decides what he wants - all the while I stuck here,taking the crap from the rest of my family and having to cudle the kids when they cry.

Keeping_Motivated

Gert what makes you feel like that? I thought he has said what he wants? Or is it coz of all the lies you are finding it hard to believe?

Keeping_Motivated

TLF1970 wrote: »

My kids are girl 6 amd boy 8. They know what a girlfriend is but don't think they understand that daddy should not have one.

He was on phone this morning in tears saying what a mistake he had made and did not want this. Sounds really screwed up - I nearly felt sorry for him.

He has spoken to his sister and she has offered him a room to stay in for as long as he likes. He says that he is going there tonight after he has been around to put kids to bed. He says he needs to get his head straight but is sure he does not want this woman.

Am I being stupid being hopeful? Is he just feeling guilty?

Update you later.

The only way you will know is by his actions I suppose. He will have to prove it to you that he is now telling the truth. The responsibility for helping you believe is all down to him, he has done the damage he now has to repair it if that is what he wants. Do you want to make it work?

trancebabe

TFL... really sorry that your DH turned out to be a plank as well!! There's so many about
Of course he's feeling guilty, he's been really stooopid and it sounds to me like all this has given him a kick up the @rse which he deserved... but please, don't even begin to go there and feel sorry for him!
Funny how he doesn't want her now he can't have you huh !?!
Stay strong hun, work out what is right for you and your kids first

SFH - Hang in there sweetie... there's always stormclouds before the sun breaks and I know you're sun will break through as long as you have faith

Jules - Your nearly 46 yr old DH appears to have had a frontal labotomy! check his forhead for the scars because if it's not that, he's clearly gone nuts. I really feel for you, you're in a really scarey place with being a soon to be mum of 2 under 3 but you're going to be ok!

Kizzy - I loved that 'they make you fat' comment! and I think you're FAB! Did you get a foxy outfit for Friday?

Hugs for all of you
Tx

gerturdeanna

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Gert what makes you feel like that? I thought he has said what he wants? Or is it coz of all the lies you are finding it hard to believe?

He has said that he wants to be with me and he deleted her number in front of me without me asking and thats not the sort of thing he would normally do - he did that to show he was real about not wanting to contact her.
But then when we talked on Saturday he said that it would have finished before she got married anyway because she wouldn't have given up her wedding for him. Its just got me thinking that they must have been discussing it etc for her to have said that and so maybe he's just holding on to see if she does get married or not. And with him saying he wants to take it slow - well if he wants to be with me, why isn't he here right now!! And why did he do it in the first effing place!!!
He comes round and sees the kids three times a week, he was never a real 'hands-on' dad before, so now he can see them when they are all excited etc cos Daddy's coming round, he only has to play with them, make their tea and bath them 3 times a week - yet I end up with all the !!!!!!, when they are crying cos he's not here, when they won't do as I 've asked them to etc. He's got no responsibiltys, he can do what he wants, when he wants, with who he wants for the other days, spend his money on whatever, whenever, whilst I'm constantly telling the kids ' no, sorry darling we can't have that cos Mummy hasn't got enough money today', just been looking through my food cupboards and its all SMARTPRICE crap!!
He comes round and gets kisses and cuddles from the kids (and me, last Thursday, which I am so not proud about now!!) and then go and do whatever!!
If he wanted me, he would be HERE, trying to sort it out.
I think I've made the wrong decision by chucking him out. I think if I wanted to try and work it out with him, he should still be here so he can deal with the crap.
Just feeing sorry for myself. Ignore me.

julie2710

Thanks to everyone who has given their support - it really helps!! Went to the hospital this morning and everything is going ok with the baby - my blood pressure hasn't even gone up!! Don't know how I managed that??
They've booked me in for my c-section on 29th Sept, so on the + side that gives me two weeks after OH leaves this Saturday to get the place sorted out! (and me!!)
He's still being a pratt - he woke up this morning and upset our little boy by shouting at him for no reason - he told him to shut-up and he didn't want him moaning first thing in the morning - then put him back in his bedroom!! If that's how he's going to wake up and treat his son we're better off without him here!!
SFH - hope you're feeling a bit better today.

moodydonkey

HI ladies, no advice to give really cos I just dip in and out but have been watching.
Just really wanted to say keep going. Yes it's rubbish but as you are seeing things do move on, either you try again (best of luck honey) or you don't.
Doesn't always end rubbish either