Marriage over don't know where to start

kizzykizzywizzy

Chip_Hazard wrote: »

Unbelievable!

Why??

Have you never made a mistake?

He obviously had a weak moment, but has come to his senses & realised what he could lose & knowing Gert these last few weeks or so, he had a lot to lose.

They both love each other have 2 beautiful children, & a lot of years ahead of them to get over this, if they don't at least try, they will always wonder what might have been.

I'm very happy for Gert & she's sensible & intelligent enough to take it slowly.

Good Luck Gert you have my support anyway!

GeorgeUK

Must admit i'm a little surprised too Chip - can't help bur wonder what would have happened if the guy hadn't taken those pills.

Not going to judge either Gert or her man though. She deserves to be happy and if she thinks he can do that then fair enough. I would hope though that there are conditions to this reunion - going to relate or similar. You won't just be able to forget this, but you may be able to forgive. You need to deal with it before you can move on.

Good luck Gert. Hope you make it.

kizzykizzywizzy

tesuhoha wrote: »

hi kizzy

youre doing so well and getting stronger. Not sure if having him staying the night is a good idea. It might knock you back again; he's trying to worm his way back into your affections so that you are dependent on him. He doesn't like to see you coping as others have said. Better to keep him at arms length or beyond. Also I think he likes to know what's going on with you as he's afraid of what you might do with regard to his security. Just a theory.

If he does stay it will definately be on the sofa!! if I get home & he's in the bed ( which he better not be ) then I will be on the sofa!
It's not until next Friday so plenty of time apart for me to show him I mean business. Not letting him anywhere near my heart anymore, he's hurt me too much. Anyway friend is a lightweight like me, so will probably be in by 9pm:p

gettingbetter

kizzy

sod that if you get home and he is in the bed kick him out to the sofa
he made his bed
he has to lie in it
kas xx

piglet6

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

If he does stay it will definately be on the sofa!! if I get home & he's in the bed ( which he better not be ) then I will be on the sofa!
It's not until next Friday so plenty of time apart for me to show him I mean business. Not letting him anywhere near my heart anymore, he's hurt me too much. Anyway friend is a lightweight like me, so will probably be in by 9pm:p

Keep going, Kizzy - I may not post very often on this thread, but I have been following it from the beginning. You're doing well - keep strong!

Piglet
x

Chip_Hazard

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Why??

Have you never made a mistake?

He obviously had a weak moment, but has come to his senses & realised what he could lose & knowing Gert these last few weeks or so, he had a lot to lose.

They both love each other have 2 beautiful children, & a lot of years ahead of them to get over this, if they don't at least try, they will always wonder what might have been.

I'm very happy for Gert & she's sensible & intelligent enough to take it slowly.

Good Luck Gert you have my support anyway!

The first two lines are a bit unnecessary, Kizzy. I just found the news unbelievable after reading several dozen pages about what she was going through, how she'd told the children that daddy was going away for a while, how she told you to be strong and to stand up to how your OH was treating you and, best of all, he was "a plank with no personality and no knob". That doesn't even mention the tablets that bloke took....

Now tonight, they're back together and you don't find that slightly unbelievable? I wasn't expecting it, maybe you were, so in my eyes, it was unbelievable. Is that okay? I'm not even angry ( like Gert predicted people would be ), I'm just gobsmacked.

As for your OH stopping over, you know you shouldn't let it happen. He is playing with your head again, look at the way he just assumed he could stay over. Can't he understand that it's over?

kizzykizzywizzy

Sorry but I have been speaking to Gert & I have got to know her very well & sometimes people say things about people to try & cover the way they really feel, because they've been hurt, so I don't find it at all unbelievable & found that to be unnecesary.

As for telling the kids Daddy's going away, he will be as they are taking things very slowly & he is not moving back straight away.
Yes she's told me to be strong, because she knows how my heart rules my head & I need to be strong & not give in to my feelings, as I will only get hurt yet again.

No it doesn't matter if he does stay over at all, ( & by rights he can live here, it's half his & he pays the mortgage & bills at the moment ) I won't make the mistake of sleeping in the same bed again.
He knows it's over, because it's him that's said that.
Blimey I row more with you than I ever did my Husband!!:D

gettingbetter

:j go kizzy go kizzy:j
you show them whos boss
kas xx

kizzykizzywizzy

gettingbetter wrote: »

:j go kizzy go kizzy:j
you show them whos boss
kas xx

:rotfl: :rotfl:
Night I'm definately going now - nothing like a good row to get you off to sleep:p

robster1964

Chip, you are way out on this one mate.........

You are judging a situation, but, only from a narrow perspective, your own.

Women are very very different.

I think you are wonderful, with your honest appraisal of your lost relationship and your obvious resillience caring for your children.

Your comment to Gert's situation, is fairly typical of some men........ because your hurt is so bad......... you can't recognise some elses, cos they are not reacting in the same way as a man would do..........

Women are different chip, they nurture and care and love, lots of times unconditionally. Lots of times men love that sort of love and attention. Sometimes it goes t***s up. But the bottom line is women will always have that love..... they may get abused cos of it, they may get left and unappreciated......... At the end of the day, we may love too much, but we love!

You may say, 'What about the Men?' I go back to my first statement....'Perspective'........

To me it means 'Every relationship has problems, women can acknowledge them (most times!) and look for solutions......

Men seem to think a problem is the end of their world, and have to escape to the land of milk and honey.

Sorry Babe, the girls are going through enough without questioning their decisions........ It's just not the same for men Chip.

Night all, soz for the rant....
Robster xxxxx