Marriage over don't know where to start

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks Dinky have been listening to music earlier - hence the you tube links, just had Queen don't stop me now!! which I love.
Also been bathing the kids & am just about to get them off to bed hopefully.
DFS rang earlier to ask how DD got on, sounded upset again, I said she had a great day & loved it, she really enjoys school. He said i won't talk to them, whether that's so they don't get upset, or him I don't know. He also said, it's not tomorrow I'm looking after them is it, I said no next Friday & can you look after them longer as I'm going out? he said yes, I can stay over!!! you won't have to rush back - didn't reply to this, but if he does it WILL be on the sofa! Then he said I'll do anything I can do to help you?
I don't know what he's up to? easing the guilt I think, where as before I thought he still loved me - it's just guilt easing!
Anyway my feelings now are he had his chance he didn't take it, so tough

scottishfreebiehunter

:TGlad you are feeling like this Kizzy,I am still moping around like sad sack:rolleyes:
I still insist youre oh is still not sure he has done the right thing, but who knows what the hell they are thinking

made chocolate Krispie cakes with ds and remember of strawberries he dipped chocolate in so he is happy.

It is starting to get darker at night and all those winter nights ahead OMFG give me a shake,going to have a glass of wine not the answer but ......................

dinky excellent advice though the music just makes me feel sad

Rikki

Chocolates ladies?

bubbs

Hi,
I have never commented on this before just lurked. I have a story and it goes like this.........
My sister was living but not married to her partner for 10 years, she knew something was wrong and couldnt get to the bottom of it, then she said to me hes seeing someone and i think its ..blah blah blah......I said no you got to be wrong, but we started playing detective and yes it was who we thought...this [EMAIL="sl@g"]sl@g[/EMAIL] as she is now known as (we never ever use her name) was our sister!!!!
The hurt , the anger the why's nearly destroyed me and her she lost weight at an alarming rate and went to about 7st from 10st, she couldnt stop crying and it was why??? i need to know......I kept saying to her you will never know the answer to this, she was drinking more and more although never dependant on it, . she mentally tortured herself for over 18 months and ended up in counselling, and i nearly ended up there too......but on top of this my parents seeme to side with the [EMAIL="sl@g"]sl@g[/EMAIL] as she was the baby of the family (18 years younger) so it broke down our relationship with them although now 6and 1/2 years on we are talking again and seem to be getting on better.
There is still one BUT and its a big BUT they are getting married this month (the [EMAIL="sl@g"]sl@g[/EMAIL] and the [EMAIL="tw@t"]!!!!!![/EMAIL]!) this caused another massive row between us and my parents as they are going to the wedding(they are getting married abroad) which my dad did say he would never do.......but you know what let them get on with it is our attitude now.
In the end my sister decided she was going on a long holiday for 2 months, packed her job in and started her own buisness when she came back which is now thriving.
I know you ladies cant do this as you have children, but please see there is a light at the end of the tunnell.
I wish you all well, and please please talk do not bottle anything up, get rid of the anger by dancing, thumping a pillow or talking.
I hope this posts this time as this is the 2nd time i have written it out!

bubbs

Sorry that was a long post, but i felt i just had to let you know there is light there

kizzykizzywizzy

Yes please I like nutty ones!!

SFH - glad you had a good time making cakes, I must admit, music can work both ways.

You sound a bit happier though, but as I've said, please call me if you need to speak to someone.

trancebabe

Rikki wrote: »

Chocolates ladies?

Ooo looks like I arrived just in time... !! :rotfl:

*scoffs

Nice to have you back Kizz... knew you wouldn't be down for long!

SFH - you're going to be on a bit of a roller coaster for a while, it's all normal and as upsetting as it is, it's progress. Honestly... at some point you're tears will dry up and you'll move onto the next stage of recovery

now... where's those nutty centres!

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks for posting Bubbs, what an awful situation!
My sisters husband cheated on her, she tried to make a go of it, it didn't work out, during this time she got breast cancer, which, although not proven, she believes she got because of the shock, she also lost tons of weight due to the stress. Just before she finished her treatment & before she got the all clear our Mum died, seeing my sister so upset about EX & getting cancer made my Mum very ill with worry too.
Sis is now on holiday with her lovely boyfriend, who treats her the way she should be treated, the divorce is still dragging along & her sad EX is living in the spare room - won't move out & has no-one. The stress of all of this has really taken a toll on her health & when this all happened to her she said to DFS, don't ever even think of doing this, you can see how much damage it does, not just to your wife, but to family & friends. He obviously didn't listen & speaking to MIL today I can hear in her voice she is under a lot of stress because of this, she's elderly & FIL is not a well man, so he's doing exactly the same as Sisters EX.

kizzykizzywizzy

OY Trancebaby get your mitts off the nutty ones are mine

pamril1

Hello Kizzy and everyone who listened to me yesterday.xx
Sorry If I have had you worrying I haven't been able to get on until now.
Thought I would update everyone.

So he came home and I sat him down and everything was very calm. I asked him if he had taken dd anywhere and forgotten to tell me, he said no I haven't she's only been to my mums with me. I know I shouldn't have told him everything but I couldn't keep it in.
I told him exactly what dd had said. He said he hadn't a clue where it had come from and he didn't even know anyone of that description then said dd either had seen something on tv, had a very good imagination or she had dreamed it all. So I said it's very unusual for a child that age to be able to come up with something like that, he raised his voice and said I didn't trust him etc.
There is something decidedly fishy about all of this but I said ok then I take your word for it (just to settle things for the time being). I have decided to keep very close tabs on him and see if he is upto something... I hope to god he isn't and it's just me thinking too much.
Managed to sneak a peak at mobile today. No texts in sent or inbox. All calls to friends, checked phonebook but all under names I recognise (not that he would put anything incriminating in there anyway)

Thanks again for listening to me everyone. You are all going through so much in your lives yet have the time and compassion to give me advice and care about how I am. You are all truly remarkable, lovely people xxxxxxxx


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