Marriage over don't know where to start

kizzykizzywizzy

Couldn't stop myself, rang SIL having her dinner said she'd ring back, I said don't worry. She asked if I wanted to speak to EX - said NO

Pollycat

Kizzy
please, please don't take this the wrong way, but do you think that writing about what's happened to such a great extent is making you think more about things than you actually would if you weren't posting so much?

I wouldn't for one minute want to take away your support network, but are you really giving yourself any chance to think about anything else?

I know how it feels to sit alone and go over and over things that have been said and remember happier times, but could this actually be making things worse for you?

If posting on here is helping you in any way to get through this, then please forget I ever said anything.
I hope this hasn't upset you, it was just a thought I had.

Do try not to phone him, if you do think that he should see the kids before next friday, then wait until you either see him or he phones you.

I'm glad that DS's first day at school went well, hopefully he'll be tired and sleep OK tonight.

Take care

Rikki

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

I know, I just do, I won't but I want to.
Also I have exhausted my friend supply & SIL is actually a good friend.
I don't need to speak to him.
Also I'm worried what he's now said to her about access, probably painted a very pretty picture of me!

The picture he paints doesn't matter.

You only have to worry about you and the children. It doesn't matter what he says providing you know whats right.

I was a mother with two small children living in a small village at the time of my divorce and the things that were said about me would make your hair curl.
I never once got on my soap box to defend or justify. I held my head high ignored the gossip and carried on my life.

Rise above it.

scottishfreebiehunter

Hi again guys


Its so so hard I feel like I am begging for benefits and all the forms,I wish I didnt have to do this,oh well who knows maybe win Euro millions friday,or even small part of it would be fine:T

Everyones advice etc is invaluable and yes this thread and speaking to you all and kizzy on the phone has helped me big time.
It is hard where to go next but take each day as it comes,well that was until I got my doc to check my legs as all sore and he said oh look G you have a blood clot then said only joking:rolleyes::rolleyes::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:as I am paronoid about flying etc etc

Rikki

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Couldn't stop myself, rang SIL having her dinner said she'd ring back, I said don't worry. She asked if I wanted to speak to EX - said NO

You are either weak or stupid.

You could push him further away if you try to get too clingy.

It upsets the children him being there, then not being there. You are not helping that situation.

robster1964

Please don't phone him Kizzy, because his response will affect how you feel. I know you couldn't feel any worse, but if he seems ok, it will give you another glimmer of hope, and if he is horrible it will just affect your self esteem again. Don't give him that power.

I know you badly want him to come back and I think you would forgive him his despicable behaviour, but until he wants to babe, there's nothing you can do to change that. The only message you can send out, is that you are moving on, he wasn't that special anyway and you are going to do this properly to secure yours and the childrens futures by putting the matter in the hands of the professionals. You will get stronger Kizzy and it will get easier. One day you will wake up and think 'What the f*** am I doing, letting that freak dictate how I feel?' and with that thought will come a fighting spirit, that will make each day a little easier.

Love and Hugs to you and the Kids xxxxx

Hate and venom to him and his man beast!!!!

Robster xx

scottishfreebiehunter

Rikki wrote: »

You are either weak or stupid.

You could push him further away if you try to get too clingy.

It upsets the children him being there, then not being there. You are not helping that situation.

:huh::huh: You are either weak or stupid. ???

I do not think stupid is the right word as she still loves the guy

robster1964

Ok, Ok you've done it, haven't you, you little monkey? Oh well, least you didn't speak to him, good girl. You are not stupid, but yeah probably weak, as we all would be in your situation. You have been emotionally battered and bruised, your whole life is falling down, and you want it back. So weakness is quite understandable. It will get easier love, just you see.

Robster xxx

Rikki

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

:huh::huh: You are either weak or stupid. ???

I do not think stupid is the right word as she still loves the guy

Stupid to think it will makes things better by phoning.

Its frustrating in one breath she is not going to phone and two minutes later she has. Especially when she might not like what she hears and is upset when there is no need to be.

It is stupid/silly to put herself through unnecessary additional heart ache.

scottishfreebiehunter

Mine is downstairs with my son and for a point felt as if we were still HAPPILY married then I remembered now :(:(again
Trying to hold it all together for my ds sake as cannot see him so unhappy and gutted way he has been.