Marriage over don't know where to start

gerturdeanna

Right I am getting on my high horse now - yes, we are al going through a difficult time and comments like 'you are being weak and stupid' no matter how they are written or intended - hurt immensly!!!! The comments weren't directed at me, I know, but Kizzy, SFH, myself and anyone else who is going through similar situations, are all highly emtotional and comments like that could just push us over the edge. Please think how things are going to be taken before you post.
Thanks

gerturdeanna

Again, can we be supportive to how people are feeling right now!! Yes we may need to grow balls but first we need to grieve for our lives that have been turned completly upside down.
I have just spoken to Kizzy on the phone and she almost feels like she can't come back here right now. Thats is RIDCULOUS!!! People in a highlyemotional state (which we are right now) need our support networks, whoever they maybe. At this moment, here is ours. We need to support each other and accept that what has happened, has happened and that we may need advice etc to cope with it. Please again, think about what you are posting and if you wouldn't have liked someone to say the same to you, when/if you were/are going through the same, the please don't post.

Kizzy, you are not stupid or weak!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are going through a terrible time and some/most of us are here to be your sounding off board. Come back and talk. And remeber what I said on the phone. xx

scottishfreebiehunter

Thanks pollycatxxxxxxxxxxx

Its tough for sure fingers crossed for me for that Euro millions lol Friday,or a 9th of it even;)

Mine just gone and I am gutted again I love him so much and he was my world and tears streaming down my face,I am not in eyeshot of ds as do not want him to see me like this.
Ds seems okay for now so thats good,It would be good if oh could take him elsewhere but he cannot and for now best having ds in comfort zone,I wish I didnt love him so much and now feel so stupid


And Elona says they are not who we were married to well mine certainly is not.

Rikki

Remember tomorrow is another day and things will all look different in the morning.

colnkits

(((Kizzy)))

Don't cut off from your support hun.

xxx

elona

There are at least three OH's heads I want to bang together for the hurt they caused!!!

Even if they read the relevant posts I doubt they have the sensitivity to see just what they have done!

Kizzy

Please don't cut yourself off! The only person who is stupid and weak is your OH.

He is also the one who needs to grow some - and act like a man rather than a spoilt child!

If he was unhappy (which I really doubt!) then it was his responsibility to talk to you - to go to counselling- get some advice - whatever - or at least to give you a damn clue!!!!!!!:mad:

Not just to run off with the moose!!!!

I think she has probably got some other fool in tow by now and he is in for a nasty shock at some point.

Please Kizzy

Try to put him out of your mind for a short space of time so you can get some rest and take care of yourself.

I hate it that the world is revolving round him and he has you on a string and is hurting you.

Another gentle hug

elj2287

Kizzy, please don't think were sick of you, we are not in the slightest!!! I have been following since the start and check daily to see how you all are doing. I don't often post much as everyones advice is just fantastic! Just hope your all ok and just take each day as it comes. Don't worry about when he will want to see the kids next, start your day as you want to and as you see fit. May sound harsh on his part but nothing could be as hurtful as what he did to your family.

Big hugs to everyone!! xxx

Rikki

I didn't post any comments on the weekend away. I hoped that it would bring the two of you closer. helping you to work things out.

I'm sorry that since you've returned hes gone back to being the horrible husband we didn't want.

As I've said before you need to protect yourself and the children. Make sure they are not continually sent mixed messages. He can fend for himself they can't.

GeorgeUK

Kizzy - if we were sick of you, this thread wouldn't have reached over 2200 posts.

We understand that you are upset and feel like you are all alone. I'm sure Rikki would never have meant to say something to offend you or hurt you - just look at some of her previous posts.

You had a moment of weakness - you're only human. Right now though this talk of dying and not wanting to go on has to stop. The pain will lessen and your kids will be there for you. Allowing this wound to get bigger or to keep rubbing at it by having these weak monents is going to keep you feeling like this. I'm not going to say snap out of it, but you do need to be aware of how much damage remaining in the place you are currently at is going to have on you.

big hugs ( ok a dodgy one then) :grouphug:

Keeping_Motivated

Kizzy I don't think you are weak or stupid.

For the last 21 years you if you felt upset/hurt/low then who did you turn to? Your ex! So now you are probably at the lowest point in your life and who do you want to turn to? Your ex! Even though he is the one doing the hurting you can't just switch your feelings off, your main support source has been taken away from you in your greatest hour of need, how cruel is that?! Its so distorted, no wonder you are needing/wanting contact one minute then are angry the next. In my opinion the way you are acting is 'normal'. You are grieving a massive loss.
Allow yourself this mini breakdown, be kind to yourself and you will come through it. With a loss like this your emotions are literally like a roller coaster and you have no choice in the matter but go along for the ride. Hold on tight and it will stop I promise.

Please do not stop posting here, all intentions are meant well, even if we do not agree with the wording etc its all meant to be trying to help.

We must all realise that most of us are posting from a rational outside perspective. Kizzy and the others are in the thick of it experiencing every SINGLE feeling/emotion and its hard to be rational 24/7 when you are going through that.