Marriage over don't know where to start

gerturdeanna

I know a few of you have mentioned my drinking as have I on numerous occasions. I decided today that I wasn't drinking anymore - I only drank when the kids were in bed anyway.
Me and OH were talking before when he was here with the kids, whilst they were having their tea in the other room, we have discussed maybe having another try and both came to the conclusion that if we do, it has to be a complete fresh new start, new house, new area, new job for him, new attitude. Its something we are both going to thin about over the next weeks. I do honestly think that he has just messed up and that he is truly sorry - he hasn't spoken to her since we found out her fella was in hospital. He doesn't even want to, he has said. I do know that he may be lying to me again but my intuition says not this time. He does seem really remorseful. Maybe this was the wake up call we both needed - I do realise it is still early days and things have got to change on both sides, because neither of us was perfect etc.
I haven't filed for divorce or sold my rings yet. And right now, I don't think I will.

Rikki

Hows Kizzy doing?

I was wondering if she had a good weekend and managed to solve any problems.

Keeping_Motivated

Gert as I have said to Kizzy in the earlier days you have to go with your personal situation, so think it through and do what is right for you. If he is adamant he wants to try again would you ask him to ring 'her' infront of you and tell her he has made a mistake, he loves you and that you are trying again and to never contact him again? Maybe that would put your mind at ease a little if you do try again?

gerturdeanna

I appreciate the fact that although you are my support network and my friends!! - that you are letting me make this decision on my own - thankyou. I was worried whilst I was posting that everyone would say no, don't do it, he's a w a n k e r etc etc. Thank -and I'm hoping you'll be here to pick up the pieces if it all goes bad?!?!!

bunty109

Gert, for him to say all this now perhaps shows he's been shocked into realising what he stands to lose. After all, the way is paved for him to run off into the sunset with this other woman and he's not.

I really wouldn't blame you if you chose to give him a chance, just as I wouldn't blame you for kicking him in the nads and telling him to b**ger off!!

You have to make this decision and if you decide to give it another go he needs to realise he's drinking at the last chance saloon!!

Rikki

gerturdeanna wrote: »

I appreciate the fact that although you are my support network and my friends!! - that you are letting me make this decision on my own - thankyou. I was worried whilst I was posting that everyone would say no, don't do it, he's a w a n k e r etc etc. Thank -and I'm hoping you'll be here to pick up the pieces if it all goes bad?!?!!

Thats the one thing we all do appreciate.

I think you know in your heart ( I know I certainly did) whether you can forgive and want to try again. The same as when decide yes I'm glad I did or no this isn't going to work.

Sometimes just blurting thoughts out onto here helps you see things clearer.

scottishfreebiehunter

Gert do what is best for you and familyxxxxxxxxxxx though be very careful and I know you will.

Pollycat

Wow, Gert, that certainly came right out of left field (well for me at least).

If this is what you really, really want and it feels right, then I hope that it all works out for you.
It's not anyone else's place to tell you whether it's right or wrong to try again, everyone who has posted on here and has followed your roller coaster journey is rooting for you.

Whatever you decide to do will be a massive decision, take time to consider what's is best for you and your family.

Whilst I'm sure you can forgive what he's done, I wouldn't want either you or your OH to underestimate the difficulty of being able to 'forget'.

I know that Kizzy said in the earlier days when she thought there was a chance of getting back with her OH that she would never, ever throw this affair back in his face, but that is much, much easier to say than to do, especially when he's a little late home from work, his mobile is switched off or maybe when he wants to attend a work party.

Anyway, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that whatever you want in your heart of hearts comes to pass.
XXX

wannabespendthrift

Hey ladies,

No direct experience of what's going on but have lurked from the start.

Just wanted to chip in and say I think it's really great how you've all become such a support group for one another and even when people like Gert and Kizzy say they're throwing their OHs out and the next post they're going to try again, there's a great respect amongst everyone and the idea is just to support and be there.


Why oh why can the world not be like this on a wider scale???!

gerturdeanna

In my ideal world - Martin Lewis would be king!! hehe!!
Still no word from Kizzy? Have you called her SFH?


PS: I've not had a drink!!!