Marriage over don't know where to start

trancebabe

I guess Kizzy's at Alton Towers now, but I just logged on to catch up with her (and everyone else)

Kizzy - I'm so sorry he's being mean to you - you deserve something so much better!

I guess you need to keep in mind that the man you married is no longer the man you married, and the man you had your children with has made some decisions that no longer include you.

whether things work out with moosey or not, things will never be the same between you again, and for that alone he is not worth your tears anymore.

You will be strong again, you can't switch your feelings off but you will get better control over them. At some point in the future, you will not love this man anymore. You wont be able to pinpoint the exact time it happened but one morning, you wont feel empty anymore, you wont retch at the thought of him with someone (anyone) else.

You don't recognise him, you hardly know him and he will become someone who you used to share a lot with, but you don't anymore and you wont remember exactly why you wanted to in the first place)

It's all part of the grieving process. You've suffered a terrible loss and you need time to recover.

Take the time and take it easy on yourself.
xx

elona

Kizzy

Just remember here are dozens of people posting or reading on here that wish you the very best of luck and are on your side.

He has maybe two people who might spit on him if he were on fire ( not including the moose!)

Just remember the phrase "You sad, sorry little man!" because it really does describe hm!!!

tesuhoha

kizzy I feel so sorry for you.

As Ive said before its time to let him go, to back off both physically, mentally and emotionally. Push him away, that's the only way to avoid being hurt. Remember that you are a lovely classy woman who is far above the likes of a cheap womanising cheat. If he's done this to you, he'll probably do it to her at sometime and you are well rid of him.

Try to create a cosy little life with your kids and a new social life. Hopefully someone much more worthwhile will come along for you.

scottishfreebiehunter

went out had a drink eaten cold chinese ,everyone looks about 12:rolleyes:oh still a prat feel like crap so see you all in morning:rotfl:

gerturdeanna

been out, had such a laugh
men are such f****ing W*****krs
didnt get a snog, maybe next time! ha ha ha ha

GeorgeUK

Never thought i'd see you posting those types of comments Kizzy. I'm not sure if he's just a turd or if this his revenge for not shaing his hug the other day. You made him feel bad so he'll make you feel bad.

It's time to get some armour. His opinion obviously still matters to you as it hurts you so much when he talks down to you, but you need to ask yourself why. What is it about him that makes you value his opinion? He lies, cheats and is a bully. He may not have been in the past but that is what he has become.

I almost wish my internet connection was working properly the past few days so i could tell you to let him take the kids on their own as other have suggested. If you didn't let the kids go he'd get to make you look like the bad guy and if you did go he'd still make you feel bad somehow. Hope things went ok.

I'd have a sitdown with the kids when you get back to ask about the holiday and gently let them know that it doesn't mean mummy and daddy are getting back together.

I've no idea why he's playing these games but you can't let him get to you like this. There's only one way to win a game of cat and mouse - don't be the mouse. You are the victim of his infidelity and he is living in a fantasy of what will be with mooseface when she comes off the ship. Does he even know if she's told her husband?

He's acting like a slimy lizard and you need to stop being a victim. I know it's going to be hard and i honestly can't imagine the pain you're feeling, but he isn't going to stop unless he's made to. Draw a line and make sure that if he crosses it he knows not to do it again. He isn't a kid and shouldn't need to be told what is acceptable behaviour. He shows you no respect and seems to think that being friendly for the sake of the kids will make everything ok - but it won't.

He's looking for an easy out - don't rock the boat. He says he's made his decision and you will just need to accept that, but this works both ways. You are not subject to his whims or concerns anymore. You are being a good mother and do not have "welcome" written across your forehead so should not be treated as a doormat. Who does he think he is to talk to you like that? You have nothing to be ashamed of and have done nothing wrong.

If it eases his guilt to come around and play with the kids but still being "friends" - tough. A friend wouldn't treat you like that. He can only hurt you if you let him. He may have been a kind and caring man but that isn't what he is anymore. He isn't the man you fell in love with and as someone already said - he is now a stranger. He has different values and a changed personality. There may have been a time when you wanted to get back together with him, but you will need to look at the new man and decide if that is something you could live with. What has gone before is now a closed chapter. It's time to turn the page and see if this new man has any virtues that you would want in your life. Just because he loves the children isn't going to be enough - this is about you.

Either way you will need to stand tall and let him see that you won't be walked over. We know you are strong enough to do that and if need be to push back. As for the house, he's already changing his tune from what he said before. I think it would be best to get advice on what you are legally entitled to and what he should be getting. Asking for £20k out of the blue does not sound like it would be in your best interests. Don't feel rushed to make any decisions on something like this. Sometimes it's good to rock the boat a little - or does he just expect to have his own way?

Take care Kiz.
Hope you're okay.

And Gert - i'm getting a little worried about you too. Not turning into a lush are you?

Hell1

Hi Kizzy:j

Just a thought.... Can you think about raising £20,000 to buy him out of the house? I bought my husband out for £40.000, and while I am struggling to pay off the various loans I got from banks, friends ect, I do have the flat!

If you can do this - get a lodger perhaps and a pt job, you will really be in control. But make sure it is all done legally, he has to sign the house over to you and get his name taken off deeds.

If you cant, you still have the right to live there untill youngest child is 18, he can't make you sell.

Be strong, it really will get better,

Hi to all you other lovely girls and guys, hope you all have a good day.

Hellxx

gerturdeanna

I feel rough this morning -don't think my liver can cope anymore!! Need MaccyD's for breakfast!!

Keeping_Motivated

Gert and SFH I'm so glad you both went out last night. Sorry you're hung over though Gert _pale_

KM x

poppyg_2

Awww SFH and Gert happy you went out on the town - shame no snogs gert but you never know maybe next time I have added you as a friend on facebook btw !!

I hope Kizzy is ok, I didn't come on here on Friday night so I missed the ex being a complete w a n k e r. How things change in the space of a couple of weeks. Glad to see she got some ace advice though from you lot!!

What happened to that newbie Mike posting by the way? He said he was going to offer some views then I didn't see anything else from him!! Bizarre

Anyway get some alka seltzer or a big bacon butty (or both) gert then you'll feel a whole lot better!!