Marriage over don't know where to start

judy_

kizzy my sweet, I have been reading this thread since it started...I have had my secret thoughts.....and....not dared post incase I got flamed...

My story is slightly different...was married for 17 years, my ex was a male tart, I always forgave him...thinking he loved me, and that my marriage would survive,.......until one day ....after maybe 5th affair...he was "making love to me"....I just suddenly realised and woke up...that he did not love me..if he did he would not of had an affair (or 5)..

I then turned the tables on him,,,I divorced him...he was gutted...he begged me to forgive him...I said no..you hurt me too much..and off I went...


7 years down the line...I am still single...as I do not trust men because of what happened...but...kizzy...I am very happy, I returned to work 16 months ago, am now in control of my life, and I do date men..I let them pay for my meal...if we do go to a second date...I pay for the meal....unless he is generous

I do one day wish to meet my soulmate...my time will come..

I will also admit, that my ex hubby, is like a down and out..and regrets the day he cheated on me..as I am now in control...

gerturdeanna

We have been chatting for ages!! Only just finished now!!! But I don't mind at all - not one little bit!! Everyone had been here for me, just like we have all been here for each other and I want everyone to remember that!! Most of you have got me on facebook - and if you haven't - why the hell not?!?!
We are all in this together and we will all get through this together and come out the other side better, stronger people!!

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks gert & everyone else for sharing your stories & giving me advice, I wish I could remember all that you said KM, I'll practise that so I can say it next time he's a git.

SuziQ

Keep strong Kizzy,keeoing motivated is spot on when saying he is deflecting his guilt on you-attack is best form of defence and all that. I also maybe think that your obvious continuing feelings for him maybe made him feel a bit arrogant 'woo hoo,2 women lusting after me!' (what an idiot!) but you have the satisfaction of knowing you tried everything to save your marriage. He hasn't got a life-he has a weak version happiness built on the heartbreak of his wife and children-and such happiness will never last, as it is built on quick sand. I really hope the moose breaks is heart. The feelings he has for her are superficial compared to what he had with you-many years of love support and genuine regard.One day he will wake up and realise he exchanged all of that-steak if you like, for a cheap little burger.

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks SuziQ going to try & get to sleep, I'm so tired & my eyes are stinging, head pounding, I've calmed down now, not suicidal anymore!!
I'm just so annoyed at myself for letting him see I still have feelings for him.
I told him it wouldn't last with the Moose, he said when it doesn't you can phone me up & laugh & say I told you so! I said I won't be laughing, you will have broken up your family for nothing.
I just wish I could get his cruel words out of my head
I can't believe he's changed into this monster, this is like a living nightmare

kizzykizzywizzy

Hi Everyone
Eventually got to sleep about 3am, have been up half an hour too, didn't sleep very well.
Will miss you all today & whilst I'm away, thanks for being there for me last night, you are all so good to me.
Going to make the most of the weekend, & say that he can't come wednesday & thursday to take kids for 1st day, he's never bothered to do it before, don't know what reaction that will get from him, or the kids, ( so this might change) we'll see, then he can see them Friday after work & possibly 1 day at the weekend. Then the next week I have no idea, trouble is, thi is a hard slog on your own, especially when I need a break really, so if he has them, it's a break for me, on the other hand, when I haven't got them I'm lonely.
Will definately have to sort a hobby/course/gym to get me out & busy
Have a good weekend x

Ellidee

Good to hear you sounding more positive hunny. Will be thinking of you. Take care XX

scottishfreebiehunter

Kizzy you keep strong as you are better than him they are all scumbags playing with our minds.

You and the kids have a good time at ATxxxxx and pay him nothing for the mortgage for now,he is entitled to keep a roof over kids heads.

And have to agree it is a nightmare

kizzykizzywizzy

Hi SFH, how does your hair look?

I'm not sure about mine today, next time I have it done, they will be able to get it lighter, also I expect it will fade, not brassy at all, perhaps just a little dull as medium brown with blonde highlights, I wanted to stand out a bit more. They did a good job getting the red out though I was in there 3 hours, but £115!!! I did think it might be £100 as I used to pay about £50 in the training school at another hairdressers. Next time should be abot £50, just for more highlights. Will leave it a couple of months, I think!
Eyes look like p holes in the snow today!

gerturdeanna

Hey guys!! We're back online!! Whoop!! Sorry I cant share any words of wisdom tonight, for one I'm not drunk yet!! and for 2 - I'm just on my way out to get drunk!! hehe!! Had my hair blowed today at the hairdressers and my little sis, whose my bestest mate in the whole world says it looks effing gorgeous!! I'm on the pull ladies, care to join my in your minds!! Will fill you in with all the gory details tomorrow!! hehe