Marriage over don't know where to start

gerturdeanna

How could I have been so blind and stupid to not have known it was going on since before xmas!! I'm getting myself tested tomorrow!!

scottishfreebiehunter

gerturdeanna wrote: »

How could I have been so blind and stupid to not have known it was going on since before xmas!! I'm getting myself tested tomorrow!!

I got myself done when at gyny for appointment,not heard anything so presume all okay

OberonSH

SFH - you still got it then!!! lol, enjoy the attention.

Kiz, just had a quick read back - you know, he knows where the chinks in your armour are, and hits them every time. He's lashing out becasue he hurts inside - happy people aren't tosswits to other people.

Okay, here's your list for the next week:

1) Make appointment with solicitor to find out where you stand on the house. He's already changing his mind, so get some solid help before he pulls some stupid stunt. One of my exs managed to get my lovely house off me, and moved his horrible old bag into it (although later found out she expected him to refit it to move her disabled brother in, and basically told him he would have to share the care with her, or else)

2) Change the locks, if not already done. Seriously - that house is now Chez Kiz, not his. He walked out, remember that! Legally he might still have a claim, but it might stop him getting the idea he can walk in. Symbolically you're locking him out your life. Note 'your' life, not the kids.

3) Practice being a lady about mooseface - he wants to see you cry and beg, and begging's not what Super-Kiz is about. She's welcome to that backwater punk. Might not be what your heart says, but time for Head to get a look-in now.

4) If not already sorted, hammer out set times he sees the kids. No-negotiable, not to be missed. Once things get to court, this will make things really a lot easier and quicker

5) Go through the house, pack up his stuff and tell him when to collect it. If not, start ebaying it to cover the cost of the solicitor. Have a really good clearout, room at a time. It'll help your head see the new life laid out ahead of you.

And lastly, don't forget that this is your new life. It might not have him in it, but the way he's being, do you really want someone like that around anyway. You're the wronged party, DO NOT let this man play ball with your feelings anymore. You now have the opportunity to start anew - sign up for a photography course, cake decorating, take up yoga, part time law degree - whatever fits in around the kids.

I would also advise staying away from any more family activities until things settle. It's not been that long since it all kicked off, and it's all still very raw. Give yourself some time. I know it's probably not what you're hoping for, but the situation is rapidly approaching unsalvageable, from an outsiders point of view. No point trying to sugar coat it - time for you to take matters into yuor own hands and show the lowlife son-of-a-snake what real women are made of.

We're all here for you, and gerti, and Scottie - you'll get through it. I thought the world was ending, but now I'm planning a move to the States. It gets easier with time.

Keeping_Motivated

Hi Gert, so sorry you've found that out, it must have been a real shock. You said what the hell do I do no, well I'm not sure but firstly is your source reliable so you definately have the correct facts? Then I guess its confronting him, but as you know by now he will probably lie his way out of it anyway...I suppose though the only consolation is to be armed with ALL the facts gives you more power?

I hope you manage to talk to him and he starts telling the truth for once! The very least you deserve now is the truth.

Good Luck
KM x

Keeping_Motivated

Hi SFH, lol at the guy texting you. You've got your head screwed on enough not to be interested but at least it makes life a little more interesting and them few minutes reading the text etc were a few less minutes spent thinking about OH which can only be a positive thing :T

KM x

Rikki

When you let the ex's walk in and out the house, play happy families when it suits, the main people you are confusing are the children.
Put them first; explain Mummy and Daddy are still friend's and love them very much but cannot live together any more.
You set the terms when he can see the children, protect them don't drag out their hopes when in your own mind you can already see the out come.

Don't lie to yourself and by your actions don't lie to the children.

scottishfreebiehunter

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Hi SFH, lol at the guy texting you. You've got your head screwed on enough not to be interested but at least it makes life a little more interesting and them few minutes reading the text etc were a few less minutes spent thinking about OH which can only be a positive thing :T

KM x

:eek::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:he is still texting me,nothing untoward etc,but it is amusing me,male species can be useful at times.
Thing is he is mega friendly with girl I know but she uses him for s e x lol :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
oh dear bad bad sfh winding him up lol
Oh for sure there will be no more relationships for me for a whiley

scottishfreebiehunter

Rikki wrote: »

When you let the ex's walk in and out the house, play happy families when it suits, the main people you are confusing are the children.
Put them first; explain Mummy and Daddy are still friend's and love them very much but cannot live together any more.
You set the terms when he can see the children, protect them don't drag out their hopes when in your own mind you can already see the out come.

Don't lie to yourself and by your actions don't lie to the children.

:Texactly

I said to mine in similiar sort of way,and for those who do get back together than thats cool though at least kids not expecting it everytime they are together

Rikki

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

:eek::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:he is still texting me,nothing untoward etc,but it is amusing me,male species can be useful at times.
Thing is he is mega friendly with girl I know but she uses him for s e x lol :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
oh dear bad bad sfh winding him up lol
Oh for sure there will be no more relationships for me for a whiley

:think: You don't think he's looking for another women to use him too?

Pinkylouloubell

Hello everyone,

Thought Id send you some virtual meds for your hangovers.

Hope you are all OK.

Kizzy, I hope you had a good time at AT (as good as can be anyway).
Hunny please dont let him treat you like poo, he is an a r s e.
You are soooo much better than him, string you along. gggggrrrrrrrrrr I want to scream at him.
He has made his decision, but seems to backtrack at times.
Like a child at his first day at school, still comes running back to see if mummy is still there.

Gert- (pinky rubs Gerts head)
hope you HO goes quick..oh and thanx for the add on fb.

SFH- Keep strong for yourself as well as you boy.

Am totally peed with the weather today, you can see the moisture in the air, its so uncomfortable.
Been ironing and changing beds and feel as sticky as anything!

Anyway, hope you all have a good day.

Love n hugs to all the girlies!

xx