Marriage over don't know where to start

kizzykizzywizzy

Night Gert hi SFH, good for you show him you don't need him!

Keeping_Motivated

Kizzy thats sounds so positive, completely right you do not have to put up with the grumpiness now so thats a big plus.
And did no one tell the fool that you have to earn respect and the kids have obviously lost all their respect for him now so he will have to earn it back, loving them is not enough they need input and attention and a role model.

Do you think he even realises how much all this has really affected the kids?

KM x

scottishfreebiehunter

Well done you Kizzy :TIt is going to hurt us like hell but I am trying to do what is best for ds and then me and hopefully we will all turn a corner soon
It is hard when he comes to see him but tonight he has so little time on phone for him and ds said whats the point

beanielou

kizzy~glad you are feeling so positive today.(& hopefully tomorrow as well!)

Buttercup.x

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

he has said I'm stupid useless & pathetic, all in the heat of the argument, but it really hurts

Kizzy i havent spoken to you on here before, but i thought i would jump in when i read part of your posted quoted above, I grew up with my mum and dad constantly arguing ( i know you said you and your OH Argued sometimes and not always) but i heard comments being made to my mum and i remember this even now even though i was only aged four up until aged 8, My dad making comments like your stupid, Dumb, waste of space, Even called her a lesbian for having a close female friend that is like a sister to her.

I almost cried when i read your message (daft i know considering this is the first post of yours i have ever read) because he needs to understand you have done everything whilst he has been away, looked after both of your children kept the house standing and constantly looked forward to seeing him again,

for him to come home and act so ungrateful and not even have the decency to sit down and tell you what brought these feelings and thoughts on is damn right rude.:(

I hope i dont offend you or anyone with this..

good luck i hope you can sort every thing out. :grouphug:

Keeping_Motivated

Kizzy has he always blown hot and cold like this? I mean Buttercup just reminded me of some of the nasty things he has said, then he can switch and you can all have a lovely day like you did on Sunday and he is good fun, then he was different again when he clumsily told you in front of DD that there was no chance of him changing his mind then tonight he was grumpy? If you are honest with yourself, thinking back to before the secondment, did he blow hot and cold then too and was he grumpy with the kids?

dotstar24

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Kizzy has he always blown hot and cold like this? I mean Buttercup just reminded me of some of the nasty things he has said, then he can switch and you can all have a lovely day like you did on Sunday and he is good fun, then he was different again when he clumsily told you in front of DD that there was no chance of him changing his mind then tonight he was grumpy? If you are honest with yourself, thinking back to before the sabatical, did he blow hot and cold then too and was he grumpy with the kids?

the guy sounds like a f-ing a-hole. sorry but he needs to grow up.

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks Buttercup, yes I have done EVERYTHING, it felt like nobody noticed , so when he came back I said to him, you've never said how well I did on my own looking after everything & he Patted me on the back & right in my face sarcastically he said WELL DONE!
All of this was so completely out of character, I knew there was something up.
Possibly he realises he's affected the kids, but thinks they'll get over it.
He only thinks of HIM these days.
Going out for a lovely pub lunch with my friends tomorrow & kids of course, has a great garden, so they can play.
Thursday , bl$$dy forms & ex looking after kids, so will probably take just that bit longer & buy myself something nice to wear:p as all my jeans etc all bought for holiday are too big! won't buy anything expensive as weight bound to go up again & soon, ate loads today;) & besides stomach being in knots whilst he was here being moany, have not felt nervy at all.
Friday Hair
Saturday - haven't decided yet
Sunday A T with Grumpy:o

Told MIL today that I am moving on, I don't want the new **** & unlikely to get the old one back, I won't be second best & won't have my children
treated the way he has been. She said don't be too hasty!!
I said he's made it a lot easier by being so horrible.
Hope the message gets passed on

kizzykizzywizzy

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Kizzy has he always blown hot and cold like this? I mean Buttercup just reminded me of some of the nasty things he has said, then he can switch and you can all have a lovely day like you did on Sunday and he is good fun, then he was different again when he clumsily told you in front of DD that there was no chance of him changing his mind then tonight he was grumpy? If you are honest with yourself, thinking back to before the sabatical, did he blow hot and cold then too and was he grumpy with the kids?

I don't know, I never really noticed it, only since he went away, but I thought it was because the kids went daft when he was first back & he wasn't used to the noise & it is odd having him back after a few weeks away & you sort of don't feel right, you just get used to each other & then they are gone again! ( this is before the moose was on the scene )
He is a bit of a doom & gloom merchant sometimes too, I on the other hand try to be positive, as you may of noticed I try to see the best in everyone.........more fool me

Buttercup.x

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Possibly he realises he's affected the kids, but thinks they'll get over it.

he needs to realize they just wont get over it i don't know how wary of the situation your children are or if he is arsey with you in front of them?! but i was picking up on all these things from the age of four up until 8 when my mum had, had enough of his bullying, name calling and just damn right being a ****. i am 25 now with children of my own. and even now i still remember everything he said to her, He even said a few horrid things to me about my mum too.

if he is that much of an ****hole then you and your children are much better of without him x