Marriage over don't know where to start

star-X_2

Im really sorry but ive just scrolled through the last page, its hurtful just trying to read it. Come on girls, sort it out, you arent doormats. I know its extreme but i kicked mine out on xmas day after a load of !!!!!, i waited until the kids have gone to bed obv. COME ON, YOU ARE WORTH SOOOO MUCH MOREEE, it was 4 years ago i did this, and lo and behold, yet again at the weekend we had the same old argument, dont waste your time thinking it will be ok, it wont, no matter how much you think youll be able to forget and forgive, i swear you wont, it will eat away, again, no matter how much you think you can cope with it, it will destroy you. im now having to go through the ' i want you to leave', im getting the, to put the story short, its your fault, if you hadnt done this, this was mean to be my best friend too, boy didnt i kick right off, warning to everyone, i got arrested,and no, i didnt get enough revenge, i never got charged though luckily. It eats you up no mater what you think, 4 years later im in exactly the same situation thought wise, it is not good, i so wish id ended it then, as its proving a nightmare to try and end it now, obv hethinks he did no wrong, its all my fault!!!! Hes forgotton the reasons of then in the first place. Any one whos trying to end it now, chuck your phone and turn it off, change your land line number, trust me, from experience, its sooo much easier, any time he phones put it down. I have 3 kids by him, he didnt think of them then, you need your own time hard as it my sound, just turn y our phone off, unplug it, if only for a couple of days, trust me, y oull soon see if he wants youxxxxx

star-X_2

Lifes stilla s !!!!! as it was, dotn let suicide attemps cloud your judgement, if only theyd tried that hard to keep us, treat me as a lesson to not waste any more time on waste of love lives, we are going through a nightmare, if he had succeded it would all be over by now and i wouldnt be questionin gmyself!! Sorry i sound like im an a hole. Good luck everyone xxx

tesuhoha

kizzy

I think you should listen to what Rikki in particular is saying to you because I think that deep down you are deluding yourself and despite what you say, you have hopes about what is going to happen on this trip with him. You are still hanging on to every word he says. You need to knock him off that pedestal right away. He is most likely going to let you down again as he has done before and you will come home feeling disappointed. Any outing with him is a bad idea. As Rikki says, you're trying to play happy families when he has already ended it. If that's what he wants then you should let him have it and all the consequences that go with it. You're finding it almost impossible to let go of him but let go of him you must.

I think you need to develop some pride and self respect. The other night you offered yourself to him and even though the other woman is not around, he did not want you. You need to be able to feel good about yourself and if you try to sleep with him again and he spurns your advances you are going to feel cheap. If he really wants you then believe me he will chase you. Men are selfish creatures and they go for what they want. Please don't fool yourself that you can be friendly in this way with a marriage break up because when your hopes are finally gone it will turn to bitterness, especially if you have given yourself to him. You will feel dirty and cheap. Please don't allow him to belittle you in this way. He has betrayed you and your children in the most cruel way and has told you he loves another woman. Treat him with the contempt he deserves. Look after yourself, girl. You need to build some armour around yourself.

And for G's sake, don't go in for the bonus night, whatever that is. What would you be trying to prove, that you're desperate for him?. He knows the score and he knows why you want him and its not to show him what he's missing. He's playing you like a violin. I'm sorry also if I'm being nasty but I feel that someone needs to spell it out to you before you get more hurt. Be inaccessible to him and impossible to get at all times, a good idea if he wants you and infinitely preferable if he doesn't - the way to keep your self respect.

gerturdeanna

Hope everyone is feeling good and refreshed today - I know I am after 11 hours sleep and for once the kids didn't wakre up at 6am!! Bonus!!
Only 2 more days with OH here, Thursday he has a conference up north and then Fri, he is down south for the wedding, back on Sunday and then he will be moving out!! Yipee!! Whoop!! Jump for joy (and also cry like hell!!!)
When asked about it last night, he said yeah, sometime next week - well no, I'm sorry but the first day he is back, he is gone!! Sort your head out mate, let me get on with mine and kiddies lives!! SO EXCITED!!! and sad at the same time, next week will be really hard for me so will probably be on here all the time!! I may even whilst he's away over the weekend, pack his suitcase for him - show him I mean business!!

BartGirl

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

I've just rung his Sister in Australia, I was on there for over 20 mins - I'm so scared about my phone bill:eek: she said he's crazy, sounds depressed & mixed up.
Glad you all are doing OK
Hope it goes well at hospital SFH.

I am still following your thread - hang in there girlies!

Kizzy if you want to call abroad again pls use the international call checker on this site - has saved me a fortune!

kizzykizzywizzy

Morning Gert, glad you had a good sleep, I did too.
It will be so much easier for you once he's gone, you will be able to relax more.
I don't come on here at all when he's around & miss my buddies & also can't really talk toanyone on the phone whilst he's here, so my support network dissapears & I feel vunerable.
Also it will give yours chance to see what the hell is doing!

Thanks Bartgirl, I should have done that, just I saw the time & thought, I'd better ring before I forget & it's the middle of the night or something.

Better get the kids breakfast & get showered, going to a friends today, the kids go to school together, also going to see if I can get in to have my hair done, once it's open - doing it for me!! Also if I'm going to be "out on the prowl":p it doesn't look too hot with huge black roots!!

tesuhoha

kizzy

Ive just come on here very quickly before I go to work because I was thinking about you. I was thinking of an old saying, you've probably heard it, and I think its very wise and true and applies in this instance.

If you love someone and are unsure of them, then you should let them go, allow them their freedom. If that person loves you then they will come back to you. If they do not come back, then it was never meant to be and better that you released them.

Its time to let him go, kizzy.

gerturdeanna

tesuhoha wrote: »

kizzy



If you love someone and are unsure of them, then you should let them go, allow them their freedom. If that person loves you then they will come back to you. If they do not come back, then it was never meant to be and better that you released them.

Exactly what I'm doing - cheers Tesuhoha

kassytbag

Morning all - walk yesterday was good except near the end my oh rang and like a fool i answered it - he was ranting and raving about now having to live in a tiny flat, had no money would have to work forever to sort it all out and how i am ok cos im still in the house and the kids are ok with me - it just completley knocked me down again - i am on anti depressants and tranquilisers (diazepam) at the mo and when he goes off on one it just sends me down again - i couldnt sleep last night - when i did i woke at 5am and just for a second i felt warm and alright and then it hit me that it was really over andi was alone - cant stop crying and shaking - have to go to cab to sort out benefits and take daughter to get stuff for uni - can hardly put one foot in front of other - feel like is there any point in suffering all this pain

kizzykizzywizzy

Kassy, I can't believe he's ringing you up moaning about the situation HE is in after HIM making the decision to cheat on you.
What about YOU?, you had no choice in this matter, horrible self centered man, well I'm glad he's unhappy, you should be too, so rather than you were thinking of him all cosied up in his flat, he actually feels cooped up! & I expect the excitement has gone from his new relationship, now the cat's out of the bag.
Don't waste another moment thinking about him, just do what's best for you & your children.
Tes, I've let him go a couple of times now, then he started sending conflicting signals again. This time I'm going to let him go & not look out for any signals etc.