Marriage over don't know where to start

gerturdeanna

Went to the day out with the kids and it was SH!TE!!!
It was a competitio win and I was tld the tickets would be waiting at the booking wndow and I had to be there at 10am. No sign of my tickets, no-one even knew of the compeition going on - train didn't leave till 10:45!! When we got to the park where the picnic was going on, there was no picnic just a few bouncy castles and stuff -either I was blind today (but mum couldn't see anything either) or I was told wrong info!! Am writing a complaint later!! grrr
Just got back and within 2 mins, he's out the door saying he's of to the pub and will be back in an hour - the pub he is going to is 20mins away so can't see him being back in an hour - and why wait until we got home - why not go out already when the kids weren't here - cos they are upset know cos they haven't seen Daddy all day and want to tell him eveything they've done!! grrrr!! T0$$ER!!

Buffythedebtslayer

SuziQ wrote: »

Kizzy all I can say at this point is,it is very easy to over-analyse everything they do/say in these situations,when in fact all they are doing is opening their mouth and stuff is said without thought-I know because I have been through this too remember,this is my second time! Whilst you are reading all sorts of stuff into what he is doing and saying,he has his eyes fixed on his new future with the moose and is really just hoping to keep things 'easy' with you-partly for the kids ,yes,but also as it makes it so much easier for him. He probably doesn't have the oppurtuity to be with her at the moment-she may not even have sorted out the mess with her own husband so they may be agreeing to stay apart until that is sorted. He may not even be that bothered about her but it is his key out of his life with you.

I had all the promises re the house etc the first time-fine until the solicitors got involved,when my first ex got extremely nasty-with my second he is still blowing hot and cold and I have no idea what will happen as he is not the person I thought I knew anymore.

I really feel it would be such a retrograde step for any of you lovely ladies to get intimate with these scum bags again-just one more little bit of power over you,and a friend of mine was told she was 'desperate' etc after one of those such encounters-it came out in every subsequent row they had and was also shared amongst our group of friends. Although the friends (including me!) condemmned him for his indiscretion it was so humiliating for her.

You all need to get realistic about all of this,the guys have moved on in their heads and whilst they may use you and the situation whilst it suits them,and intimacy or niceness will be denied vehemently to their new partners.

Just be very very careful.

Perhaps I'm an old cynic,but apart from my own experience I have seen so much grief amongst friends and family over the years.


I have removed my earlier post here as I would hate anyone who knows her to recognise her from it.
THESE SCUMBAGS ARE JUST NOT WORTH IT!

I agree completely with the above.

I don't believe in bonus night, who for? he will know he can "get it" when ever he wants and you will quite possibly end up feeling used, because they will just go back to their s***. And as suziQ says its something that can be used against you.

I guess I just don't see the point in mudding the waters. I am very old fashioned (frigid!) when it comes to that sort of thing. Its special and personal and not to be shared with some one who has such little respect for you and who has hurt you and your kids so much.

I am sorry if I am out of line - ultimately its now of my business and never having been married I guess I don't know what it is like. I just want so badly for you all to protect yourselves from these horrible men.

xxx

Keeping_Motivated

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I
I am sorry if I am out of line - ultimately its now of my business and never having been married I guess I don't know what it is like. I just want so badly for you all to protect yourselves from these horrible men.

xxx

Hi Buffet

I can't speak for the girls but I personally do not think you are out of line AT ALL. Every single breakup is unique even if there are some similarites of cheating running through and I think that this thread should be used to take the different opinions/advice and be used by whoever thinks they may help them to move forward or to give them insight into any blindspots they may have so I think its important we all post what we really think. People can choose to take the advice or not but the difference of opinion I think will help see all angles.

Also as for not being married that makes no difference you still know what the awful pain of a break up is.

KM x

Gloomy_Past_Bright_Future

Kizzy,

Test the water for his "reasons" for staying two nights in a hotel..

Say.... How about you just go with the kids??, enjoy some quality time

See how he reacts!

kizzykizzywizzy

Just got back from the BBQ, I didn't know anyone, so although I'm chatty felt a bit odd.
Met a nice bloke there, but although his first words to me were, I'm not married to **** (host ) she's just got me doing the BBQ & was really nice, I couldn't tell whether he was married or not! No ring.
He said I looked younger than 38:D like him already, & he's 38 too with 2 very grown up children.
Didn't want to ask host, just in case he was & then she'd think I was after him!
Didn't stay too long, still got the house to do, can't be bothered, but better get on with it in a minute.
Not a bad first outing, by the way, he started talking to me, not the other way around, good for the old ego ( though he could just have been being friendly )

GeorgeUK

What's wrong with being friendly? You're just four letters away from being overfriendly

Fidget21

Not a bad first outing, by the way, he started talking to me, not the other way around, good for the old ego ( though he could just have been being friendly )

Yes, but he wouldn't have done this if you looked like an unapproachable hippopotodog would he??

gerturdeanna

Bet he wouldn't have wanted to speak to the moose!! You obviously are attractive and have a good personality!!

Suprise, suprise - he's not home yet - don't know if I should text him and see what he is playing at??!

scottishfreebiehunter

:eek::eek::eek:OMFG my son has just had one massive massive tantrum and going mental,he was never like this before and I do not know what to do ,think I am going to have a heart attack after trying to calm him down

Fidget21

SFH

Rather than try and calm him down, can you help him let it all out. He's been through a lot recently and might need to vent. Question him on what he's feeling and why..

BTW no expert on kids, but it's what I do when hubby throws a tantrum!!