Marriage over don't know where to start

scottishfreebiehunter

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

i did Spaniel, I said you can always have a shower here:rotfl:
Mind you bathroom downstairs in our house, live in Victorian House.

Ok he's phoned, has found a travelodge 5 miles away from Alton towers, so I have booked it! We are staying for 2 nights Sunday & Monday :eek:

Nervous about it now, have told the kids they are really excited.

Kizzy do what is right for you,though if it does go further and you want that,make it clear it has to be on youre terms.
Personally I think he is trying very hard and do not think it is all for the kids(just my opinion)
I am going to Australia probably end of September ,very nervous and excited but it is what I need to do and when I come home things will be clearer I hope(thank goodness for kind mummy etc:o:rotfl:)

Oh and Chip we like the Welsh:rotfl:

Gerti you floozy you,hope you had a good timexxxxxxx

Kassy hope you are feeling better today !and anyone else going through thoughts

Chip_Hazard

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

Oh and Chip we like the Welsh:rotfl:

Welsh? :eek: ...I'm half-Scottish to be honest, grandparents were from Elgin and my surname is very Scottish.

I live near Wales ( about 15 miles ) so maybe that's where you got it from....

Fidget21

Ok he's phoned, has found a travelodge 5 miles away from Alton towers, so I have booked it! We are staying for 2 nights Sunday & Monday

Have you booked two seperate rooms? Or one room that contains a double bed? Just interested in the sleeping arrangements here!!

Is he going to tell the moose?

scottishfreebiehunter

Thought you were in Bristol

Keeping_Motivated

kassytbag wrote: »

Morning all - im taking the kids out for a good long walk with some friends dogs this afternoon - oh wants to come round tonight to try to talk to kids even tho they dont want anything to do with him as they say he doesnt seem to understand what hes done wrong - any ideas?

Hi Kassy

Personally, although I it will be hard, I would leave them to it and let him talk to them alone. I wouldn't give him or them in the future any excuse to turn this on you and say you poisoned their minds, which I am sure he would love so he can avoid blaming himself. That way if you go in another room he can't blame anyone but HIM for his actions and the situation with his children. Do you see what I mean? Don't give him any amo to push the blame on you for his children not wanting anything to do with him. The only person to blame is HIM and the more you leave him to it the less he can project that blame on you.

Hope you enjoy your walk. Thats your positve progress for today getting out with the children and a friend and getting fresh air.

KM x

Chip_Hazard

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

Thought you were in Bristol

I am but Bristol is in England. :beer:

scottishfreebiehunter

Chip_Hazard wrote: »

I am but Bristol is in England. :beer:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::odoh thought was South Wales


anyway off to hospital appointment cannot wait:rolleyes:

Morglin

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Ok I know this isn't the relationships board, but this is where I post & feel at home, so hope you can all help me.
I have been happily married ( or so I thought) for 13 years to my DH who I've been with for nearly 21 years, since I was 17 & he was 18
He got a secondment away from home to earn extra money to pay off our 20k debt ( which we have & more ) & after not seeing him for 4 & a half months myself & the 2 children ( 7 & 5 ) were thrilled to see him, but he was quite cold & unaffectionate towards me, where I just wanted to hug him to death!!! as I missed him so much. Other than that he wasn't too bad, but not his usual self, really miserable. No hint of this whilst he was away, emails saying he loved me & missed me.
I thought he might have cheated, but deep down, I didn't think he would., he assures me he hasn't & I believe him.
He told me on my birthday, of all days that he loves me, but is no longer in love with me. Life should be wonderful now, we have 2 lovely children a nice house, no debt, a bit of money in savings & a reasonable amount of money coming in each month( enough to get by). I only work part time to fit in with school.
The thing is, we don't want to make this any worse than it is, & are still going on holiday as a family ( fingers crossed he'll be ok ) I desperately need a holiday as his secondment was 18 months & within that time my mum died, my dad has became a alcoholic due to this & is in fact in hospital at the moment, my sister's marriage has also broken up, so lots going on & looking after the kids, my 94 yr old grandmother & re-mortgaged the house, started a job, sorted the debts, lived on next to nothing to get savings for our future.
So - he has said he wants me to have the house, the re-mortgage doesn't go through til october & we need to stick to that, because otherwise it will go up really high, it's only fixed for 2 years though, so may be a problem to remortgage after then, if we are not together?? I only earn £2k per annum as a dinner lady, he says he will pay the mortgage & bills & leave me the car, in fact everything. Very nice of him, but I don't know how he will be able to afford this & get a place for himself. How much do people charge lodgers or for bedsits in the south? he won't be able to afford much more.
Also I just don't know anything about divorce how much it costs, where to start, we really don't want to give the small amount we have in savings to a solicitor, as things will be tight & I don't want the children to have to go without yet again.
Sorry to waffle, I'm just pointing out practicalities here, not my emotions, I'm devastated, so if I sound hard I'm not.
I will also feel terrible that he will have an awful life on his own, obviously he can see the children whenever, & we've even spoken about going on days out together as this would be nice for them.
Just don't know where to start, things like wills etc.
To be honest this is all too much for me to work out at the moment, help someone

If he does leave, then get yourself a solicitor - you'll get Legal Aid:

http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk/en/legalaid/calculator.jsp

The Benefits Agency and the Revenue will advise on other things you may be entitled to:

http://www.taxcredits.inlandrevenue.gov.uk/HomeNew.aspx

http://www.dwp.gov.uk/lifeevent/famchild/

What he says he will pay for now may be very different 6 months down the line, and you need to protect the house for you and your children.

My marriage broke up after 30+ years, and although it's difficult, you do come out the other side - but you need to get professional advice.

Take care.

Lin

Keeping_Motivated

SFH your positive progress for the day is booking Australia, how great!

Kizzy your positive progress for the day is going to a BBQ without him and getting on with socialisng... Big step.. Well done.

Gert your positive progress for the day is still taking the kids on a Steam Train regardless of a hangover!! Poor you.

SFH I think it was you that suggested a positive step a day so I've started you off on day 1, keep it up girls.

scottishfreebiehunter

Oh and good for you kassyxxx


oh and my positive for today is him telling us would buy a tv for us and me using his bankcard to buy it:rotfl:will not happen much longer as only have it to midweek
Telly was gubbed:eek: