Marriage over don't know where to start

kizzykizzywizzy

I thought I just replied on here!
Don't know where it went!
Going to blow Chip out I'm afraid!!! I'm afraid it wouldn't be a very MSE relashionship - & love wouldn't conquer the petrol costs:rotfl: Poor Chip thought he had 3 ladies fighting over him, but we're all too tight:rotfl:
I did say on my other response that Legoland & Windsor doesn't sound quite as good an idea, when you're not drinking a vat of wine.
Need to get on, DS is awake DD is still snoring away!
BBQ this pm if weather OK & friends coming tonight, so at least I won't be lonely.
Just had a call from my Dad though my Nan's really ill, so possibly I'll be going around there to wait for the doctor with her.
Sis is getting a bit better, but still not well, so won't be able to help & Dad still drinking, so he can't help either, Brother is working away, so looks like this is down to me!

Chip_Hazard

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Going to blow Chip out I'm afraid!!!

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Oh, I see. I think I had the wrong end of the stick there for a moment....:rotfl:

Keeping_Motivated

Chip

kizzykizzywizzy

I still love you Chip I'm just not in love with you
That's how the old saying goes isn't it:rotfl:

Pollycat

I hope all you ladies (& Chip) are OK this morning.

Kizzy
I think you're doing the right thing about going to the CAB with your CTC forms, I helped my sis & BIL with theirs and it's a nightmare.

When you get to the point of thinking about divorce, I would'nt do a DIY one i.e. without involving solicitors.
My new (well, almost 20 years married now) did that with his ex and it worked fine because there were no kids involved, she wasn't going to claim maintenance and they'd sold the house and split the money.
I think in your situation you'd need proper legal advice.

I hope you have an enjoyable few days, it sounds like you had a good day yesterday with OH but please don't get your hopes up that he may change his mind.
He's already hurt you 3 times:
1. when he told you it was over but there was nobody else involved
2. when he admitted there WAS someone else
3. when he allowed you to think that there was a chance to get back together but all along he was still seeing the moose.

TBH, he sounds a bit duplicious (although of course I don't know him other than what you've shared with us).
Like everyone else, I'd just hate you to get hurt again.

Keeping_Motivated

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

I still love you Chip I'm just not in love with you
That's how the old saying goes isn't it:rotfl:

Well you've not lost one of the most important things throughout this, your sense of humour :T

kizzykizzywizzy

Pollycat you're right, I'm not getting my hopes up.
I just can't stop loving him overnight though.
I won't be doing a DIY divorce, I should get legal aid & I don't want to make any mistakes, because my children's future is a stake here too.
We had a quick talk yesterday about the house etc & he's saying that when I sell the house, which he is saying, I don't have to do within any time scale, or buy him out, he would like to split his equity with the kids, so they have got a bit of money behind them.
All this sounds good at the moment, but we all know how things change, I also said, your Solicitor won't let you pay as much as you are saying you will, he said it's what I want to do.

Keeping_Motivated

Kizzy if you can do it this way ie spending days together with the kids, laughing, and the kids seeing you can get along then the less damage that will be done to ALL of you. That is of course if the children understand that it does not mean anything more than friends and making them happy, no mixed messages or they will get more hurt. And you already know you will get more hurt so I won't go on about that.

I truly believe it can be done this way, nicely, amicably and still be friends so I agree with what you are doing (as long as you protect your heart). It is VERY rare and I think thats why people are a little sceptical/wary of it but I have seen it done with someone I know so I know it happens, and I sincerely hope that it continues this way for you because if you have to hurt why not hurt while keeping it amicable for the kids (if that makes sense?).

KM x

Edit to say the irrational part of me thinks he does NOT deserve it this way its way to easy for him and he deserves to be ounished however this is not about him this is about you and the kids and you have the dignity to realise that so well done you. xx

elona

Kizzy

It will all sound very amicable till the moose starts "pulling his strings".

Do you really think that if she leaves her husband to live with yours that she will want to live with his sister or mum?

Can you really see her saying "Of course your children come first" "I will pay all the bills and treat us to nice meals and holidays etc!"

Don't forget he was telling you he loved you while he was carrying on with her.

He is very good at telling people what they want to hear -it does not mean that he means a word of it.

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks KM, I will really try not to get hurt yet again!
It would be nice if it did work out this way, time will tell.

Yes I've said to him that the moose won't like it & he's said my children come first & if anyone doesn't like it tough!
Which leads me to believe, he can't love her that much - no idea what's going on there, all very very strange.

Hope she likes spending Xmas day on her own!