Marriage over don't know where to start

kassytbag

reading all these lovely messages and being able to talk to people going through the same thing - i have just been downstairs made a cup of tea and realised that for the first time in eight weeks im not shaking or checking my phone in case he has rung - i cant beleive how nice you guys all are - i have felt so low - nearly took an overdose one night but i couldnt do that to my girls - i have been so desperate for him to come back even though he has been so horrible - threatened in front of kids to put house on the market that day - has also told me he will devalue his business so i get next to nothing - and still i wanted him back - i need to get smart now and i think the post about being happy is the best revenge is so right - i just want to stop hurting and start to move on - i thank god i found this forum tonight!!!!!

kassytbag

sfh you are not silly - i keep thinking back to what a wonderful caring man my husband was - a great dad too - i was so proud he was my husband and now i feel i have thrown it away - he says my depression was what drove him away - i keep thinking i have lost the best man i could ever have found - my soulmate - but there has to be life after that doesnt there? if they were our soulmates they couldnt do this to us - we deserve better

bank_of_slate

kassy, he doesn't deserve you or the girls!
What goes around comes around!
There's lots of great support on this forum for all who need it!
...Linda xx

kassytbag

Linda you are so right - i keep praying what goes around does come around - mind you the message i left on her answerphone was so graphic that to put it mildly i dont think oral sex will ever be an option for them lol - i was drunk when i phoned and ranted on about b/j's and how he loved them - cant beleive it of myself as i really am not normally that sort of person!!! i just hope the sex is crap!!!!!!

bank_of_slate

kassytbag wrote: »

Linda you are so right - i keep praying what goes around does come around - mind you the message i left on her answerphone was so graphic that to put it mildly i dont think oral sex will ever be an option for them lol - i was drunk when i phoned and ranted on about b/j's and how he loved them - cant beleive it of myself as i really am not normally that sort of person!!! i just hope the sex is crap!!!!!!

Should've bitten it off!
...Linda xx

kassytbag

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: I wish i had thought of that at the time!!!!!!!!!! - you know when we went on holiday and i didnt know about the other woman he even made love to me one night - said it would 'comfort me' - what a stupid cow i was - would never make the same mistake again - i always feel like a weak needy person who isnt good enough to be loved - i really need to work on that - i have been to relate four times (alone - he says he doesnt need any counselling) and it is helping - must get to cab next week and see if there are any benefits i can claim to help out as he hasnt given me a penny so far and i am living on my overdraft

greeniegirl

kassytbag wrote: »

sfh you are not silly - i keep thinking back to what a wonderful caring man my husband was - a great dad too - i was so proud he was my husband and now i feel i have thrown it away - he says my depression was what drove him away - i keep thinking i have lost the best man i could ever have found - my soulmate - but there has to be life after that doesnt there? if they were our soulmates they couldnt do this to us - we deserve better

hi kassy
what a cruel b****rd!! i can't believe he said that to you about your depression.. people who genuinely love others love them even more when they're in trouble or having a hard time. Don't take the things he said to you onboard. Those remarks say more about him than you.

why not get out a page and write down all the annoying things about him,whether big or small and all the horrible things he said. Then everytime you feel bad look at it and it might make you smile to think you'll never have to put up with that again. however bad you feel now, you'd feel worse if you were with him listening to that kind of abuse every day.

course there is life after all this..think how you want to feel in six months time and keep working towards it bit by bit.good luck

bank_of_slate

greeniegirl wrote: »

hi kassy
what a cruel b****rd!! i can't believe he said that to you about your depression.. people who genuinely love others love them even more when they're in trouble or having a hard time. Don't take the things he said to you onboard. Those remarks say more about him than you.

why not get out a page and write down all the annoying things about him,whether big or small and all the horrible things he said. Then everytime you feel bad look at it and it might make you smile to think you'll never have to put up with that again. however bad you feel now, you'd feel worse if you were with him listening to that kind of abuse every day.

course there is life after all this..think how you want to feel in six months time and keep working towards it bit by bit.good luck

Allow me to start this list off for you:

1) breathing

...Linda xx

Keeping_Motivated

I think they pass blame and criticise to ease their own conscience otherwise they would have to admit what selfish, cruel, heartless people they are which I guess is hard to face. So do not allow them to blame you, keep bouncing it straight back, their guilt, their actions, their problem! I truly believe guilt lasts longer than any pain, onve you have moved on and the pain has gone they will still have to face their children all their lives knowing how much they once hurt them!!

KM x

Keeping_Motivated

Kassy re the benefits, there is a Benefits Board on the Forum maybe you could post your money situation on there and see if they can help you work out what you may be entitled to?