Marriage over don't know where to start

Gloomy_Past_Bright_Future

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

He's just text me to say short circuit is on later as DD loves that film, I promise I won't reply to that one!!;)

WELL DONE!:T

He will probably send another one later, or early tomorrow morning, and then requesting delivery reports, just to make sure you receive them, but IGNORE THEM!

kizzykizzywizzy

I know Greeniegirl, it's a bit stupid, but he's had me stringing along waiting for his texts, let him see how it feels!
He wouldn't dare not answer the phone of texts, it could be something important about the kids

elona

I have the "It's called a breakup because it's broken" book as well.

I saw it in a charity shop few weeks ago and think it might be needed by a DD at some point.

Will leave it casually lying about so anyone who wants to can just pick it up and not have to say anything.

scottishfreebiehunter

Gert have a good nightxxxxxxxxx


well went to footie got beat again great but got me out,yes should be saving money but for now a bit of sanity once a week is keeping me going,my family have not came near though have friends in England calling me every day and the lovely Kizzy to talk to.

Yes Kizzy this is the hardest thing when people are gobsmacked at what has happened
Off to quickly make some tacos back later

Buffythedebtslayer

Evening, had computer troubles, been working it too hard obviously

Linda - I am so sorry hon, thats just awful. and it does put things into perspective. take care honxxxx

Kizzy, you are doing good my love crack on xxxxxxx

Gert, I can't decide whether I hope he got arrested or arrived to take the kids out. xxx

SFH- enjoy the tacos and sorry about the football, still good to get out

hugs for everyonexxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

kassytbag

Hi im so sorry to hear of your problems but i would like you to know i am going through virtually exactly the same thing - my OH has been really stressed out for the last twelve months - he is a partner in a firm of accountants and has moved offices and had to take on huge mortgage to fund move - i put his moodiness down to that stress - eight weeks ago he announced he no longer loved me and didnt want the life we had anymore - we have two daughters 18 and 14 - he moved out into hotel - we cant afford this!!!!! to cut a long story short i found out 10 days ago he has been seeing the female partner in his firm and he tells me now they are so in love and his feelings are so deep he cant beleive it - he also tells me that he hasnt loved me for ages - news to me!!! i am totally devestated - on antidepressants and diazepam - he has now rented a two bed flat for him and her and is furnishing it - we just dont have the money for this and it is scaring me to death - i have suffered from depression because of our previous money worries and dont work a the moment because i am so nervy and edgy i cant get thru interviews - i am lucky because i have a friend who is a solicitor - i am being charged £1000 fixed fee which can be claimed back thru legal aid and my husband - as for the holiday my oh came away for two wks we had already booked - it was a disaster as he was on the phone to 'laura' the whole two weeks -me and the kids were totally peed off by the end of it - i really suggest that you go alone with the kids - please please think about it i know it will be hard but we dont feel like we have had a break at all - pm me if you want to talk - you are not alone!!!

Keeping_Motivated

Hi Kassy, so sorry you are going through this too.

What amazes me the most about these men is the TOTAL lack of respect which seems 'almost' worse than the affair. After so many years with their wives and family if they truly don't 'mean' to fall in love with another woman then surely the VERY LEAST they can do is make the shock easier ie when he was on holiday with you Kassy could he not even have the respect not to obviously be on the phone all the time? God this just rubs salt in the wound!! Do they have to be nasty and selfish too is an affair not enough to put the women, they have built lives and futures with, through. Cruel.

KM x

kassytbag

i know the whole phone and blackberry business just finished me off - also he took the kids to one side and told them i was a nutter for being so suspicious and that nothing was going on - now neither of them are speaking to him because they cant beleive he lied to their faces - it is just like he is a different person in the same body - i have built my life around him and the kids for the last 20 years - i loved him so much - still do - how can they just throw all that away? he has said such cruel things about how much he loves her and that i am dead to him and yet before this he was the nicest kindest man you could meet - i feel so alone and devestated - my eldest is off to uni in 4 weeks so it will just be me and 14 year old - i cant get my head around all the finance forms etc and he is rushing me to do everything so the divorce can go thru asap - i am starting to get angry and dont want to reply to anything to just slow it all down - does that make me a bad person?

bank_of_slate

Don't let the miserable !!!!!! rush you into anything!
Make sure you are taking legal advice of your own and not just following what he tells yo needs doing
...Linda xx

Keeping_Motivated

Kassy

No doesn't make you a bad person AT ALL, you just want him to have a least some of the hurt you have felt and thats understandable BUT I presume the longer you linger to hurt him the longer it will be lingering for you too. The best revenge is success it really is. However as I keep saying on this thread it is easy for me to be rational as I am not going through it and I am sure it would be a different kettle of fish if it were me. I just hope that if it was me I would be able to listen to some of the rational folk and take some of it to help myself. Hope that makes sense, its hard to put everything across in text.

I hope this thread helps you because as you have read the 3 women in particular who are going through this really are an inspiration although I suspect they are feeling so low at the moment they don't even realise it.

KM x