Marriage over don't know where to start

kizzykizzywizzy

He does want to go on the holiday, he has said he won't go if I don't want him to. I've just left it that I'll let him know.
Well he wants to pop in after work to see the kids, I said I'll ring him about this later, I just couldn't plan things, think about the holiday or anything at that split second.

Rage_in_Eden

Skint_Lynne wrote: »

It might be a forces thing this carry on, my DH is in the Army. Sometimes, they see their single pals going out and getting drunk and doing what they like without having to answer to anyone. They can also buy what they like and go where they like when they are on leave.

I believe that some of that was in my Dh's head and he wanted to be a young single guy again. then when he got to do that, I think that he didn't like it after all, might be a midlife crisis, but unfair of him to drag you and the wee ones in too.

Hi Kizzy - seen your posts a lot but I don't think I've ever been on one of your threads. Still, I have been sat her reading this and feeling the need for a very heavy handbag and a train timetable. I think Skint Lynne has hit the exact nail on the hed that I was aiming for. You've both been together since you were very young and now he's seen the other grass and, as we all know, the other man's grass is always greener. However, I do think he was disgraceful to say what he said to you when drunk. How does he think it's been for you whilst he's been off? A constant round of cocktail parties and trips to the South of France? I've lost my Mum too and it was pretty darn awful and I didn't have any little ones to deal with or any other relatives to have to look after. How you didn't rise to the bait when he said about the longest walk I will never know. I would have been tempted to tell him that it would go faster with skates .... :rotfl: (back chat has always caused me sooo many problems ). Apart from that I really don't know what to say apart from YOU need to look after YOU as if YOU aren't coping then who will be looking after your little ones - certainly not him. I think he is depressed and confused but as a fellow depression sufferer there coms a time when you really do have to seek help and if he's not willing to do that then there's not a lot you can do. Anyway, I will be thinking about you and yours and big hugs. Rage x

kizzykizzywizzy

Rage, this has brought all the feelings of grief for my Mum & our baby back to the surface, after coping with it all for so long.
I was so looking forward to this holiday, we've always wanted to go to Venice for a romantic break. When I told him we would be able to get to Venice by train, when I booked the hols he said that will be romantic! I only booked the holiday 30th June!! romance died quickly

Rage_in_Eden

Hmmm I wonder if there is something that he is not telling you - not about anyone else but perhaps a comment made in jest by one of his colleagues that has just triggered something..... that said I'm surprised that it has caused such a spriral. How's your son? Has his tummy bug settled? Has he even told your children yet or is he hoping that you'll do it? I really don't know what to say about the holiday as (a) I can see why you want to go on it for you and the children; (b) can't make out what he's playing at still saying about going on it as he must realise it's giving out mixed signals and (c ) I'm not sure it'l help. Then again, that really isn't my call so I should but butt out of that one Well, I'm going to have to go to bed now as I've got awful work in the morning (just don't get me started....). I'll include you in my thoughts this evening and will check in with you tomorrow. Chin up and feel free to use my secret manta - What Would Gene Do? (obviously this will involve shouting loudly and driving very fast :rotfl: ). Take care, Rage x

gratefulone

elona wrote: »

I must be a real biatch because I not only hoped he got blisters on "the longest walk of his life!!"

I hoped that something more than his hair dropped off!:mad:

I have a heavy handbag and am mentally using it where it would do the most good!

You deserve better and I hope things settle.

Thanks for making me laugh!

kizzykizzywizzy

DS is fine now thanks. He says he will tell the children, I didn't want him to tell them as he had been drinking, also I'd rather wait until after the holiday, don't want to spoil it for them.
I'm going to bed too.
Had enough for one day
Thank You all again for being fabulous & helping me to get through another sh$tty day
You are the best:T

Skint_Lynne

You have a good nights sleep and hopefully you'll feel a bit better in the morning.

nite nite xx

gratefulone

Dear kizzykizzywizzy. I hope you get a good nights sleep and have a better day tomorrow. I just spent half an hour composing a message for you only to have a network failure when I was ready to send it! Anyway, the gist of it was to encourage you to try to find some time to do something relaxing and enjoyable each day to provide an antidote to the stress you are experiencing. Your love and compassion will pull you through. Don't expect too much of yourself (or him) at this difficult time - you are both in survival mode and it may not be a good time to make important decisions. Let the love of your family and friends support you and know that you are not alone in all this.

Warmest wishes

:hello: :wave:

kizzykizzywizzy

Morning folks
Had a surprisingly good sleep - exhausted I think.
DH has already rung this morning to ask how I am & how I slept I said I'm fine, better in fact & that I slept really well. I don't think he did, but I didn't ask. He sounded like he was crying, or at the least very upset.
He said he's really sorry, I said I know you are.
He asked if you could come & see the kids, which of course he can, so he is popping in after work.
He kept saying if you need anything just ring me etc.
So I said Ok, but I'm sure i'll be fine.

I've managed the last 18 months with him only home a few weekends, why am I suddenly going to need him?
Feeling very strong today - probably thanks to you guys.
Might even start packing for my holiday!!

Keeping_Motivated

Morning Kizzy

I'm glad you are feeling stronger today. I suppose thats the key, take it a day at a time, task at atime, hour by hour rather than look at the bigger picture which can become overwhelming. You have the power to make this holiday what ever you want it to be despite the situation and by the sounds of todays post you will make it special for you and the kids no matter what. Infact although you may think this holiday is now bad timing it might actually be perfect timing.

Take care
KM x