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Marriage over don't know where to start

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  • :T:TKizzyxxxxxxxxx

    I am having a sad moment again as called him to why money not in bank and he said will transfer asap,though i heard a slight smile in voice if you get me as his workmate does the dirty on his partners all time so could be a standing joke.
    Anyway the Bank of scotland do instant transfers from account to account so we shall see.

    I got mine to take dogs out last night and next week he will be helping sort out gardens etc etc etc as still half his property:D
    We can use them like a caretaker:rotfl:
    I have to go to town today and sort out silly council tax form and they want to know everything down to youre bra size:rolleyes:
    Just back into comping past few months to help me get over rubbish in life.... won Hotpoint fridge freezer, soda stream
  • Yes will definatly have to get the house up to scratch & take some stuff up the tip.
    I rent a garage from the council & it goes up every year it's now £44 a month, we only rent it so we can put all our junk in it, it's at the back of our house. I'm thinking I could do with the money, more than the garage, full of carboot stuff, but now no-one to look after them, whilst I go, though he said he will -grrrrrr
    Need my old tumble drier taken to the tip too, will be writing a list!
    SFH - here everyone is appalled by mine, they are just being nice to him as we might have got back together, don't think that will be the case now!
    Comping again - wins so far : 2 V festival tix, 2 NFL tix, 6 bottles of wine, personalised hand soap, Aussie miracle conditioner :beer:

    Married my best friend 15/4/16 :)
  • louiser123
    louiser123 Posts: 1,248 Forumite
    hi kizzy,

    glad you slept ok, the dreams are normal i think, i had loads where he was with her in a room full of ppl laughing at me and i was hysterical! but they stop.

    could you get someone else to fix the bike brother/dad/friend? that way hes not needed and it gives you a break from him, i know its a case of at least you will see him but it may take you back to square one of last night, make it appear you dont need him even if you do.

    im thinking of all 3 of you each day now and have to log in asap in morn to catch up, i know how you all are feeling but those feelings do go quicker than you thibk too, and you will all be ok and most probably happier than ever. same words as every says i know but believe me it is true.


    one day at a time as they say

    take care

    hugs

    louise x
    self confessed 80's throwback:D
    sealed pot challenge 2009 #488 (couldnt tell you how much so far as i cant open it to count it!!:mad: )
  • See this is maybe where I am wrong louiser but if the dads are going to an active part in the kids lives then they will not be just walking in for the good parts,they will take good with bad etc,e.g fixing stuff,sorting out homework etc
    As much as my oh has been evil to me for an example if I can I want my ds growing up with both his parents by his side
    Just back into comping past few months to help me get over rubbish in life.... won Hotpoint fridge freezer, soda stream
  • You sound more in control today. As for this threatening to kill himself rubbish I'd mention that to the solicitor as it is emotional abuse and also it sounds that he is losing control of the situation. The best thing now for you when you see or speak to him , is be polite, but firm and don't forget the mse ethos of baby steps. Make today a good day for yourself. good luck . LM
    :jWeight loss slimming world Starting weight 12st 2lbs. Target 10 st -4 -1 sts -1/2 -2 1/2
  • louiser123
    louiser123 Posts: 1,248 Forumite
    hi SFH,

    i didnt for a minute mean not allow him to be part of the kiddies lifes i just meant in the short term until the wounds heal slightly after last night for kizzy. to give her time to heal a bit.
    dads should be a big part in thier life after all they love them dearly no matter what hes done hes still thier dad.

    im so sorry if it came accross that way but it wasnt meant to.
    i just know from my experience i had mine there as often as i could to fix things/do jobs but realised after a while it was me just desperatly trying to get him to call under any guise.

    do hope i havnt offended never in a million yrs would want to do that x
    self confessed 80's throwback:D
    sealed pot challenge 2009 #488 (couldnt tell you how much so far as i cant open it to count it!!:mad: )
  • Mrs_Dawn
    Mrs_Dawn Posts: 206 Forumite
    OOOOOOH Kizzy!!!!!!!!:mad:
    Oh Hun , I really don't know what to say. So very sorry for and your children.

    Today is a new day. The first day of the rest of your life!

    So take this day by the horns and you will begin to feel better.

    Remember small baby steps, one day at a time, slowly does it.

    You are an amazing woman, don't ever forget that.

    Take care lovely lady xxxxxxx
    DFW Nerd 410:T
    Proud to be dealing with our debts:j
  • PercyPig
    PercyPig Posts: 162 Forumite
    Hi kizzy, just wanted to send you a hug (((kizzy))) and to everyone else going through bad times at the moment. I have been following your thread and like everyone else am totally appalled at the way he has treated you. You seem such a strong person and your children are very lucky to have such a lovely Mum.

    Also re the mice, someone earlier suggested getting a cat (maybe Lottie's Mum, sorry my memory is not too good). Cats are lovely company and very good in times of stress as you can pour your heart out to them and they just sit there purring away.

    Thinking of you and I know things are only going to get better for you now.

    Percy P
    Dealing with my debt and my weight :D
    Debt at LBM 22/12/08 £33,270
    Debt now £30,100 (9.5% paid off)

    £2 coins saved and banked = £210
  • Also if he is feeling as suicidal as he says he is, (poor sod). Tell him you'd rather him have the kids when there is someone else around, ie sil.
    :jWeight loss slimming world Starting weight 12st 2lbs. Target 10 st -4 -1 sts -1/2 -2 1/2
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,827 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    would have at least had my dignity intact

    Kizzy
    the way I see it is that you most certainly DO have your dignity intact.
    All you did was voice your feelings to someone who has been a major part of your life for a very long time.
    There is no shame in that whatsoever.

    But, time to move on and up!
    Do not allow him to emotionally blackmail you by threatening to kill himself or let him make you feel sorry for him because he'll be in a hole financially.
    It's a hole he's dug for himself.
    I rent a garage from the council & it goes up every year it's now £44 a month, we only rent it so we can put all our junk in it,
    If having this extra money (£44 per month is quite a lot) would not mess up the benefits you'll get, I'd seriously think about getting rid of any rubbish and selling the rest.
    I could be your first 'me standing on my own 2 feet' project.
    Couldn't your SIL look after the kids whilst you do a car boot?
    Or can they go with you (sorry, I can't remember how old they are)?

    And how about having a really good clearout and selling stuff on ebay?
    Clearing out clutter (especially things that may have sad memories attached) is very cathartic.

    SFH
    I agree with you about seperated dads having the 'bad' bits of their kids lives as well as the good.

    Good luck.
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