Marriage over don't know where to start

tryingtoruletheworld

Hi Kizzy

I have read this post over the last couple of days, really sorry you are having such an awful time. I think your OH has acted in such a vile way to knowingly get your hopes up like that. I know it will take a while to get used to, but I am sure there are great things out there just waiting for you!

xx

GeorgeUK

So sorry this didn't work out Kizzy. Was really hoping for you and the kids.

I think you will also need to have a talk with the kids about why daddy isn's there anymore. Not only about what they have been told but what they have understood from it. I just get the impression that when you tell hubby (what should we call him now?) that he can't come to see the kids tomorrow, at some point, he'll try turning that against you.

When he sees them coping without him being there all the time it may raise a few feelings with him, but it looks like it's too late for that. He probably hasn't even considered what he's going to tell Mr Moose if he's trying to get together with "her".

You must be totally shattered. Emotionally and physically. I can't even begin to imagine what you must have been going through. No dodgy hugs from me - just warm fuzzy ones. And feel free to share them with the kids. I really wish there was something that could be done but as you've said, there is nothing more you can do. Hopefully when you're done with the paperwork and had a little time you'll be able to see how to move forward from this.

ok, one more fuzzy hug and a goodnight kiss from me.
take care.

greeniegirl

Hey kizzy,

i'm so sorry, was out this eve and couldn't wait til morn to see how it went..I' m sorry it didn't work out.
what a stupid stupid fool,he'll regret it.
at least now you know you've given him every opportunity.
hope you are doing ok, take care ok

chevalier

oh Kizzy I am SO sorry for you and the children. I hink everything that I was going to ssay has been said, so I just hope that you can now move on and sort out the divorce side of things as painlessly as possible.
chev

SPANIEL36

hey kizzy, hope your okay???

did you ever find out the moose's phone number? i'd definatly go through his phone if you ever get the chance and ring her up, i've done it in the past and BOY did i feel better!!

gerturdeanna

Kizzy, Hope you are feeling stronger today- don't forget I'm here if you want me!! And anyone else!! Although too many and I'll start charging!! hehehee

tudorfan22

what a jerk!

i hope that now things for you are clearer and you have some sort of closure - you know his true colours and he can never be what you want him to be, its so hard to admit that you cant go back, but once the realisation comes you can look forward and respect yourself so much for having the strength to do whats right for you and your family and not what will make you feel better instantly but temporarily.

thinking of you, have a relaxing and fullfilling bank holiday weekend

Pollycat

Hi Kizzy
I hope you're feeling OK this morning, I was so sad to hear that things didn't go the way you wanted.
It sounds like he was particularly brutal in the way he told you.

But, this is the first day of the rest of your life and I'm sure that it will get better and better as you go on.

From what I've read over the last month or so, you are a strong, thoughtful, kind, empathic person and with a little time, you'll come out the other side of this situation as a winner.

Fill in all the forms and make the appointments - it's time for you to put your kids and you first.
I think your husband sounds a weak man, it may have been that he was hedging his bets with you in case something had gone wrong with this other person.
I'm just pleased that he's not strung you along any longer than he already has, you have given your marriage your very best shot and can walk away with dignity.

Take care.
XXX

PS
Gert & SFH
I hope you two are doing OK too - I can tell you from experience that there IS light at the end of what seems like a very dark, long tunnel.

elj2287

Hi Kizzy

I am so so sorry that it hasn't worked out. Like everyone has said it's your time now with your kids. GeorgeUK is right, explaining it to them what happened in a normal way may help them understand rather than DD having to ask if he is coming home. Looking at that from the kids point of view it is as though he doesn't want to live with them.

In a positive light you can now get on and apply for income support and divorce. Would starting the divorce process now shock him at all do you think?

Apologies for my random ramblings, I'm shocked and cannot imagine what you are going through kizzy, my heart goes out to you and everyone else at this difficult time. Big hugs xxx

kizzykizzywizzy

Hi there didn't sleep too badly, but woke up suddenly as I was dreaming I was on holiday with the kids & he was in our house with the moose, laughing at me down the phone!
Got my business head on today, I know I'll be fine, at this present moment I don't really feel sad, I'm sort of glad that he can't still play with my emotions.
I now have the upper hand ( bar the fact I still have to be OK as he's going to be paying the mortgage! )
I am going to be the one in the house, I should be OK off, not rich, but will manage, he will have £50 left of his wages, probably have to go back & live with his mum, he reckons he's going to pay her £30 a week & have £20 left for food for work & anything else! He said he'll get a second job, but he's been saying that since last month & hasn't done anything about it.
He also said, if you keep on pushing me I'll kill myself! so I said that'll be great, won't get any insurance money & he said I'll make it look right! SO I just OK then! - bloody drama queen, does worry me though that he's unstable, you hear about fathers killing themselves & their kids, so another worry now.
He's just rung me as I'm typing this to see if he can see them today! I said ring back later it's too early to know what we are doing.
We bought an inner tube for my DD bike yesterday, but picked up the wrong size & she's desperate to have it fixed, might let him come around & do that & pick up the cat poo in the garden - then he can go
I'm really annoyed he said he'd finished with her, as had he not said that I would never have told him I wanted him back & would have at least had my dignity intact