Marriage over don't know where to start

gerturdeanna

We have actually talked a bit today - he's moving out at begininning of Sept to his bosses house, house sharing. I've told him that it doesn't have to be forever and once he gets his head sorted out, then we can think about making a go of it again. He agreed. He will have to grovel really really hard first though!! He's going to transfer the mortgage money to my account so I know its being paid!! He;s also going to do more with the kids on his days off, ie. Taking them out etc etc.
So all in all, a good conversation, I think.
Still hate him for what he's done, but he doesn't seem so evil now?!?!?!

kizzykizzywizzy

Well done for talking Gert, - you've got to the point I did with DH ( notice he's changed back to DH! )
It will be so much easier for you & the kids, without the arguments. How are the kids doing by the way are they coping alright?

kimlisa66

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

Do not apologise. what a scumbag. I hope he has gone now. and you are ok.

I am really mad on your behalf who the hell does he think he is?

Thanks Buffy,

That's only a minor thing in the grand scheme of things. Ive had doors punched in, been screamed at, threatened, and I still always want to believe there is a good side to him (which I am sure there is), for the kid's sake.

He is arrogant beyond belief, something my mum say's about him. Part of the problem is where he is paying the mortgage, he thinks he still has rights to the house, which, technically he does. He was always a control freak and hasn't changed.

But I wouldn't go round to his place unannounced, I wouldn't even be let in the door.

God I am in such a mess with this.

K

Rikki

gerturdeanna wrote: »

We have actually talked a bit today - he's moving out at begininning of Sept to his bosses house, house sharing. I've told him that it doesn't have to be forever and once he gets his head sorted out, then we can think about making a go of it again. He agreed. He will have to grovel really really hard first though!! He's going to transfer the mortgage money to my account so I know its being paid!! He;s also going to do more with the kids on his days off, ie. Taking them out etc etc.
So all in all, a good conversation, I think.
Still hate him for what he's done, but he doesn't seem so evil now?!?!?!

Sometimes it takes something like this for men to make the effort.

They take forgranted you and the children are always there when they come home. When they live away they have to make the effort to spend quality time with you and the children.

If only they could do this without letting things get so bad in the first place.:rolleyes:

wheretheresawill

Theres an article in daily mail today that I was reading about a man who cheated on his wife. It reminded me very much about whats been going on with people on here. The wife stayed in marriage but she's not happy as now thinks the tart is back on the scene and even if she isnt the paranoia is killing the relationship. I personally could never trust anyone again who had cheated on me and to me trust is worth a lot more than staying with someone for security. I think I have difficulty with trust as so many married men have tried it on with me, to my knowledge i've never been cheated on but I was always paranoid that they would. I really hope there is a happy ending for you all, I think back on last relationships and think that when we had a wobble if I had backed off a bit then perhaps I wouldnt be a sad old spinster at 32!

kizzykizzywizzy

OMG kimlisa what a kn$b!!
Hope you are ok
SFH - well done for getting a few bits done today, you're doing really well & yes evenings are very difficult, but there's always someone around on here, you've got my number - don't ever feel alone, you've got us:D

Keeping_Motivated

Hi everyone...

SFH - well done on doing some jobs today, massive step in the right direction don't underestimate it.

Gert - well done on the 'talk' it must take alot of strength.

Kizzy - sounds like more positive steps in the right direction hopefully. If he is not 'thinking' of maybe giving it a chance then surely he would be sensible enough to know that asking you to go out at the weekend is leading you on and being cruel , especially after you pouring your heart out last night? Surely he would be saying 'Look I think I need to spend some time with the children on my own etc'?

So 'some' progress all round today I would say for all of you.

And hello to everyone else who is sharing their stories. You are all so inspiring.

KM x

kimlisa66

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

OMG kimlisa what a kn$b!!
Hope you are ok

Thanks Kizzy, mine makes yours sound like Mother Teresa....:-) I just wish I had kicked him out sooner, not waited 22 years !

Hope you are doing ok also, its all so stressful isnt it? Im not a great deal further on since all this happened back last year. I just dont think he could handle it if I did meet someone else and moved on. I just dont know what he would do.

K

Keeping_Motivated

kimlisa66 wrote: »

God I hate men.....well some of them

My Ex has just turned up unnanounced, with the pretence of seeing if there were any jobs needing doing round the house ( he is bored and wants to know what im doing more like) and because I asked him to let me know if he was coming, he started to throw a wobbly.

He kicked my kitchen bin completely shattering it, and slammed the doors to the conservatory. He is such an ****rsehole. This is the man who was having a fling with his best mate's wife, but proceeded to blame everyone and eveything for his mistfortune at being asked to leave. What a complete loser.

Sorry, rant over

K

There is part of me that is thinking that although you should NOT have to put up with this behaviour part of you should feel smug that he is the one now obviously suffering ha! Although he is obviously a pig for the way he displays his hurt and its wrong for you to be made to feel like that and witness his aggression he is the one who is frustrated and hurting because you CAN get along without him and he is the one who made you strong ironically!!! FOOL him.

KM x

Mrs_Dawn

Evening all.

Just caught up on reading this thread. It moves fast doesn't it.
Kizzy - have PM'd you.x
It was good to hear from a couple of girls who've come out the other side and succeeded:j .
For me it's the trust issue, he works away from home, how do I know where he is?
He has promised he'll never lie to me again.
I'm off to relate tomorrow so I'll see how I feel after that and whether there is anything worth saving.

We must stay strong girls. I agree the evenings are the worst, do feel so lonely.
Stupid really as he was often away all week, so I'm used to spending my evenings alone, but it feels different somehow. He is still sleeping on the sofa when he's home. Got to go to his Dads Surprise 65th party at the weekend, not sure how to handle that yet. At least I'll have the children to occupy me.

Dawn xx