Marriage over don't know where to start

Gloomy_Past_Bright_Future

Kizzy,

Not a regular poster, but a regular reader of your posts, and I have read everything that has happened to you from start to finish. Your strength is inspirational.

Just want to say one thing, even though someone has touched on it, when OH visits you on Thursday go out for a drink, let him turn up about 7-8pm, organise a sitter for the kids, then answer the door and be dressed to kill.

You have showed him you are a fantastic mum and wife, now show him the other side that he hasn't seen for a while. Go out get matching undies (primark will do!), slightly revealing outfit and killer heels. Remember the Moose probably was like that all the time, (no kids, no housework) but when he looked he probably knew in his heart that she would be C!!P at everything else. Well a woman who wears knickers to keep her ankles warm, is not good wife material!!!

Show him you're the whole package!, that he doesn't need to look elsewhere for that side because its right there for him.

Go into a bar where there is plenty of good looking guys, just so that one or two can give you a second look. You will see his protective caveman come out, and it will either drive him insane, that he feels like he can't touch you or put his protective arm round to say "she's mine", or he will just do it anyway!

And just in case he decides to "pop in for a coffee", after your evening make sure his favourite beer/wine is chilling in the fridge... thats the perfect wife in you!

Good Luck Kizzy, have a wonderful evening

GPBF xx

Fidget21

Kizzy

I haven't posted for a while but I have been keeping up. I'm really pleased there is a glimmer of hope for you. I think the biggest issue is going to be for him to be able to move past the guilt he is feeling and he may not be in a place to do that just yet. When I say that I just mean that in his head it might not be as black and white as it is in yours. Men (again sorry to generalise) tend find it more difficult to compartmentalize their emotions, so whereas you can shut your feelings about the affair into a box and move on, he may not have a box to shut the guilt away into. This might mean that he is unable to say a definate 'yes' or 'no' about trying again with you, or that he might feel unable to handle the guilt at all and say 'no' when really in the long term he means 'yes'. He might be a case of taking smaller steps until eventually he just slots back into his role in your lives rather than actually making a decision to come back into your lives now.

I know you have a lot of hope pinned on Thursday (I would too) but I don't want you to be too distraught if the answer from him isn't the one you're hoping for because from what I've read I don't think it is over for you guys at all, just as I say the biggest hurdle to overcome at this point is his handling of his guilt.

At this point I would also strongly, strongly recommend making him go to relate. Make it a condition of trying again. They are trained to help you through these things and to help him handle his feelings over what he has done.

Keeping my fingers, toes, legs and arms crossed for you.(believe me it makes driving difficult!!)

Fidge. xx

tudorfan22

Kiz will he be texting you this morning? just wonder if he he psyhicing (sp) himself up for tomorrow too, maybe you can glean some information from his text?

kizzykizzywizzy

I have been dressing nicely as bought a few new bits before we went on holiday.
I am completly different to the moose, she's not feminine, quite fat & butch, I am the opposite, I'm quite girly now VERY slim, but shapely, dress in a feminine way.
I might see if SIL will look after the kids, perhaps let them have a sleepover, so we can talk & maybe go out, will see what he has to say today before getting my hopes up too much.
He usually texts me in the morning about 9ish

Juneno

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

I know he should be in own room though will get him back there pretty soonxxx

KM i found out tonight she works in a resteraunt some nights so maybe may pop down soon:rotfl:

Oo! That'd be a good idea! Does she know you? If not, you could go for a meal and complain about the rubbish service!:rotfl: Or take something horrible along (insect or nail clippings!) and plant it in whatever she serves you. :rolleyes:

Yes, I know it's childish but it'd give you a little bit of vengeful pleasure!:T

kizzykizzywizzy

tudorfan22 wrote: »

Kiz will he be texting you this morning? just wonder if he he psyhicing (sp) himself up for tomorrow too, maybe you can glean some information from his text?

Perhaps if he uses my pet name on the text or words it in a particular way I might get some info...........all this waiting for the most impatient person in the world is driving me mad!
We probably got into debt because I couldn't wait & save for anything!!

scottishfreebiehunter

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Perhaps if he uses my pet name on the text or words it in a particular way I might get some info...........all this waiting for the most impatient person in the world is driving me mad!
We probably got into debt because I couldn't wait & save for anything!!

Youa re blaming yourself again so stop!!xxxx

I was the same couldnt wait etc and have thought about it to,though they are to blame for sleeping with someone else etc not us.
Got my ds out to school no mates about here just sat crying again and wondering what to do and where to go next,it is as if my world has ended though have to pick myself up soon
He is coming tomorrow afternoon also to see ds so may make sure hair all done etc so he cannot see what a wreck he has made me.

Bargainfinder_3

Morning Kizzy, I'm so happy you had the conversation you wanted to - and I am really hoping that all goes well tonight - just be yourself; that's who he fell in love with:)

All the very best! xxxx

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks bargainfinder, I will be
SFH, have a little pamper session, paint your nails, pluck your eyebrows, put a face mask on etc, it will make you feel a lot better & you can also show him what he's losing.
Try not to cry, clove ball eyes aren't very attractive:p

Bargainfinder_3

Hi sfh, I agree, relax and look after number 1 for a bit xxx