Marriage over don't know where to start

kizzykizzywizzy

you are very brave sfh.
What did he say when you told him that?

kizzykizzywizzy

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

thats the thing she aint no oil painting and i want to slap the living day lights out of her:o

Well the moose is a she-man!

scottishfreebiehunter

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

you are very brave sfh.
What did he say when you told him that?

he said he cares for me and loves me a little but not enough,but we were only oh hols in July and all was fine
I know there is no point beating myself up about it but really down
One good point ds is asleep next to me and relaxed first in a long time

kizzykizzywizzy

star-X wrote: »

Kizzy, im so pleased that you are feeling a bit more hopeful, and i seriously hope that things go your way. What i am worried about though, is that he isnt really showing any remorse for this, i may be wrong. He has treated you appalingly, and even though you have said you wont bring anything up, its going to eat away at you, believe me. You have to have a chat and its the way he has been and what he has done that has to be talked about. Its tough really if he doesnt want to talk, he owes you a proper explanation and a cast iron guarantee that it wont happen again. For the last few pages it comes across to me that you are blmaing yourself, ie, being moody as of your horrors over the last year, having to look after the kids etc, YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME, it is him that has caused all of this hurt, he shouldve talked to you, and he should talk to you now. You musnt allow him to get away with this scott free, i dont mean revenge, but he HAS to know he has hurt you and that there is no way in this world that he will ever get another chance if he ever does anything like that again, YOU ARE WORTH SOOOO MUCH MORE, one mistake can be dealt with but no more, your are worth so much more. Thinking of you hunny, hope things go the way you want, but even though you have said you wont mention it, it has to be talked about, hurtful as it is, you deserve an explanation, please dont beg him to come back, make him beg you, all you need to do is be a little more unavailable, youve started the ball rolling and it sounds to me like its working, but it isnt fair on you or the kids that he can do as he pleases when he feels like it, and then be able t ocome back like nothing has happened. Good luck xxx

Oh, he has appologised tenfold, he has sobbed he is feeling so bad about what he has done, not just to me & the kids, but the rest of the family, as it affects so many people when this sort of thing happens.
He is really having a job to live with himself, I think he is punishing himself enough.
I'm not really blaming myself, but I can see why I may have not seemed as attractive as someone, who didn't have the everyday stresses that I have been coping with. He certainly hasn't got away scott free, he'll have to live with this for the rest of his life, & if we don't get back together, he may have to see a stepdad walk his daughter up the aisle, may not get to spend xmas day with them etc, so there's no way he's not been punished

Keeping_Motivated

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Well the moose is a she-man!

Ooh its a shame you can't all post the Moose's picture on here and we could have a hall of SHAME!!! :mad: I know that would not be right though :mad:

I just wish these Mooses had even just a small insight into the horror and pain they are putting you and your children through surely they would think twice then?! I know its the mans fault as he is the one married but if the woman KNOWS he is married then she should take responsibility too.

kizzykizzywizzy

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

he said he cares for me and loves me a little but not enough,but we were only oh hols in July and all was fine
I know there is no point beating myself up about it but really down
One good point ds is asleep next to me and relaxed first in a long time

Glad DS is asleep, I expect he's tired after his first day back.
It's amazing how quickly our world can fall apart, it's as though someone flicked a switch, from DH loving me so much to nothing - still can't believe it really

kizzykizzywizzy

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Ooh its a shame you can't all post the Moose's picture on here and we could have a hall of SHAME!!! :mad: I know that would not be right though :mad:

I just wish these Mooses had even just a small insight into the horror and pain they are putting you and your children through surely they would think twice then?! I know its the mans fault as he is the one married but if the woman KNOWS he is married then she should take responsibility too.

Moose is married too, no kids though.
Yes he's as much to blame if not more, he's got children that have been hurt too.

scottishfreebiehunter

I know he should be in own room though will get him back there pretty soonxxx

KM i found out tonight she works in a resteraunt some nights so maybe may pop down soon:rotfl:

star-X_2

Ok Kizzy, im just worried about it eating you up, its just not that easy to forgive something that is so recent and raw and am worried about you, and you sfh, i echo phoning the samaritans, they are open 24hours, please give them a call, they wont be judgemental atall. Thinking of you both. Sfh, i dont know if you remember a meditation link i put up, i really think that will do you good righ tthis moment, might sound silly but i can assure you that youll have 21 minutes of peace which i think your mind needs at this moment. If you google free secret garden meditation it will come up, id never of believed anyone if they said meditation would work in times like this, but i know from experience it does and it will give your head a break, trust me. Good luck to you both. Thinking of you both xxxx

Keeping_Motivated

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

I know he should be in own room though will get him back there pretty soonxxx

KM i found out tonight she works in a resteraunt some nights so maybe may pop down soon:rotfl:

I don't blame you However just remember that if you go in guns a blazing that the it will be easier for her to come back fighting (not literally, I hope) and blame you and say you are a 'nutter' ( you know that old chestnut 'the ex is a nutter' in other words so I can take her husband, bull) so the calmer you are if you see her and the more dignity you keep the harder it will be for her to be in that mode and hopefully it will make her feel some remorse

Easy words I know from an outsider but please DO NOT let these two people take away your DIGNITY they have taken ENOUGH already don't let them have that no way :A

KM x