Marriage over don't know where to start

Bargainfinder_3

That's great kizzy, you must have made a great impression. Confirms my belief that you are a lovely person

Keeping_Motivated

Have you made notes about what the solicitor said?

Are you going to tell him that you have been to the solicitors and are you going to tell him what they said?

KMx

gerturdeanna

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

also if on income support they let the csa know apparently,

Not true - there is now a child maintenace option that basically means that they prefer you to make a private agreement, even if you are on income support. Not sure if you still have to declare what he gives you, but in my case, he'll be paying the mortgage so not actually going to me. The CSA changed about a month ago so maybe your solicitor isn't so clued up on it yet.

Rikki

Its right what the solicitor said about him being able to pay for everything still.

Once he moves out he will have his own rent, bills, food etc to pay for. It would be very difficult for him to keep two houses. Its something you really do have to be prepared for. It something he may offer to do but in reality it would be impossible.

I really do hope things work out in the best way for you but just don't look at the situation through rose tinted glasses.

kizzykizzywizzy

gerturdeanna wrote: »

Not true - there is now a child maintenace option that basically means that they prefer you to make a private agreement, even if you are on income support. Not sure if you still have to declare what he gives you, but in my case, he'll be paying the mortgage so not actually going to me. The CSA changed about a month ago so maybe your solicitor isn't so clued up on it yet.

She's obviously a bit behind then.
Glad you have moved forward with your life & are getting on with things, I still can't until I know for sure it's over, didn't get upset in the solicitors until she said 4 - 6 months to divorce, I couldn't believe it would be so quick.
I told him the other day I was going to the solicitors today, no idea what I'm going to tell him, as with everything will see how things are going & bring it into the conversation if able to

SPANIEL36

hi kizzy, i've been catching up on your thread for the past 2 hours, cant belive how much i miss in such a small space of tme!! i know its a really stupid obvious question and you may have already done this but have you gone through his mobile to get her number? its what i've done in the past and recently. Got the evidence and rang the Biaches up and give em hell
gotta say u are coping so much better than most people would. Your a good woman.
sendig love to you and your kids
xx

scottishfreebiehunter

right people sorted out the money etc etc we will see if he holds down his end of the bargain,he got letter from solicitor today mega quick and says all in order,so we shall see if he writes back to him.
He had dinner here and is now playing ps2 with ds I feel virtually sick as do not believe he has been thinking to leave for a long time as walked past calender and he had daddy due home and dates etc on it
Yes I know I still love him and a bit of me wants to throttle him,but today I am being a nicey nicey person so he cannot see how much I am hurting inside and finding it very hard

Keeping_Motivated

SFH you have done sooo well... How good for your son to have a 'normal' day so you should be proud of yourself for being so strong and giving him good memories on his first day at school.

Take care
KM x

scottishfreebiehunter

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

SFH you have done sooo well... How good for your son to have a 'normal' day so you should be proud of yourself for being so strong and giving him good memories on his first day at school.

Take care
KM x

Cheers KM xx it is eating me up inside and he is taking a few more of his clothes etc though I need to stay strong for ds as it was upsetting for him enough and still is.
We will see if money appears in bank Friday

greeniegirl

hi kizzy,

i'm here reading the thread and feel so sorry for you (4- 6 months!! oh my god!)

there's been a very quick move to this point. I know I said earlier that I think you deserve better than this (which I still do!) however if you really love him and want to remain married to him, why accept that divorce is the only option so soon? i know you need your finances sorted but would you ask him if counselling, etc is an option. I think i'd be asking him more questions _ Why not ask him what his intentions are - does he want to try again - is he going to take his marriage vows seriously, is he sorry, what does he think? has he changed his mind or likely to?
that's what you are hoping for, why not ask