Marriage over don't know where to start

belfastgirl23

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Re paperwork, I might ask him, will play it by ear. It is a good idea & I did think of asking him, but as I've always done any paperwork, he might find it a bit weird, also I don't want to seem like a boring paperwork/housework mumsy person, when the moose isn't

No matter how things were in the past though this is a new phase in your relationship whatever that may mean. And facing up to the paperwork might also help him realise what he's doing to everyone. My vote is to ask him to do it not just help with it...but again you have to do what feels right to you...

moodydonkey

Morning lovely ladies, had a bit of a catch up with the thread and you all seem to be having a hard time at the moment. Please believe me when I say it does get better. I feel for you all cos i've been there and the mistress was pregnant too just to make things lovelier.
Just please bear this in mind. Life at the moment is rubbish but later on you may be thanking your lucky stars because I can honestly say i've never been happier than I am now. Sometimes you have to wade through the poo to get to the good stuff!
You will all be ok, think I might have to go and have a cry now lol xxx

trancebabe

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Re paperwork, I might ask him, will play it by ear. It is a good idea & I did think of asking him, but as I've always done any paperwork, he might find it a bit weird, also I don't want to seem like a boring paperwork/housework mumsy person, when the moose isn't

but she is all of those things... your Hubby just hasn't ever seen her in that light yet! They've not had to deal with normal relationship conditions yet and it will be a shock when they do.

He's a fool if he thinks he'll be happier with someone else because only you can make you happy iykwim... He has to be happy in himself before he can be happy with someone else

Good Luck Kizzy - Your doing fab and I hope you (and your kiddies) get your sunshine after the storm soon

moodydonkey

Lordy, have tried to be nice but now may be harsh. Kiz, Gert, SFH ,forget about these men, you are on your own, my ex other half was as shocked as hell when I filed for divorce.
You take control and you sort things out, start leading your life as you mean to carry on. If things change then fantastic because anything can be stopped.
I posted a while ago Kiz, act like it's over because then you can move on.
Do you honestly love him or just the life you had? To me you are incredible, stronger than you ever thought possible. Have a sit down and seriously think about why you want him.
If it is for the kids and your life then trust me you can do it on your own.
If it is because you truly love him then good luck to you. I think I speak for us all when I say we are completely behind you x
On a completely different note I would personally like to thank everyone who has given their support. I didn't have internet access when going thru this so did it all on my own. It's very good to know that the support is there during which most of us know is a really rubbish time xx

gerturdeanna

I think personally for me, things will be better when he gets his sorry a r s e out of my house and then I can move on properly!!
I'm quite looking forward to look after my kids properly (my way - not his mums way!!), to budget and know that I've paid all the bills, to go to college and re-train for the future. But none of these can really happen until he gets gone!! Can't wait to break it to the kids either - not cos I want to hurt them, but because then they will know whats going on, and yes things will get worse before they get better but I have a great support network both online and offline!! So thanks guys for all your words of support and I ain't going anywhere!!

Skint_Lynne

Just keep going girls, you are all doing so well. Keep your goals firmly focused in your mind, this will see you through the bad times, and we will all be here for you as well.

SL x

Mrs_Dawn

HI all hope you are all having an ok if not good day.

Kizzy- sorry Hun will PM you late, got caught up with ironing and stuff last night.

Hope you are doing ok with the solicitor.

Just off to tidy the kitchen.

DD2an Ds are quietly reading in the living room while watching the Olympics too. HEAVEN!!!! Peace and quiet(well for 5 minutes anyway):rotfl:

I'll catch up in a while. Bye

Dawnxx

moodydonkey

Gert, you are totally right, I felt the same. Just to be in control again is wonderful if not stressful. I have 1.18 in my bank at the mo but all bills paid, girls happy, no money disappearing to god knows where (mobile phone, restaurants and hotel bills)
I was a total lush, had thought I was a failure but when the doodoo throws itself at that thing that spins round very fast it is in a weird way nice to know that you coped.
Personally I think we get stuck into something that we think is our life, then something comes along and shakes us out of it. Doesn't always have to be a bad thing.
I know my kids are happier now we are apart because their dad and I are both happier.
Anyway, woo hoo it's the school holidays and it's pouring with rain and we're all broke! Cheer up worst things could happen haha much love to all x

Sarellie8

Kiz, Gert & SFH - So sorry for all that you are all going through, but I was just like you 8 years ago. Unfortunately I was 7 months pregnant when exH decided it was over between us. We had been married less than a year. He came home one night saying he was leaving, (I had had my suspicions for a couple of weeks). I said you are seeing someone else aren't you. Took him a few hours but he confessed the same day.

Anyway, I stayed in the house (it was his) until our DD was born and then a week later moved to a council estate that had a bad name. Fortunately, in no time at all I made some really good friends.

Seven years down the line and we are friends. He married the woman who he left me for and I can hold my head up high and say that I also get on with her, sometimes even better that exH. It was all for the benefit of our DD, I never wanted her to grow up with a split family, so I have made it easy as possible fo her. She is happy and thats all that matters to me.

Don't get me wrong, it took a couple of years to get to this stage and every now and again we do still have the odd little argument but its soon forgotten. And my trust in men is shot at. Have had a couple of relationships but nothing lasting. Feel that I do better on my own, but am scared I am getting too independent and will never let anyone close now (sorry if that sounds bad). On the other hand I can do what I want when I want.

Sorry for the long post.

Just wanted you all to know it does get better.xxxx

kizzykizzywizzy

moodydonkey wrote: »

Lordy, have tried to be nice but now may be harsh. Kiz, Gert, SFH ,forget about these men, you are on your own, my ex other half was as shocked as hell when I filed for divorce.
You take control and you sort things out, start leading your life as you mean to carry on. If things change then fantastic because anything can be stopped.
I posted a while ago Kiz, act like it's over because then you can move on.
Do you honestly love him or just the life you had? To me you are incredible, stronger than you ever thought possible. Have a sit down and seriously think about why you want him.
If it is for the kids and your life then trust me you can do it on your own.
If it is because you truly love him then good luck to you. I think I speak for us all when I say we are completely behind you x
On a completely different note I would personally like to thank everyone who has given their support. I didn't have internet access when going thru this so did it all on my own. It's very good to know that the support is there during which most of us know is a really rubbish time xx

Yes I truly love him:o

I've been to the solicitors today, well his idea of paying for everything is a load of dollop as he will not be able to afford to, also if on income support they let the csa know apparently, all sorts. Didn't take a lot of it in. She said that if it was straightforward with no arguing could take between 4-6 months for it to go through, not bad after 21 years together!!
Anyway got the usual texts this morning
Him -Morning hope they went to sleep ok & if you want me to get anything let me know ( yawn )
So I asked him to get them some capri suns on the way back, as cheaper in the supermarket near his work.
Him -Anything else just let me know

Took my uniform into work, the boss said he's really sorry that I had to go, but circumstances change & if I want to come back he'll find something for me, which I thought was really nice.