Not sure what to do...

aligerdie

GeorgeUK wrote: »

if you google: nationaldebtline letters

Section 6 should have some letters that you can possibly use, though you may need to amend them a little.

Glad to hear things are improving, but i hope it's a lasting improvement rather than - just to get mum off my back.

thank you so much for that, and all your help also when I first started this thread, you really are a star. I shall have a look at the letters in the morning, I'm starting to fall asleep right now!

Thank you x

adelegalla

Hi aligerdie,

How are things going? Have you managed to 'chat' to you generous OH about the real life cost of things yet?

Hope your okay.

Best ones,

A

aligerdie

adelegalla wrote: »

Hi aligerdie,

How are things going? Have you managed to 'chat' to you generous OH about the real life cost of things yet?

Hope your okay.

Best ones,

A

Hi thanks for your post!

To be honest, things have been getting pretty bad the last couple of days, and it has made me realise that things are never going to change. The support he gives me is non existant, and todays argument has just confirmed that.

I have tonight filled out a form for the local housing association, I have no idea whether its the right thing to do, but I'm determined to post it tomorrow. I'm not going to tell him I've filled it out either, as I have no idea how long it takes in our area.

I think its fair to say my marriage is pretty much going down the pan, and whilst I have to say I'm gutted, I'm a bit relieved. Now all I have to concentrate on is getting me and the kids sorted with a place. I have no idea how I'll manage, and I'm shaking just thinking about it.

Thank you for asking, that really means alot....sorry for moaning...again!

Dithering_Dad

aligerdie wrote: »

Hi thanks for your post!

To be honest, things have been getting pretty bad the last couple of days, and it has made me realise that things are never going to change. The support he gives me is non existant, and todays argument has just confirmed that.

I have tonight filled out a form for the local housing association, I have no idea whether its the right thing to do, but I'm determined to post it tomorrow. I'm not going to tell him I've filled it out either, as I have no idea how long it takes in our area.

I think its fair to say my marriage is pretty much going down the pan, and whilst I have to say I'm gutted, I'm a bit relieved. Now all I have to concentrate on is getting me and the kids sorted with a place. I have no idea how I'll manage, and I'm shaking just thinking about it.

Thank you for asking, that really means alot....sorry for moaning...again!

Good luck with this aligerdie, I hope it works out for you. I know you were thinking of staying together for the kids, but this really just results in misery all round. Better that your kids live in a happier home without Dad in it (but see him as often as they like) than for you all to be together and for them to witness you arguing all the time and them growing up thinking your Dad's behaviour is 'normal'.

strumpet

Hi Aligerdie,
Surley if you are the one going to be looking after the kids, it might be better if HE moves out. That way the children can stay within familiar surroundings during a time when they are going to be bewildered as to what's going on. Whatever you do, you need to let the kids know that it is not their fault that your marriage is suffering.

Whatever you decide, be brave and keep posting - we all care about what happens
to you.

Love and another super-duper whopping cyber stumpet hug with bells on!

Strumpet
xxx

aligerdie

strumpet wrote: »

Hi Aligerdie,
Surley if you are the one going to be looking after the kids, it might be better if HE moves out. That way the children can stay within familiar surroundings during a time when they are going to be bewildered as to what's going on. Whatever you do, you need to let the kids know that it is not their fault that your marriage is suffering.

Whatever you decide, be brave and keep posting - we all care about what happens
to you.

Love and another super-duper whopping cyber stumpet hug with bells on!

Strumpet
xxx

With bells on this time?!! :rotfl: *is honoured*

I can't afford to stay in the property we're in now, although I do love living here. Its a private rent, and I just could not afford to pay it on my own. I have been a stay at home mom for the last year or so, so I've applied for loads of jobs this week for a weekend hoping I can make some extra money.

Thank you for your message, I've got tears in my eyes now xxx

aligerdie

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

Good luck with this aligerdie, I hope it works out for you. I know you were thinking of staying together for the kids, but this really just results in misery all round. Better that your kids live in a happier home without Dad in it (but see him as often as they like) than for you all to be together and for them to witness you arguing all the time and them growing up thinking your Dad's behaviour is 'normal'.

I'm just worried that in the future they'll think that I haven't tried. I want to work things out for the sake of them all, but I just cannot carry on being miserable. I just want to be on my own now with my kids and carry on. I'm tired of being walked over, and things financially can't really get any worse.

They love their dad to bits, and we'll work something out so that he can see them whenever he likes, and we'll have to do things together aswell so they can spend time with the both of us at the same time. I'm determined not to fall out with him.

Thank you for your posts throughout this thread, you have talked so much sense, it just took me a while to realise what was inevitably going to happen.

tyllwyd

I'm really sorry to hear about the situation, but I'm also really glad that you've decided to stand up for yourself and to put yourself and the kids first. Good luck with everything!

Chia

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

Good luck with this aligerdie, I hope it works out for you. I know you were thinking of staying together for the kids, but this really just results in misery all round. Better that your kids live in a happier home without Dad in it (but see him as often as they like) than for you all to be together and for them to witness you arguing all the time and them growing up thinking your Dad's behaviour is 'normal'.

I agree with this completely. I believe you said that he works away during the week and is only home at weekends, so if you separate and the kids only see him on weekends, then surely it won't be much different for them anyway? I think you're doing a great job coping with your situation, but I do think you will be much better off disentangling yourself from this uncaring and disrespectful excuse for a man.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck!!!