Single and in debt.

RosaBernicia

Hi SarahB,
just to say you wouldn't be wasting anyone's time, you're fab :grouphug: and they'd be lucky! Even if you don't immediately find 'the one' through a dating site etc you might make some great friends along the way. Can't remember where I heard it but someone pointed out that every connection we make links us to several more, so even what seems like a small step could have ripple effects! (says RB, very glad she made effort to maintain links with the friend with lovely flatmate )

Your excuses sound spookily similar to mine - I WILL sort out my love life when I have a) flat stomach from much Pilates, b) paid off my debts, c) grown my hair back from short cut I now don't like... trouble is I just keep moving the scary things further down the list, there is always something I can put in front of it! Think ways to deal with it are tiny steps at a time (that's why I like the little challenges - no excuse not to fit that into a week) or with back-up. A super-organised friend of mine is getting married in September so have told her that her next project after the wedding is to help me set up on mysinglefriend.com - that saves me writing the profile which is the bit I hate, and her fiance is lovely so hopefully she won't set me up with any total eejits! will report back...

Just for a smile everyday y'all might like to look at http://www.tut.com/notes/?action=notes ... it's free registration and sends you an email every mon-fri morning with positive thoughts - always cheers me up.

RB xx

Ossireo

SarahB - I said exactly the same things, its really normal to do so.

I've lost 1.5 stone and have about another 3 stone to go :eek: and I figured that no one would even look at me like this or it would be someone who was into larger ladies and would be trying to fatten me up

Debt wise I thought what's the point in meeting anyone when I cant afford to do anything or people may judge me harshly for the position I am in

I guess I had a mini LBM and I decided that there would be no harm in chatting to other people. I had always believed that if there was someone out there for me they would see 'me' through all the perceived 'bad stuff' and if someone liked me in this bad time that it could prove genuine more then someone falling for the 'perfect' image I have in my head which I might not even achieve (if that makes sense!)

Especially after reading Marleyboys posts I thought there might even be men out there in the same boat and feeling the same way. So I decided to go out there, be pretty scarily honest about me and was surprised at the responses I got and it does improve your confidence no end xx

Anyway bit of a waffle, off to continue my panic tidy as my Scots first visit to my house today :eek::eek::eek:

sarahb123_3

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Hi SarahB,
just to say you wouldn't be wasting anyone's time, you're fab :grouphug: and they'd be lucky! Even if you don't immediately find 'the one' through a dating site etc you might make some great friends along the way. Can't remember where I heard it but someone pointed out that every connection we make links us to several more, so even what seems like a small step could have ripple effects! (says RB, very glad she made effort to maintain links with the friend with lovely flatmate )

Your excuses sound spookily similar to mine - I WILL sort out my love life when I have a) flat stomach from much Pilates, b) paid off my debts, c) grown my hair back from short cut I now don't like... trouble is I just keep moving the scary things further down the list, there is always something I can put in front of it! Think ways to deal with it are tiny steps at a time (that's why I like the little challenges - no excuse not to fit that into a week) or with back-up. A super-organised friend of mine is getting married in September so have told her that her next project after the wedding is to help me set up on mysinglefriend.com - that saves me writing the profile which is the bit I hate, and her fiance is lovely so hopefully she won't set me up with any total eejits! will report back...

Just for a smile everyday y'all might like to look at http://www.tut.com/notes/?action=notes ... it's free registration and sends you an email every mon-fri morning with positive thoughts - always cheers me up.

RB xx

Thank you so much RosaBernicia, it really made me smile to read this, what a lovely thing to say!

We have the EXACT same excuses! So easy to think think like that, just need to get x,y and z done before I can find a boyfriend. I love the idea of the ripple effect from small steps, am already feeling more comfortable about being out by myself, hopefully the ripple effect will draw an unsuspecting man in!

Have got fingers, toes and everything else crossed for you re the lovely flatmate of your friend, please keep us updated, I love hearing other people's stories!

xxx

sarahb123_3

Ossireo wrote: »

SarahB - I said exactly the same things, its really normal to do so.

I've lost 1.5 stone and have about another 3 stone to go :eek: and I figured that no one would even look at me like this or it would be someone who was into larger ladies and would be trying to fatten me up

Debt wise I thought what's the point in meeting anyone when I cant afford to do anything or people may judge me harshly for the position I am in

I guess I had a mini LBM and I decided that there would be no harm in chatting to other people. I had always believed that if there was someone out there for me they would see 'me' through all the perceived 'bad stuff' and if someone liked me in this bad time that it could prove genuine more then someone falling for the 'perfect' image I have in my head which I might not even achieve (if that makes sense!)

Especially after reading Marleyboys posts I thought there might even be men out there in the same boat and feeling the same way. So I decided to go out there, be pretty scarily honest about me and was surprised at the responses I got and it does improve your confidence no end xx

Anyway bit of a waffle, off to continue my panic tidy as my Scots first visit to my house today :eek::eek::eek:

Thank you for everything you have said here Ossierio, you have made a lot of sense, I need to start thinking like you. Re your Scot- HOW EXCITING:j :j :j am so so pleased for you, hope everything goes brilliantly!:D

Buffythedebtslayer

sarahb123 wrote: »

Hi all, REALLY need to sort myself out and do something! Seems like I have so many things that need sorting out, I don't know where to start! will definitely have to find the nerve to join one of these sites, it's a good confidence booster, but then again I just don't feel up to meeting anyone at the moment, and I don't want to waste someone's time. I need to lose weight, sort out my debts, then I can do something. I am my own worst enemy really! Am not hugely overweight, my debts are not too bad now, I just can't motivate myself. As you can see am having a down day today!

Sarah, sorry you were having a down dayxx, I have been doing so much thinking my head might explode. I have backed off from thinking about blokes at the moment. feel very unattractive and want to sort myself before I put myself out there again, so much of what you said rings true for me.

xxx

RosaBernicia

Buffy, sounds like you need some of these... :grouphug: :grouphug: (and a bit of a break from the thinking).

Keep us posted Ossireo :j ... sounds like we are all really normal then doesn't it? How come we don't know that??!

I am off to facebook the friend with the lovely flatmate and find out when he's back in the country, thanks for the motivation SarahB.

g'night
RB xx

marleyboy

Can all you lovely ladies on here, please stop worrying about your weight or financial problems when it comes to finding the right man. If a man or woman is only interested in petite, rich, stunners, they really arent worth the bother.

I honestly have to say, that when it comes to finding a partner, it isnt about what make up they wear, how "slim" or how "large" they are (true saying that beauty is skin deep), its how well they get on together, and happy or "loved" they make you feel.

If the right person comes along, "perfect" to your chioce, as well as you being "perfect" to them, would you seriously pass them by because they they wear glasses or have the wrong type of job?

If a person makes you happy, and is committed to keeping you happy. Do you all really think that person wants you to change anything about your appearance, or your finances just to impress THEM, couples stay together out of "want", not because it looks good.

Admittedly I would make the effort to try to impress a potential partner, particularly on a first date, but if they cant accept me for who I am, or what I look like, I would rather remain single, than be forced to change into something i am not, just to satisfy them.

Everybody IS different, but we are ALL human.

ziggles50

hear hear marleyboy biut you know the gremlins always come out in those teeny moments of doubt ant the 'am i good enuf?' question. it's what i call being rationally irrational...

Buffythedebtslayer

I hope all my single friends are off out somewhere meeting interesting people!

I expect details!!!! and soon

xxx

marleyboy

Oh they probably all to busy playing with the fishies