Single and in debt.

completelyspent

Hello all :-)

I've been single in the 'financial sense' for the last nine years! (and in the other sense for large parts of that time but not at the moment). It does take it's toll but I finally took responsibility at the start of last year (it only took me 'til 33 for the penny to drop!!?!).

completelyspent

frugalsparkle wrote: »

Can i join this forum. Too in debt and single. Had a lovely guy showing me interest but i was always afraid of getting too stuck to him so i have drove him away too many times and now he wont come back. He now has new girlfriend but i now know he is the one. its tough but it was my own fault.

Ouch...don't blame yourself for that. If you've been hurt before it is difficult to trust and get close to people. Perhaps this new girlfriend is a rebound thing?

paddlingfuriously

So I went for my solo drink last night - had a lovely glass of wine in the pub garden and read the paper. It was very relaxing.... until my friend rang up in a state about work and then arrived to rant in person! Managed to calm her down with the help of more wine :rolleyes:

Anyway, the solo drink part really wasn't bad - I thought it would be but armed with something to read it was really quite liberating!

Sarah - Starbucks is definitely ok - you should try their dark mocha frappaccino - they are amazing :T (although not very DFW!!)

xx

PrincessPeach_2

paddlingfuriously, thats brilliant - i'm due to do mine tomorrow and will be armed with a good book too.

though i think it will be starbucks too as the bars and pubs are packed on Fridays and i am bound to see faces from my office.

I'll do a coffee first then work up to a bar

PrincessPeach_2

frugalsparkle wrote: »

Can i join this forum. Too in debt and single. Had a lovely guy showing me interest but i was always afraid of getting too stuck to him so i have drove him away too many times and now he wont come back. He now has new girlfriend but i now know he is the one. its tough but it was my own fault.

i've done that before now too - still kick myself to this day about it.

paddlingfuriously

And me! Sometimes I do it without even realising!

Ossireo

You may find that you are definitely not alone on that scenario frugalsparkle. Its definitely a self defence mechanism and a frustrating one that that. Don't give up hope though, as sometimes these things work themselves out over time. :A

Hope78

You giys are all so brave, there's absolutely no way I could go for a solo drink my cheeks are going red even thinking about it. It's a funny thing though I've mega faith and a good dose of confidence in myself professionally but socially - no chance. A work friend commented on it today because i got all nervous asking something in a cafe, said she couldn't believe how good I was at handling work situations but outside work I was shy.

Hope everyone's had a good day!
Hope x

Ossireo

I think sometimes it could be as we can easily hide behind a business face Hope78.

Myself and mum are very similar in that regard, can pull of a confident air in work, but outside of work (even down to the now position of applying for jobs) that confidence evaporates

System

very_silly_and_scared wrote: »

Am really pleased that everyone is embracing the 'go for a drink alone' thing- and Sarahb, of course Starbucks counts for starters...stretch the comfort zone slowly!

I do bars, cinema, theatre, concerts, restaurants, daytrips and even European weekends away on my own....twice in the last year! And a long haul trip too for 7 days...

Not that I am some crazed loner in a big black trench coat, I just figure that if none of my mates want to come to something I really want to go to, if I don't go on my own I miss out! (And even if there was a partner in the picture, I am not sure I would inflict Glen Campbell concerts on him!)

It's not about 'sit in a bar on my own and wait for advances' either...or looking appealing to other people...it's about doing what you want to do... And if it increases your confidence that can only be a good thing surely?!

Wow, you are an inspiration, and dolly dumpling too. I was feeling very sorry for myself last night, after one of those days, and it was lovely to log on today and read so many positive and uplifting posts!