Single and in debt.

runmichellerun

marleyboy wrote: »

I havent braved the "go out alone" stage, I think its harder for blokes , because it makes me look somehow inferior

Not sure I agree with you there. I think a woman on her own might feel more vulnerable than a man on his own.

But think about it, if you see a man, or woman on their own, do you care? Does it make you think that they're inferior?

System

I would have thought it would have been easier for blokes somehow. You often see blokes out on their own. Mind you it is a while since I was out, sad eh! The last time I went out with ex he was on the verge of fighting some bloke that talked to me (the police had to pull him off). Gone off going out since then! Can I be a chicken and go to the gym instead lol. It is even scary doing that :eek: Booked myself in for an induction next week.

sarahb123_3

dollydumpling wrote: »

Oh also Sarahb123, of couse Starbucks is OK. I think that it's all about baby steps; stretching our comfort zones slowly and getting used to it rather than smashing out of them in one go.

For example, I never used to go to the cinema on my own as I used to think that eveyone would see me as a saddo-stood-up-dolly-no-mates but then I was missing out on all the films I wanted to see. So I started going to quiet matinee showings, then built up to evenings during the week, then Sundays etc and I don't even think about it anymore (plus a friend pointed out that it was hugely arrogant to assume that the other patrons of the cinema would prefer to sit looking and talking about me rather than watching the film they've paid to watch!). I've still not braved the Sat/Fri night "couple" showings, that, at the moment is my "no go zone" but y'know, baby steps.....

You are so right, Dolly! There are a lot of wise people on here! One of my bugbears has always been the cinema, I have been a couple of times by myself and felt really awkward, like you I always thought everyone would be looking at me, and of course they aren't, it's just me being over anxious. I think I may give it a go again soon, am sick of waiting for films to come out on dvd! I think I will do as you did, start with quiet times and build it up. Don't think I'll ever do the Friday/Saturday nights though!

You are definitely right about the baby steps out of comfort zones as well, will have to have a think about how to go about that, I know people who hate motorway driving for example, I was terrified the first time I drove on a motorway by myself, and now I am used to it I don't think about it at all.

tylersbabe

Hi

This thread has really cheered me up and I am not even half way thro :eek: , was begining to think I was the only 36 year old singleton out there.

Can relate to lots of posts on here about going out on your own and familys, my Gran even offered me the money she had saved for my wedding present as I was "obviously never going to get married" and that was when I was 21:rotfl: .

Well off to read rest of thread now

System

tylersbabe wrote: »

Hi

Gran even offered me the money she had saved for my wedding present as I was "obviously never going to get married" and that was when I was 21:rotfl: .

A different generation I guess :eek:. did you take the money and buy something fab lol :rotfl:

marleyboy

runmichellerun wrote: »

Not sure I agree with you there. I think a woman on her own might feel more vulnerable than a man on his own.

But think about it, if you see a man, or woman on their own, do you care? Does it make you think that they're inferior?

True, I guess thats why most women go out in groups, and blokes go out in groups, making it less obvious if they are single or not, but if I were to go out on my own, and just sit there on a table with a pint, im not going to look that appealing to anyone. Likewise should I see a woman sat at the table oppositte, in the same situation, I still wouldnt know how to approach her, even for just company for that moment.

marleyboy

tylersbabe wrote: »

Hi

This thread has really cheered me up and I am not even half way thro :eek: , was begining to think I was the only 36 year old singleton out there.

Can relate to lots of posts on here about going out on your own and familys, my Gran even offered me the money she had saved for my wedding present as I was "obviously never going to get married" and that was when I was 21:rotfl: .

Well off to read rest of thread now

Welcome to the thread, you just made me think, I never got married, and I dont know why. I guess I just see it as just a sheet of paper with a hell load of problems if it ever collapses

tylersbabe

rachelja wrote: »

A different generation I guess :eek:. did you take the money and buy something fab lol :rotfl:

Yeah I was so stunned at the time, she just handed over £100 and off I went partying, with images of "spinster of this parish" being printed on a tomb stone by my beloved family:rotfl:

System

marleyboy wrote: »

Welcome to the thread, you just made me think, I never got married, and I dont know why. I guess I just see it as just a sheet of paper with a hell load of problems if it ever collapses

Think you just answered your own question. Have to agree with you on this one.

marleyboy

rachelja wrote: »

Think you just answered your own question. Have to agree with you on this one.

I think that would only matter if you were planning a family.