Single and in debt.

paddlingfuriously

turnmylifearound wrote: »

I'm 25 and single. AND I owe about £25k.

I decided that I had to do something about it at the weekend and opened up all the statements but haven't had the chance to do my SOA yet.

I'm so pleased that there are other people around to give me moral support, as I'm too ashamed to tell all my friends.

I'll be doing my SOA and posting on these boards more often so look out for me!

D :doh:

Hello! No judgement here - feel free to unload anytime. Good luck with your SOA - you'll get so much help and advice on here. Keep posting on this thread too - the more of us singletons there are sticking together the better!

xx

marleyboy

Ossireo wrote: »

Now this guy is telling me pretty much that depression doesn't exist and the clutter I am trying to wade through is merely me having a cant be assed attitude.

Am I wrong in not actually wanting sympathy, but still expecting a degree of respect about how crap the last few years have been :rotfl: or am I being unreasonable to let this get my back up a bit

Your wrong in allowing someone to dictate how you feel to you. Of course depression exists, I just dont think the answers to depression lie in a tablet (anti depressants), as they dont solve the reasons for depression, they just hide it. Its how we deal with it that matters.

Forget the past (note my sig below), history only lives in memories and all bad memories are just negative emotions, its so hard to think positive, when surrounded by negativity. I constantly remind myself that there are people far worse off than me, (ethopia, Zimbabwe I could list many more, but you know what im saying).

My mother is blind, so I thank god I am blessed with sight, sense and ability, Whenever I feel depressed.

Ive always made the most of what little I am. Yes I cry, but also I laugh, I get sad, but also get happy. There are times I dont know wether to laugh or cry, but I dont cry about that.

I dont want sympathy or pity, I want a life. Ive been single now for 18 Months, agreed its minutes in comparison to some people, but its a life I dont want, as it serves no purpose to me being alone. I want my life to have relevance (going to work to feed myself is only relevant to me), I want to be able to share my life with someone, not spend the rest of it living in a shell.

I want to be able to enjoy the fruits of life, but the sweetness of the fruit is the sharing of the experience.

Ossireo

We always seem to manage to get our wires completely crossed dont we Marleyboy :rolleyes:

T hats my point in that I am moving forward and dealing with things and not dwelling on the past. I have always looked at life in so far as to be blessed with what I have, which is partly why I found the Depression/Anxiety/Paranoia so hugely frustrating as I felt there must be something behind it as I am naturally a fighter (get that from my gran) but the get up and go was just not there (even more frustrating!) and to think something so small as a hormone implant can have such an effect it rather scary.

However to have someone in your life who would not understand or respect the impact of those 6 years is a bit close to having someone dismiss a part of your life that made you who you are. I would respect my OHs past experiences and understand that's part of what made them who they are today.

Bleh anyway, I am sure you can see that I really suck at expressing myself so I shall stop now as I am probably making it worse.

Hope78

turnmylifearound wrote: »

I'm 25 and single. AND I owe about £25k.

I decided that I had to do something about it at the weekend and opened up all the statements but haven't had the chance to do my SOA yet.

I'm so pleased that there are other people around to give me moral support, as I'm too ashamed to tell all my friends.

I'll be doing my SOA and posting on these boards more often so look out for me!

D :doh:

Welcome! :hello: You've chosen a super username and with the help of folk on here that's exactly what you'll do.

marleyboy

Ossireo wrote: »

We always seem to manage to get our wires completely crossed dont we Marleyboy :rolleyes:

T hats my point in that I am moving forward and dealing with things and not dwelling on the past. I have always looked at life in so far as to be blessed with what I have, which is partly why I found the Depression/Anxiety/Paranoia so hugely frustrating as I felt there must be something behind it as I am naturally a fighter (get that from my gran) but the get up and go was just not there (even more frustrating!) and to think something so small as a hormone implant can have such an effect it rather scary.

However to have someone in your life who would not understand or respect the impact of those 6 years is a bit close to having someone dismiss a part of your life that made you who you are. I would respect my OHs past experiences and understand that's part of what made them who they are today.

Bleh anyway, I am sure you can see that I really suck at expressing myself so I shall stop now as I am probably making it worse.

I think you have mis-read me hun, I only meant you was wrong by allowing someone to tell you that your depression is in your head I didnt mean it as to contradict you in anyway xx

very_silly_and_scared

dollydumpling wrote: »

35, London.

I was thinking about this thread today and came to the conclusion that despite the tears and heartbreak my life is better for having met all the men I have been out with. This includes the one who was dating my friend at the same time, the one who ended up chucking himself off of a building coked out of his head thinking he could fly and the one who dumped me 2 days before Christmas (and of course, being the sucker I am I still dropped £300 worth of presents round at his Mums on Xmas eve!).

And thinking all of that made me really happy; that despite the tears and heartbreak I learnt something about myself from being with each of them and each one had something fabulous about them.

Does that make sense? I guess what I am saying is that although I am single with no kids and sometimes feel that I've got things wrong, I realised today that if I were given the option of having met "the one" at age 20 and settled down with 2.4 I wouldn't take it as that would mean not having the fun and angst and drama that I've had over the years from dating the wronguns.

Thanks for all your stories on this thread which have helped me realise this.

DD xx

I absolutely 100% agree with you on this and I feel EXACTLY the same way. What a fabulous way of putting it.... Thanks!!!

sarahb123_3

bebebelle wrote: »

Hi all,

I thought I was the only thirtysomething ...no house ...no kids.....no nothing really ,type left in the UK.This thread is just fabulous.I have decided to deal with my mindless spending, and stop buying (tons) of rubbish I dont need. My weakness is overpriced cosmetics, and Im surrounded by a mountain of various lotions and potions that are still new in boxes (Ebay here it comes) . Yet I am have having to be very thrifty at the supermarket ,and cant really afford anything else,even afford lunch for work .
I think I have had what you call a lightbulb moment.

Im 33 in a few weeks ,and feel a little low about having nothing apart from a pile of perfume.

Hi bebebelle, I always thought I was the only no house, no kids, no nothing one as well! Always feel so awkward about revealing my circumstances to people, it's difficult to explain how I got here and I always end up telling people I am happy to be single, when I'm not, so it doesn't look like another thing I can't manage.

I also have a pile, mine is books, shoes, make-up and bags, on top of the obligatory perfume!

sarahb123_3

Mupeteer wrote: »

OMG! How can people say that depression doesn't exist?:mad: :mad: :mad:
People that say stuff like that make me soooooo mad! I've suffered with depression for years now and have had my share of people telling me to pull myself together and that I'm making it all up. Generally, I find that these are the people who have never had a bad thing happen to them in their entire life. They've never had to battle debt or suffered the bereavement of someone close.
I truly believe that by battling through these things and still being here we have all learned something valuable and that we have gained skills to deal with new stuff - not always well or quickly but at least we know we can do it eventually. Pity help those insensitive idiots when something does go wrong for them, as it surely will.

Rant over!

Grrrr! I so hate being told to pull myself together, as if it was that easy! Well said Mupeteer, agree with everything you say.

runmichellerun

sarahb123 wrote: »

Grrrr! I so hate being told to pull myself together, as if it was that easy! Well said Mupeteer, agree with everything you say.

Couldn't you just slap the people who say 'smile, it may never happen!'?

marleyboy

You have made a point I didnt realise, I too have a pile "take my mind off things pile", its mainly my artwork, doodles, or photos. My job involves design, art is a hobby so I do love my work. And I have found (from reading this thread) that I have been spending a lot more time at home doing just that, the benefits of course are if I create something I could use at work. Its a small solice, but effective.