Single and in debt.

Lula-Hula

Hello fabby peeps,

Ossireo, I dont actually have the patience, I' ve been suckered by a very convincing power & manipulation exercise.When xbf got all insistetn I would end up saying that we could meet up everyo so often to walk the dog, but insisted that he wasnt coming here or getting involved with DD . He would agree & then go quiet for a couple of days. Having the benefit of PaulGBDFs :A experience & advice I realised what xbf was doing & that he would never accept just being friends, he just said that to try to slip back in control again :mad: . His behaviour on saturday night just proved that was what he was doing. His email said that I was behaving oddly & he'd been out for drive & just though of popping in :rolleyes: .

1 - He rang my home phone first & couple of times & then when I didnt answer immediately came over ( i know how long it takes to drive here :rolleyes: ) & started calling from his mobile which was when I spotted the car.

2- He completely ignored what I said about coming here.

3 - He wanted to know where I was if not at home

4 - He lied about his reason for showing up.

Conclusive proof of everything that PaulGBDF :A said. Once I knew this I wasnt swayed by the emotional blackmail of " things are really stressful at home" or " I'm very lonely & I just need a friend" or " I'm very fragile at the moment". As his grip on my conscience eased I felt less & less scared of him & more p!ssed off at how he was just trying to manipulate me.

the fact that his last email was just two words repeated over & over & also arranged into an inverted pyramid says to me that he knows that I'm gone & I dont care what he says or does anymore.

I cant really express just how much I appreciate all your help & support with this, it's been really really hard to deal with & if it wasnt for you guys I'd probably still be giving in - on the phone anyway- & would never have escaped.

No contact at all today :j

Session with the counsellor was ok too

:iloveyou: guys

lula
xx

TDQO

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Hello fabby peeps,

Ossireo, I dont actually have the patience, I' ve been suckered by a very convincing power & manipulation exercise.When xbf got all insistetn I would end up saying that we could meet up everyo so often to walk the dog, but insisted that he wasnt coming here or getting involved with DD . He would agree & then go quiet for a couple of days. Having the benefit of PaulGBDFs :A experience & advice I realised what xbf was doing & that he would never accept just being friends, he just said that to try to slip back in control again :mad: . His behaviour on saturday night just proved that was what he was doing. His email said that I was behaving oddly & he'd been out for drive & just though of popping in :rolleyes: .

1 - He rang my home phone first & couple of times & then when I didnt answer immediately came over ( i know how long it takes to drive here :rolleyes: ) & started calling from his mobile which was when I spotted the car.

2- He completely ignored what I said about coming here.

3 - He wanted to know where I was if not at home

4 - He lied about his reason for showing up.

Conclusive proof of everything that PaulGBDF :A said. Once I knew this I wasnt swayed by the emotional blackmail of " things are really stressful at home" or " I'm very lonely & I just need a friend" or " I'm very fragile at the moment". As his grip on my conscience eased I felt less & less scared of him & more p!ssed off at how he was just trying to manipulate me.

the fact that his last email was just two words repeated over & over & also arranged into an inverted pyramid says to me that he knows that I'm gone & I dont care what he says or does anymore.

I cant really express just how much I appreciate all your help & support with this, it's been really really hard to deal with & if it wasnt for you guys I'd probably still be giving in - on the phone anyway- & would never have escaped.

No contact at all today :j

Session with the counsellor was ok too

:iloveyou: guys

lula
xx

Massive hugs for you Lula, hope you sort this out soon as possible. Remember that restraining orders are easy to obtain...

PinkTwirl

:hello: Hi,

I thought I'd pop in and say hello! I've been really busy, which is a good thing, I hope everyone is doing well

TDQO

PinkTwirl wrote: »

:hello: Hi,

I thought I'd pop in and say hello! I've been really busy, which is a good thing, I hope everyone is doing well

Ello ello ello, it's been a while... what have you been up to?

sarahb123_3

Lula, big hugs, hope you are ok, am glad that what Paul said resonated with you and has helped you see what this nutter is up to, the fact that you know his mummy could put a stop to it is quite telling, I think we are dealing with a very silly and immature man rather than someone actually frightening but even so ... do you think (i'm sure you may have said this before? ) that mummy thinks you would be a good influence on a man who has a lot of problems, and invented the aerial problem as a means of getting you two in touch again?

If you haven't already, I would let him know that you are keeping a log of all incidents and copy of his emails incase you ever need to take it further, he may respond with he isn't actually doing anything illegal, just remind him the sheer volume of attempting to contact you counts as harrassment and you have a child to think of.

You should not be under siege in your own home. Where is it going to end? His mother hasn't responded to your message and he is still doing it. This needs nipping in the bud before it gets worse. I would contact the police if I wrre you, I know it's not what you want, but even if he stops now, he will regroup as he quite clearly thinks that you are contollable or that he can wear you down. He is not listening to you. So you need to shout louder.

I think a call to the police may be the best option, they can have a word with him, make it clear that there are no charges at this stage, but that he is now known to them. I f they go to his house mummy will almost cetainly know and this may be the warning she needs. I suspect she has been thinking along the lines of you would be good for her son, the knowledge that the police are involve may put an end to that. I really do think if the police have a word it will stop as they sound like a bunch of cowards trying their luck.

makeup

Hey Lula - well done on the whole xbf thing....can imagine could easily be very frightening ....or as you were saying, way too easy to get caught up in his manipulation and deception. Fingers crossed that he has now finally got the message and has left the horrid emails and drive-bys alone!

Hey TDQO - hope you manage to make your new flat a bit more home-like soon. When do you actually move in??

Hugs to everyone else - esp. Bathgate - it is so rubbish when you feel like that, I've been there myself, but believe me things aren't as bad as you think. You have a lot of positives working for you and I hope you feel better soon.

sarahb123_3

TDQ, thank goodness you are ok, was worried you had fallen into a glory hole:D

Sorry to hear about crappy accom, but at least you are on your way:j

Lula-Hula

TDQO wrote: »

Massive hugs for you Lula, hope you sort this out soon as possible. Remember that restraining orders are easy to obtain...

Thanks hon,

it's all good, now the guilt's gone, I dont give a toss :cool:

Pink Twirl - good to hear from you, was wondering where you'd gone, glad to hear you've been busy too

Shoe Gal - hurray for Spain & you've just reminded me that I need to wear a bikini in 6 months:eek:

TDQO - when do you do the move to your new luxuriously minimalist crib :rotfl:

sarahb123_3

PinkTwirl wrote: »

:hello: Hi,

I thought I'd pop in and say hello! I've been really busy, which is a good thing, I hope everyone is doing well

Hi Pink Twirl, hope things are going well for you x

TDQO

sarahb123 wrote: »

TDQ, thank goodness you are ok, was worried you had fallen into a glory hole:D

Sorry to hear about crappy accom, but at least you are on your way:j

Haha, glory hole, that always puts a smile on my ugly mug :rotfl:

I'm going back down there tomorrow to lug as much as I can physically carry on the train. Will probably go to the local supermarket and do a bit of shopping for kitchen stuff like a kettle n toaster n stuff. Am waiting to see if the company will give me a nice big cash advance to buy it all with or whether I'm going to have to beg, borrow and steal :rolleyes: