Single and in debt.

InkyCats20

Right I'm off to bed - made the mistake of moving some furniture out of the loft on my own - back is killing me - so I'm going to bed with my trusty hot water bottle - poor old me :rotfl:
Night, night folks

Lula-Hula

Paul -

thank you so much for your support & advice, I really appreciate you sharing your experience & hope it's not bringin back your nightmares. At the moment I'm more amazed than fearful & I totally agree with what you said about any reaction being what he wanted. He's really not aggressive at all although the whole relationship was a power struggle. 6 months into it I lost my mum which had a huge effect on me in terms of confidence & he totally gained control of me, it was when I started to get better that i realised he had to go. He's like a spoilt child & as yet i havent told his mummy what he's doing which is the step i take before the police.

Shoe_Gal

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Paul -

thank you so much for your support & advice, I really appreciate you sharing your experience & hope it's not bringin back your nightmares. At the moment I'm more amazed than fearful & I totally agree with what you said about any reaction being what he wanted. He's really not aggressive at all although the whole relationship was a power struggle. 6 months into it I lost my mum which had a huge effect on me in terms of confidence & he totally gained control of me, it was when I started to get better that i realised he had to go. He's like a spoilt child & as yet i havent told his mummy what he's doing which is the step i take before the police.

If he would be more scared of his mum than the police that probably explains a lot :rolleyes: but maybe it's the way you should go? Paul is right - it can be a very fine line before it gets out of hand

Take care

Shoe Gal x

bathgatebuyer

Thanks for everyone's kind words. It's good to know I'm not a complete cow just for finding it difficult to be mates with someone who has kids! I think her kids are great - as far as kids go - but it's more hassle than it's worth meeting her. I always leave feeling really frustrated and that the 140 mile round trip to see her when I end up blowing up kids balloons for a party or something instead of being able to actually talk to her feels a bit of a waste, especially when my Mum's cousin was so ill and I wanted someone to talk to. She is a stay at home Mum - gets everything on a plate for herself too as she's from a very well-to-do family so has no mortgage (house was a wedding present!) and doesn't always understand life from my point of view, "Why not just go to bars and things and you'll meet a partner" was not one of her better pieces of advice!

I think people on here probably are right. Best mates or not, they aren't doing me any favours and I guess from their points of view, the fact that they've been in my life for the past 27 years doesn't mean that they should stay part of it for good.

It probably is time to cut those ties and just let the friendship disappear. I've been in Edinburgh for 10 years now, and have 1 mate through here, but he's a reasonably good (but married so can't be too close as mates in case the gossips start!) mate too. I guess I need to get my fat lardy !!!! out and try and meet more people rather than clinging onto old friends just because they are convenient.

Right - new month's resolution. Ignore all texts, phone calls, emails, bebos and facebook messages from old friends and Godsons! Let's see where this new tactic takes me - maybe I'll make more of an effort if I absolutely have to!!!!

sarahb123_3

BGB, your sig has just reminded me, you never did tell us how you won a snog:D

bathgatebuyer

LulaHula, I would definitely keep notes about this guy. I know someone who had similar problems with a guy and it happened it at her work. She was his secretary and he would call her all hours of the day and night. Eventually she forwarded the 167 emails he sent her in one day (no joke, in a day!) to the office manager who then took it to HR. It's suprisingly common.

I've never had anyone that obssessed about me before!

bathgatebuyer

sarahb123 wrote: »

BGB, your sig has just reminded me, you never did tell us how you won a snog:D

I still don't know what it is - I think it's an ice-cream or a yoghurt or something (unfortunately!) :rolleyes: What I woldn't give for a proper passionate, no holds barred snog right now I think the last one was when I was 19 and I'm now................um....................32 It's been a while!

eco

I've never had anyone that obssessed about me either, probably cos i make it clear it's best to stay away.

BGB at least you know we'll listen if you want to rant, and your right it's time to get out and meet new people.

Shoe_Gal

bathgatebuyer wrote: »

I've been in Edinburgh for 10 years now, and have 1 mate through here, but he's a reasonably good (but married so can't be too close as mates in case the gossips start!) mate too. I guess I need to get my fat lardy !!!! out and try and meet more people rather than clinging onto old friends.

Right - new month's resolution. Ignore all texts, phone calls, emails, bebos and facebook messages from old friends and Godsons! Let's see where this new tactic takes me - maybe I'll make more of an effort if I have to!!!!

Sorry if this sounds a bit 'self helpy' but do you not have chancs to meet people through work etc?

I am generally happy with my own company and don't subscribe to the view that all single people are lonely but I could not survive without my group of friends.

I, too have friends who have been around for years and in a few cases we are not as close as we used to be because our lives are now very different - going back to the marriage/kids thing. However, I have friends who I have met more recently, mainly through work, who are more in tune with my life now. And of course, I have - mainly male (!) - friends who share my love of football - and my new friends on here!!!

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that friendships change throughout life and that some friends only share one thing in common with you - like me and football - but those friendships can all bring something to your life

You sound like a lovely person who would make a very loyal friend. However, maybe, you just need a few 'lite' friends too, to have some fun with? It's got to be better than jumping the Powergen man!! :rotfl:

Take care

Shoe Gal x

Lula-Hula

Good to hear you sounding more positive BGB - the friend with kids sound rather self absorbed & that's along way to go to blow up balloons :eek: .


Just to let all you lovely caring people know ... I've sent an email to xbf's mother just letting her know that he's behaving strangely & that if it continues I will contact the police.

I dont want to dump this on her but do wonder if there's a very good reason why she lets him live at home still & it was her wanting the stupid aerial that sparked all this off again :mad: I hadnt heard from him for months before that :rolleyes:

I do appreciate your concern you are all very fabby lovelies :A