Single and in debt.

sarahb123_3

Paulgonnabedebtfree wrote: »

Sarah. Not trying to tell you how to do it but I would recommend the method advocated by Paul McKenna. If you have Living TV, channel, they are re-running it over the next few days. I was watching it and straight away thought "Yes. I can do that" and I'm quite a sceptic.

Do you mean "I Can Make You Thin?" The man's a bloody liar. Or it might be that I have no willpower. I am actually trying that one (again), having exhausted all other possibilities (again) before Christmas. You're right, it does make you think "I can do that." I am having trouble trying to eat slowly as I usually just bolt everything down. I have remembered a few times so I'm getting better, I shall see tomorrow when I weigh myself if it is working. Will be brilliant if it does work though:D

SuSu1871

Paulgonnabedebtfree wrote: »

Well I believe that my parents were severely damaging for me too. I forgive them because I realise that they didn't know any better. However, forgiving them does not equate to allowing myself to continue to be infested by their mixed up beliefs.

I guess the thing with parents is that no-one gives you an instruction book do they? They teach you all the practical baby stuff like feeding and changing nappies, but not the important stuff about how what you say/do can seriously affect the way your child sees themself and the world around them.

I'd understand my mother more if she was an all-round bad parent, but she has been quite open about her dislike of girls and she's always treated my brothers like saints-in-waiting and me more like, well... I read something years ago about mothers being jealous of their daughters, and I was a bit of a daddy's girl, so

sarahb123_3

Have checked the tv pages and there is not much on tonight so it looks like I will be tidying and decluttering instead. :rolleyes: I just cannot get motivated at the moment, especailly as I need a chair from the kitchen to reach to top of my wardrobe and I don't want to leave the room, it's too cold!

Am wondering if there is any correlation between our single status and our problems with our mothers? Maybe a trust issue? I certainly think it makes a difference if you spend your childhood knowing there is nobody there for you. I think even as an adult, having that kind of background gives you a certain lack of confidence. I always get annoyed, if that's the right word, when I see people who are close to their mothers actually being with them and getting on. I cannot even imagine that situation.

SuSu1871

hmm... interesting theory about the mother making us single thing. Can't see it for myself, though, tbh. I don't know what my reasons are for being single, but can't see how that's got to do with my mother. I mean, yeah, she used to do all she could to keep my confidence low, but I haven't felt her influence on me in over 10 years, and my now confidence grows year on year, and I've still been single for most of those 10 years.

Nah, I think I'm single because I got my heart smashed once too often then closed the doors for a couple of years. I've only recently come back out into the playing field, so I think I just need to relearn all my old techniques

I'm going to disappear off for a while now. Still having issues with my neck and using the pooter's beginning to hurt me. Also, I've just found that Shrinkwrapped episode on 4OD where Dr Pamela Connelly interviews Billy Connelly. Will kick back and watch that for a bit, take some painkillers and catch up with you later, see how you been getting on with your decluttering!

Tata for now

runmichellerun

Date's cancelled :mad: Really annoyed as he left it to the last minute to tell me. Apparently he's not over his ex and doesn't want to waste my time. Could have bl00dy worked that out before now couldn't he???

So now I'm stuck in AGAIN after he let me down last minute last night too. All my friends already have plans. So the wine will come out again. And I shall be thankful that I have had a lucky escape.

As for the mum conversation, I have had a strange upbringing where my parents split up when i was 5 and my dad bought me up. So I'm much closer to him than my mum, who guilt trips me as much as she can. I can't cut her out of my life though, I'd feel much too guilty

Shoe_Gal

Hi everybody :hello:

Sorry, have to disagree with the mother/relationship thing. I am terminally single but have a great relationship with my mum. In fact, I couldn't survive without her, whether it's feeding me, 'lending' me the odd tenner (which she will never accept back) or just listening to my lonely ramblings

I've looked at tonite's telly lisiting - and my chores have started to look appealing! Usually do stuff on Saturday morning but went to work this morning. I don't usually work Saturdays or get paid overtime (!) but I am project managing a big event and I don't think now is the time to appear not to be on top of things. Already been redundancies so don't exactly feel safe at the moment

Had my nails does this afternoon then had a quick look round the shops. DFW by default as everything I liked was for when my diet has succeeded - which it must. Only bought 'Boots' essentials and paid for my nails! Have promised myself a clothing treat when I have lost half a stone, hope it keeps me motivated!

Buffythedebtslayer

evening all

Minus strictly tv is a bit crap isn't it.

I don't know about the Mum thing, I love my mum even tho we drive each completely insane and nuts. we are very similar. I often think my very early childhood was so perfect that everything else will just never live up to it!! Being a teenager was ok, then I became obssessed with being fat and never having a boyfriend and politics. and then I started teaching got into debt and so am here!

sad eh?

I am having toast for dinner as I havent felt right all day. seems to happen a lot at the weekend. hmmm. not doing anything for the next couple of weekends = NSD 's all good!

and I have managed to avoid evil shopping! went to the bakers but that was for food!! so you know kinda of essential. honest.

now must mark books must think of the sense of achievement i will have xx

sarahb123_3

Celebrity Big Brother is on later, the only thing I want to watch really. Will have to have a look on iplayer and see if there is anything else worth watching. Thankfully crap telly means I have to get on with my chores. Have tidied the top of my wardrobe, haven't dared open it yet:eek: , and the top of one bookcase. Am having a break with coffee and a mini roll, had 50% extra free, am still on the free ones so they don't count:D

RosaBernicia

Hi all

Been lurking the last couple of days as rushing around, look what I've been missing tho!

I'm an only child and also have an odd relationship with my mum. We're sort of friends now as I decided not to cut her out of my life, too many other people I wanted to see would have also been affected. But I know exactly what you mean, Sarah, about having nobody there for you. And no expectation of it because I've never been used to it. I think it probably has influenced my expectations - partly through being so used to doing everything myself, and partly through having no positive 'role model' couple. I shall shut up on the subject before I start to ramble.

RMR sorry to hear about your cancelled date but I think you're right it's better to escape now!

No more news from me, haven't organised anything for tonight as driving lesson tomorrow morning. So just pootling and may even get round to cooking something.

Rosa xx

eco

On the mum subject i did have a good relationship with my mum, we had the same stupid sense of humour, but she wasn't the kind of mum who hugged us a lot, i once said to someone if my brother asked for a hug i'd think there was something up with him, she hated my dad and made that clear, eventually divorcing him, i didn't like my dad, and i grew up as the middle child doing my own thing a lot of the time, so i don't reckon a lots changed i still prefer my own space.

RMR thats carp, but better to know now rather than later.