Single and in debt.

sarahb123_3

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

Right so you want the agonising !!!! feeling when you havne't got a bloody clue what is happening and you wonder why the freaking hell can't he just wake up and realise we should be together or why I can't move away change jobs and never see him again!

no its horrible. I 'd rather not have this! cos i shall go to bed and check my phone and he won't have texted and I 'll go to bed miserable trying really hard to list the good things in my life, when all I honestly want is him.
feel pathetic

xxx

Read it again, I meant I wanted the bits where it goes well!

I know what you mean, when that happens all I can do is tell myself that I have thought that about other people before, and I might do again. And the right one for me won't make me feel like that. Not exactly helpful I know, but it's all a learning curve, I have spent hours, weeks, months agonizing over people. And the only thing that ever stopped it in every case was never ever seeing them again. I know it's hard, but could you try it? He knows where to find you if he wants to. Let him find you and get a promise from him about how things will be. If they are not up to the standards you deserve, refuse to see him. Keep refusing till you get what you want. If he can't offer that, he's not the one.

I know you know all this, and I know it's bloody hard. Much easier said than done. But is having no one really much worse than what you are going through now. Believe me, I know exactly how you feel right this very minute. I know it's !!!!!!. But think ahead. Are you going to let yourself feel like this next xmas? What about the one after that? The only reason I can now think about getting a new boyfriend was because I got out of the situation you are in now. Let him go, and if he comes back with a better offer, consider it. But don't keep considering the same offer. Once again am v v sorry if this is sounding preachy. I almost think I am talking to myself rather than you here. I know that if someone had said that to me I would have agreed with it, but I wouldn't have done anything about it, but hopefully you might be better at that sort of thing than I am.

Bowski_1011

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I keep my phone on slient, so I am not jumpy waiting for it bleep.......

thank you honxxxxxxxxxx

p.s for the record you aren't rubbish at making people feel better, you are fabxxx

Thankyou for that buffy

Lula would kill me for saying such a thing... Or at least she would if she wasn't so f**kin fabulous...So I may be safe

As for having the phone on silent....mine is automatically on vibrate when on silent and that's noisy enough in itself so it doesn't quite work

Goodnight everyone....I was going to have an early night tonite as per usual it's not happened! I might aswell stay up another 15 mins now and watch my money go in the bank before I have to pay it all out tomorrow :mad:

sarahb123_3

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

If there is a guy out there for us then great. [STRIKE]if not also great[/STRIKE].

I have corrected your post for you, Buffy:D

sarahb123_3

SuSu1871 wrote: »

Nah, I don't think I want a long term b/f, just a series of 6-8 month flings!

I think I might start off with one of those, just for a bit of practice:D

Bowski_1011

sarahb123 wrote: »

I have corrected your post for you, Buffy:D

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Buffythedebtslayer

sarahb123 wrote: »

Read it again, I meant I wanted the bits where it goes well!

I know what you mean, when that happens all I can do is tell myself that I have thought that about other people before, and I might do again. And the right one for me won't make me feel like that. Not exactly helpful I know, but it's all a learning curve, I have spent hours, weeks, months agonizing over people. And the only thing that ever stopped it in every case was never ever seeing them again. I know it's hard, but could you try it? He knows where to find you if he wants to. Let him find you and get a promise from him about how things will be. If they are not up to the standards you deserve, refuse to see him. Keep refusing till you get what you want. If he can't offer that, he's not the one.

I know you know all this, and I know it's bloody hard. Much easier said than done. But is having no one really much worse than what you are going through now. Believe me, I know exactly how you feel right this very minute. I know it's !!!!!!. But think ahead. Are you going to let yourself feel like this next xmas? What about the one after that? The only reason I can now think about getting a new boyfriend was because I got out of the situation you are in now. Let him go, and if he comes back with a better offer, consider it. But don't keep considering the same offer. Once again am v v sorry if this is sounding preachy. I almost think I am talking to myself rather than you here. I know that if someone had said that to me I would have agreed with it, but I wouldn't have done anything about it, but hopefully you might be better at that sort of thing than I am.

its not preachy, I should be more open about the situation then I am being, I just don't want every bit of personal life here!

I know now I would go out with some one else if they asked me. I know once I am debt free and can change jobs he won't be there( he doesn't work with me, just down the road!) but truthfully I do love him and I don't do the chasing, he does do all the running all the effort to see me, has kept in touch a weekly basis for years, backed off when I have asked, been there through some horrible times. he(and to some extent me too) goes so far but no further and we are both busy (excuse) and bruised(real reason) but we circle and date and he is the first person I call in a crisis and he is always there. always.

when I was miserable over Christmas, and he had texted to say happy christmas he stayed in touch all of Christmas and boxing day reminding me that I am ok and I wasn't alone.he didn't have to do that.

so its not straightforward he isn't a git. he is a nice guy just not one that likes me!

And our lives will be fab without a boyfriend so there!

now for real good night xxxxxxxxxxxx

sarahb123_3

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

so its not straightforward he isn't a git. he is a nice guy just not one that likes me!

I know he isn't a git:D I remember some of your previous posts about him, I'm certainly not criticising him and he does like you! I know it's not straightforward. I'm happy for you that he texted, I love that feeling:D

Well, they say the best way to get over one man is to get under another:D so I'm glad you are thinking about that too.;)

Night Night xxx

runmichellerun

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I keep my phone on slient, so I am not jumpy waiting for it bleep.......

Right, just caught up with this thread, Wish I had been there last night because I am exactly the same as you all. When i don't like a guy that much, I'm happy to leave it for days at a time and they always come running.

But when I like a guy, I don't like to take the risk so tend to start clinging and becoming more desperate. Of course, the men realise that and I lose them.

As for the mobile phone thing, I sometimes keep mine on silent or even turn it off for a few hours when I'm feeling like I've really lost control of a situation. Of course, to turn it on again and not have a text waiting for you is almost as bad, but at least I've had a few hours of brain peace when I knew my phone wouldn't go off.

I agree with Sarah as well with regards the cutting someone off completely thing - it's the only way I can get over someone. Having them still in my life doesn't work because as soon as they find someone new, I'm going to be jealous regardless of whether I broke it off or still like them or not, because in my warped mind they should still like me!!! So the only way to not feel like that is to just not know about what's going on in their lives.

Reading the thread this morning has genuinely helped me feel like I'm not the only one who gets like this. I fortunately don't feel like that towards anyone at the moment, but I have a date this Friday :eek: and someone I know is trying to set me up with their nephew :eek: so I might see him too. Who knows what the future holds...

runmichellerun

JazzyJeff wrote: »

Hi everyone :j

I hope i'm not intruding, new to MSE, but I a single man and would like to join your chats if that's ok?

Not really in debt but does that matter too much?

JJ xx

Yes, please do join in. Can you offer a male perspective on the last few pages as well?

p.s. Lucky you not being in debt. :beer:

eco

hi All and JazzyJeff,
Looks like I bailed out a bit early last night but i was tired, mobiles really are the work of the devil, which is why we can't live without them now, going to have a NSD today and really start to learn to save money, it's my resolution so if i keep typing it i will remember it, hope everyones having a good day today and at least it's warmer.