Single and in debt.

SuSu1871

Brilliant news bathgate!!

:j :j :j

SuSu1871

I don't know who's online right now, but I had to put this out there for advice later...

Remember the "dirty texter" from last week? Well we've been in touch this week via IM (instant messager) - we have to be in touch because of work - and, well, he's asked me out again.

The thing is, I liked him after our first (and only) meeting, and this is the first time in literally years that I've liked someone and he's liked me back. He just naused it up by the whole text thing.

I told him that what he said in the text was completely out of order, that that's not the way to win a girl round, and did he seriously think I'd respond to it by getting on the M25 and driving 2 hours for a quicky? I said it had put me right off him and that it'd take "something amazing" to win me back round.

But... he apologised profusely, admitted he'd been out of order, kept persevering and eventually wore me down before I agreed to go out with him. Although, I have to admit that I did it with a wry smile on my face :rolleyes:

I said I couldn't see him this weekend (I'm not actually busy but didn't want him to know that!) and I'm away next Weds - Sunday, so he's going to have to wait till w/c 8 Dec.

Thing is, I've been out of the dating game for so long that my head's a bit :undecided I go from thinking that I've got the upper hand because he came running to me and I now get to call the shots (to an extent) to thinking that he's "won" because I've agreed to go out with him. Whaddya think?? Should I give him a chance to redeem himself??

Oh gawd I'm so carp at this game!!

PinkTwirl

As long as you string him along and certainly don't give him anything physical for a long time! I wouldn't trust him as it sounds like he was only after one thng to begin with. Personally, it would put me right off him full stop, but as long as you protect youself, then why not.

Don't mean to be harsh, just hate these types of guys. Full of self-love and little respect for others (can you tell I've been burned? :rolleyes: )

PinkTwirl

bathgatebuyer wrote: »

Way hay!!! Good news, I got my car tyre fixed for nothing today - solely by buying the first Scottish person in the garage on St Andrews Day. So, puncture repaired, new valve and a winter check done for nothing solely because I sound like a Proclaimer. Woo hoo!!!

(Practicising my Diana wonky hand and schreeching at the endeeching of everyeeching sentenceeching for Mondayeeching - GET HER OFF!)

So there is something good about being Scottish after all then? All I seemed to get were people making fun of my accent!

SuSu1871

PinkTwirl wrote: »

As long as you string him along and certainly don't give him anything physical for a long time! I wouldn't trust him as it sounds like he was only after one thng to begin with. Personally, it would put me right off him full stop, but as long as you protect youself, then why not.

Don't mean to be harsh, just hate these types of guys. Full of self-love and little respect for others (can you tell I've been burned? :rolleyes: )

I know what you mean, and I've been burnt before which, peversely, is why I'm giving this guy a chance. I've played it so safe for years and it's kept me safe, but single, and I'm bored of being single. I'm also bored of being the one who makes the moves but gets told that "I really like you, but..." and "let's just be friends..." So, this guy likes me, I like him and I'm strong enough to be able to hold out till I'm ready and not be put under pressure. He's got to earn a next stage...

Also, if nothing else, I owe it to the next woman along to make sure this guy understands that women need respect. Should be an interesting first date conversation!!

That's if I don't change my mind in the next week or so...

dollydumpling

Thanks Su Su and Skintspice (dont know how to do the quotes thing - sorry). I did resist but only by going to bed and even then I dreamed of sweets and they are still on my mind. I think it's because I'm not allowed to drive or go out of the house for another week or so, so the fact that I can't just nip to Sainsbury's/Wooilies make me want them even more. But, I will remind myself of the part of my mantra which says "will it really bother me in a months time" and if the answer is yes - I shall treat myself. Thanks again for saving me from myself (for the time being!).

Ossireo

SuSu1871 wrote: »

I'm strong enough to be able to hold out till I'm ready and not be put under pressure. He's got to earn a next stage...

As long as you have this sussed then I cant see any harm in you seeing where this goes

SuSu1871 wrote: »

I've played it so safe for years and it's kept me safe, but single, and I'm bored of being single.

Totally hear you on this. I've heard so many lines over the years I suddenly realised that I have turned in to someone so cynical it saddens me. I decided yesterday after another prime example of my over reacting to something, that if I don't want to stay single that I have to take that risk! I have to believe what I am being told and not keep thinking things I am being told are untrue because I don't think that good of myself and think that there would be better options for him elsewhere!

I'll admit it is really hard being lavished with affection and accepting it without feeling that I either don't deserve it or that its just bullsh*t but I am determined I can get use to it in time!

SunderlandBlackCat wrote:

Unfortunately it was :sad::embarasse

Awww sorry it was not so good for you SBC PS, can I steal your cheese!

Ossireo

sarahb123 wrote: »

What sort of a stupid system needs you to fail all their offers first!

I know its so ridiculous, I had a huge rant at them and told them they better damn make sure that they note their records that I am trying to sort out payments rather then just doing nothing!

sarahb123 wrote: »

Re the joint tenancy, could it not go in your mum's name only? Do you need to be on it? Apologies if this is a stupid question, but if it's the only thing that would affect finding somewhere together it would be a shame if it stopped you.

Well I would need to be on the tenancy agreement to claim Housing benefits, unless we find some way of me subletting from her etc. I have actually seen a property I rather fancy which is the same rate as my current one but I am pretty sure that I will find trouble with credit checks etc. I am going to ring up the Letting Agent tomorrow and have a chat. Another problem is I no longer have my landlords details as he moved house! I may be able to play detective though if I need to hand my notice in!

sarahb123 wrote: »

Good luck with interview, will keep fingers crossed xxx

Thanks hun, will need all the good lucks I can get as I royally SUCK at selling myself lol!

Hope everyone has else had a good weekend and managing to stay warm in this coldness!

sarahb123_3

SuSu1871 wrote: »

I know what you mean, and I've been burnt before which, peversely, is why I'm giving this guy a chance. I've played it so safe for years and it's kept me safe, but single, and I'm bored of being single. I'm also bored of being the one who makes the moves but gets told that "I really like you, but..." and "let's just be friends..." So, this guy likes me, I like him and I'm strong enough to be able to hold out till I'm ready and not be put under pressure. He's got to earn a next stage...

Also, if nothing else, I owe it to the next woman along to make sure this guy understands that women need respect. Should be an interesting first date conversation!!

That's if I don't change my mind in the next week or so...

SuSu, I do think you should do it, for the reason highlighted. Sometimes being single is very boring. You may as well take the risk if you think you are strong enough to hold out and not be persuaded to do anything you don't want to. If it works out, all well and good. If it doesn't then at least you have had a learning experience, some dating practice and some fun while it lasts. Try to stretch it out until Chrismas at least, for the present recieving opportunities:D .

Have a careful think about how it all started though, sounds like he wasn;t very nice to you then, I know first impressions aren't everything and he may have just been a bit anxious and messed things up and he certainly seems to be making a good effort and has brownie points for apologizing, but make sure you are going to be treated properly this time.

eco

Hi all,
i think Sarah's right been single is a bit boring sometmes, but it's better to be bored and single than to put up with second best and be unhappy, but everyone deserves a second chance nd we aren't perfect.