Fellow Dumpee's Come In Here

elkay115

I'm her mum, so it's in the job description.

Oh a nice man!! Those are quite a rarity lol.

inmypocketnottheirs

Sailor_Sam wrote: »

Listenng to all you women, looking after Drea. I feel so guilty being a man. Some of us are nice, well maybe sometimes.

Shhhhhhhh!

sal

Can I join in please?

I split with my OH in March, actually it was when I finally found the courage and a place to go after years of abuse which left me emotionally wrecked. He begged me not to go and still texts me alternately abusive texts then the most beautiful romantic texts about the good times that can make me melt. I have to keep harking back to the bad times to keep me on track so that I don't creep back. How can I love a man that is such a bully? I don't know but it doesn't do much for my self esteem.

However, on the positive side, I have gritted my teeth and got myself out there. I've been to music festivals on my own that I would never have gone to before and had more time with my grown up children that he always resented. I still have to do more work to get back with my friends that I had to part with while I was with him. But I will.

The last few days have been a dramatic and draining roller coaster. Such a lot has happened, far too much for me to document here, I still can't believe that he was capable of such cruel and cowardly things - but then I've always said that bullies are cowards underneath. Amazing as he claims to be an expert on bullying and even lectures on it. If only they knew.

He is living now with another woman he met a few weeks ago who has a small child (he retires next year). They must both be desperate. He wooed me seriously over the weekend and I agreed to meet to discuss things, I knew he'd see it as a sign that I was weakening and would have him back, what a joke, I admit I did start to weigh things up again though. But I really wanted to sit and talk in a neutral place so that we could get along through the divorce and settlement, strangely I thought I'd like him as a friend as we have had some good times. Tonight I met him at a local pub (my choice not his which he didn't like) so that we could be in public and not raise our voices. I was 5 minutes late as I had been delayed at work, he was furious. Hmm, I thought, alarm bells rang. We got to the bar, he had obviously already been drinking and the penny finally dropped. What the hell was I doing there? I left, he banged on the car and shouted at me to come back to him!!! Oh yeah? He sent me some horrible texts after. I've taken someone's advice on this board and deleted him from my phone, ok I know his number but I will have to type it in and it might just give me enough time to see sense.

So, in hindsight I think it was actually a good decision to go through with tonight. It has reminded me of exactly why I left him and I don't feel so bad about him with this other woman. I actually feel sorry for them. I've cut off all financial ties bar the mortgage and I've come to an arrangement with him over that which seems to be working. I've always sorted the money, he is useless with it, he's already in a mess. He says that he is living a walking death and only wants me, my heart bleeds. I've even tried to warn her for the sake of her little boy, but that didn't work. No more, they are welcome to each other. He left the house I'd already left to go to stay with her, so I've moved myself back in while he was away, he didn't like that. He now realised he's made his bed and doesn't like it.

He's badmouthed me to his family and friends but luckily they know what he's like and I can weather that. His daughters have told me that I'm better off without him, they don't understand him either. They're lovely. Strangely I haven't badmouthed him even though he'd been sleeping around frequently through our time together. I'm no angel, I know I wound him up, but it's no fun living with a lying, bullying drunk and I'm well rid. Every week he would ask me for a divorce when he was drunk and I sat there quiet until he sobered up and became loving again. I did warn him to be careful what he wished for, well now he has it and doesn't want it.

So why do I still feel crap? But I'm determined to see this through now.

Sigh.

Sal

Drea

If I could find the smiley to give you a hug I would, but I can't. We'll get there.

I feel quite stupid, almost 2 weeks later and it's not got any better for me, I don't feel any better, just worse sometimes. I had a good couple of days then I'm back to square one.

Trying to look for flats without a computer isn't easy either!

Drea

Sailor_Sam wrote: »

Listenng to all you women, looking after Drea. I feel so guilty being a man. Some of us are nice, well maybe sometimes.

Where are these nice men then?

Drea

Found the most lovely flat. Phoned and it's still there, but think it might be too much money £45 over what I had as my budget.

http://www.citylets.co.uk/aspx/details.aspx?pid=100067&aid=261&footer=

Lovely though, isn't it.

Drea

Just talking to myself now but I like to

Went to see that flat, and loved it, and my gran was going to loan me the deposit and so I was soo excited. But got a phone call today to say that the owner has had it on ESPC (without the letting agents knowing) and was trying to sell it at the same time. So he wants to keep it up there for a while longer to see if it sells. I'm gutted, really sad about it. Thought something was finally going right.

Got a few viewings set up, but they look rubbish...