Fellow Dumpee's Come In Here

Drea

But I already finished my chocolate!

findingmyownway

Have a look at this thread...

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=874131

A few of us went through similar thing earlier in the year. There were plenty up and downs but we all came through it in the end.

Good luck

teedy23

I went through a similar situation a few years ago and yes it,s very difficult. Why though would you have to move? Get on the up your income thread and work like a fiend, it keeps your mind off the ex and gives you a bit of extra cash to pay the bills. You have to be strong and really get into the survival mind-set. Yes pack his things away out of sight, I threw out sheets ect when my cheating ex left. A bit severe I grant you , and a bit expensive, but it made MY bed MINES, new quilt too, and gradually replaced everything that was in the shared house. (that should read replacing, as I,m still in the process) I kept the house, although I was terrified I was going to lose my home at the start but the realisation that I could do it on my own was a great help in building my self esteem and confidence. The ex ended up getting dumped by the snake he cheated with, thats what happens to them, Karma is a wonderful thing. You can do this if you dont panic, your not "on your own" your free to start a whole new life. I wish you the best of luck, I,ve never looked back (thats a lie) but I,ve made my own way, and so will you.

Drea

We're renting a place, I can't really afford the whole lot on my own. Would prefer to have my own place now anyway, lots of things here remind me of him and sometimes I'll hear the door to the close opening downstairs and wonder if it could be him. I know that'd all pass but I'd prefer to have somewhere that's just mine now I think. Hate this place anyway.

I will get round to packing his things away, maybe at the weekend...

Drea

findingmyownway wrote: »

Have a look at this thread...

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=874131

A few of us went through similar thing earlier in the year. There were plenty up and downs but we all came through it in the end.

Good luck

Thanks, I'll have a read through it

Pssst

Drea wrote: »

We're renting a place, I can't really afford the whole lot on my own. Would prefer to have my own place now anyway, lots of things here remind me of him and sometimes I'll hear the door to the close opening downstairs and wonder if it could be him. I know that'd all pass but I'd prefer to have somewhere that's just mine now I think. Hate this place anyway.

I will get round to packing his things away, maybe at the weekend...

Maybe you coule get along to one of the flatmate/room to let type websites and find another roomy? Perhaps a female who you can get along with?

something_girl

similar position here. I just tried to move the sofa in the living room to cover the huge empty space that my ex left last week when he moved all his stuff out, by god the sofa is heavy! I have 2 kids, so I have got all my wallowing, crying, wandering around the house in a daze bit, out of my system (for now).

Also, as someone mentioned, eating food is essential! I knew I wouldn't be able to for a few days, so I got myself some Complan and I've been having that a couple of times a day instead of food.

I feel much stronger today, but I know the desperate loneliness will return, it's a natural process, much like grieving. But it will get so much better. The weirdest thing for me is the bedroom, we had twin beds, cos I can't sleep on the same mattress as anyone else and he took his bed! Fair enough, he did pay for them, as I paid for the leather sofa, but by god it feels odd in a little single bed in quite a big room. There's just so much space!

We split up 3 years ago also and I go SO down, I ended up in hospital, that will never happen again, that happened through not eating and becoming seriously depressed. Don't ever let yourself get that down, because of a relationship.

Like yourself, I don't have any friends here, as I have moved around a lot and I'm not a very sociable person, but I have phoned my mum a few times as she was worried I'd end up like last time and I am thankful that I have work to go to, even if it is just 3 days a week. I'm spending too long sitting reading forums aswell, but at least I'm not just sitting thinking about 'us' and what could/should have been etc etc

The very best of luck to you, to get through this and don't stop posting, just vent away on here, there are so many people here in similar and FAR FAR worse situations, it's good to share.

xx

Drea

To be honest, I'm feeling a bit braver today, but maybe that's because I'm back at work and know when I go home I have stuff to do. I text him when I left for work to say that I was out so he could get his stuff if he wanted to (which actually took a lot because I've been clinging onto that as my only chance of seeing him again). I know, if I go back and his stuff is gone I'll be upset but I've got to start getting it in my head that it's over.

Mips

Drea wrote: »

To be honest, I'm feeling a bit braver today, but maybe that's because I'm back at work and know when I go home I have stuff to do. I text him when I left for work to say that I was out so he could get his stuff if he wanted to (which actually took a lot because I've been clinging onto that as my only chance of seeing him again). I know, if I go back and his stuff is gone I'll be upset but I've got to start getting it in my head that it's over.

Chin up you

Glad you are feeling braver, grab some magazines on the way home or something and make sure you eat as already said!

Don't get upset by his stuff being gone.. he needs it and it's not symbolic.. just make sure you look after yourself and remember that what he has done is HIS problem and he's done you a favour.. because now you're free to meet Mr Right;)

something_girl

Drea wrote: »

To be honest, I'm feeling a bit braver today, but maybe that's because I'm back at work and know when I go home I have stuff to do. I text him when I left for work to say that I was out so he could get his stuff if he wanted to (which actually took a lot because I've been clinging onto that as my only chance of seeing him again). I know, if I go back and his stuff is gone I'll be upset but I've got to start getting it in my head that it's over.

it would be better if he came when you were at work, that's what my guy did and I was shocked at the speed, he must have been waiting round the corner with a van. Dismantled beds and computer desks and all sorts. I was only at work from 9 - 1pm and he came 100 miles. Sometimes face to face goodbyes are not the best thing.