Relationship breakdown

lynzpower

hi hun

Speak to relate. Tell them that the financial situation in your relationship is one of the main stressors. I know that relate will do sessins for "donation only" and if your donation is a fiver, then thats what it is.

they obviously dont advertise this but its definately worth speaking to them. if they cant help maybe they might be able to tell you of another organisation that can?

x

Cornishpixie_2

After 7 years of marriage I seperated from my Husband, we have 4 children and I really struggled. I eventually had a bit of a breakdown. Anyhoo after a year and a half of not getting anywhere, we got back together. Things are better now between us. I no longer work but doing a college course sept.,to get back into work place. He is alot more open (for a man:rolleyes:). Found Mediation un helpful and destressing. It sounds like your both under a lot of pressure. Is there anyway you can find opportunity to spend time together without the kids, to talk things over? Outwith the family home would be better. You both seriously need to consider your options. I wouldn't throw everything away just yet. You need to look how you can both work together to improve things for both of you.You both also need support from close family or friends it really helps. Good luck. take Care x

sismith42

Hi, I tried to see if the NHS offered couples concelling, and found this website: http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/ maybe some of this could help you? (I don't know much about them, nor do I know where you live, but there might be something in your area that's cheaper... or maybe your local library has one of the books they talk about)

I am a bit confused about your work situation (other than that you've given up on that job and handed in your notice): do you want to work there again in Sept, when your childcare issues are sorted? Or would it not pay enough for you to make it ok on your own?

gerturdeanna wrote: »

Thanks for all the good advice and comments. I'm currently now not working so now have the added pressure of making the house look good for him.
Will definatly sit down and think about why I fell in love with him in the first place and see if we can get it back.

Is he ASKING you to make the house look good, or is that something you ASSUME he is interested in? Basically, where is the added pressure coming from?

Good luck!

gerturdeanna

I'm assumin he wants the house to look good - our rows normally stem from the house looking a tip and having no money. Going back to my old job in September isn't an option as I would be wanting to work afternoons to save on childcare but my work doesn't do afternoon shifts.

RedBern

don't get stressed about the house looking good... life's too short. As long as there's no danger of food poisoning or tripping onto sharp knives do the bare minimum and get out and have fun.

If your OH wants the house tidy show him where hoover lives (I hide my money under the dyson - no-one's ever found it;))

Relationships take hard work and sometimes it seems an easy option to walk away - stick with it. Good luck

gerturdeanna

Your right RedBern, at the m, walking away does seem the easiest option but isn't one I want to do. I have sent an email to relate contacting them asking to be put on the waiting list. Just hope the list isn't too long!

nottslass_2

gerturdeanna wrote: »

I still think he is depressed with lots of things in his life and so I've made a Doctors appt for him on Monday. After seeing what the doctor has to say, we also discussed the option of going to relate or something similar, ut I don't know of any similar place? Anyone help?

Hi,i can recommend relate, me and OH were on the verge of a break up,we still loved each other,but were taking each other and our relationship for granted etc. Anyway relate have helped us enormously,I know that we wouldn't be together now if we hadn't gone for counseling, most importantly it taught us that good relationships rarely "just happen" they take time and effort.

In our area if you have an income of over 24 K you pay the full £45 per session but if you cannot afford this there is a sliding scale.It may sound like a lot of money but think of it as investment in your future happiness.

Good luck.

gerturdeanna

I'm know even more convinced he is depressed. He just sits there shaking and he's lost a stone in 2 weeks!

RebekahR

Poor guy he is probably as scared as you about it all! Go give him a daddy pampering day. Get the children to wash his feet in a bowl of water and rub them, and you can give him a nice back or head massage. Try to do touchy feely things just to get to connect as one. Just don't distance yourselves from each other. Or wait until the kiddies are in bed then do massages. If your not touchy feely at all then sit and watch tv together and just hold hands of cuddle. Go to the local shop and buy a huge bar of chocolate to share together.

kittiej

Hi just read this thread.

I hope your doc can help your OH, are you going with him to the appointment? I would just to make sure nothing gets forgotten. If OH is depressed it can be hard to concentrate so he might not tell the doc everything he needs to.

I really hope you can get through this.

Crossing my fingers for you.