What would be fair amount for a 21 year old to pay?

chrissyan · 1 March 2014 at 8:23PM

I live with my partner of 8 years and my 21 year old son, in a house solely in my name, but still under mortgage, we all work full time, my son has greatly upset me today because I put up his board and lodge up by £50 pcm. He now wants to leave home, because he thinks he is not getting a fair deal. He has gone on and on & made a big fuss. None of his friends pay this much.

To be fair my partner and I both struggle a bit because we do have some other debts. I earn just under £16,000 per year, my partner £18,000 per year, however my son earns £31,000 per year, probably due to increase soon.

My son rarely cooks, clears up, or does anything much around the house, he has all his food provided, although he does buy extra as being a body builder he eats a lot of protein, that is his choice, he still sits down to a family meal with us nearly every evening. He adds his toiletries to my supermarket list, I do all his laundry, although not his ironing. We are in the North East, so London prices do not apply.

Please can some MSE members give me their opinion on what a fair charge would be? I won't say how much I am charging him just now as I am hoping for unbiased opinions.

Thanking you in advance for help

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balletshoes · 1 March 2014 at 8:29PM

as you are all adults, and all with jobs, I'd suggest a straight third each of all the household bills, including the mortgage, utilities, satellite/broadband, council tax, and the basic grocery bill too, if your son eats the food and uses the toiletries.

Jazzy_girl · 1 March 2014 at 8:34PM

Hi my son pays me £275 a month, I am a single parent with a mortgage and he does say it's too much but not very often. He does his own washing and only earns the minimum wage for his age but he has no other outgoings ie car bills etc but he his better off than me really.
If your son earns that much then maybe he should fly solo to see how much worse off he would be

Rosemary7391 · 1 March 2014 at 8:35PM

When I was at university in the North East I paid £250 for a room, plus an equal share of the bills. I also did my share of cooking and cleaning!

jackieblack · 1 March 2014 at 8:36PM

You've asked for an extra £50 but not told us how much he's currently paying
It's impossible for us to judge whether that's fair without knowing that

Person_one · 1 March 2014 at 8:36PM

What's wrong with the idea of him leaving home?

He's old enough, he earns more than enough to manage on his own, I say let him go!

thorsoak · 1 March 2014 at 8:37PM

chrissyan wrote: »

I live with my partner of 8 years and my 21 year old son, in a house solely in my name, but still under mortgage, we all work full time, my son has greatly upset me today because I put up his board and lodge up by £50 pcm. He now wants to leave home, because he thinks he is not getting a fair deal. He has gone on and on & made a big fuss. None of his friends pay this much.

To be fair my partner and I both struggle a bit because we do have some other debts. I earn just under £16,000 per year, my partner £18,000 per year, however my son earns £31,000 per year, probably due to increase soon.

My son rarely cooks, clears up, or does anything much around the house, he has all his food provided, although he does buy extra as being a body builder he eats a lot of protein, that is his choice, he still sits down to a family meal with us nearly every evening. He adds his toiletries to my supermarket list, I do all his laundry, although not his ironing. We are in the North East, so London prices do not apply.

Please can some MSE members give me their opinion on what a fair charge would be? I won't say how much I am charging him just now as I am hoping for unbiased opinions.

Thanking you in advance for help

I was thinking "oh poor baby, don't your friends' parents charge them anything" etc etc etc ...then I read what he is earning - and your know what? If he was my son, all his goods and chattels would be in binbags in the front garden by now!

He is a selfish little git! Let him go - you'll save money!

daisiegg · 1 March 2014 at 8:42PM

Let him leave home...he earns enough, why is he still living with you anyway? He is a grown man!

rach_k · 1 March 2014 at 8:46PM

10 years ago as a student working part time (min wage), I was paying £200/month to my mum, as were my sisters. I thought that was a very good deal, much better than my sister got living in halls at uni. I did my own laundry and did my fair share of household jobs, cooking etc and would pick up any extras like milk or treats like cakes.

If your son is earning that much, I'd say he should be paying 1/3 of all bills like food, electricity and food, plus any extras of his own e.g. if he has his own Sky box he should pay for that himself. I wouldn't ask him to pay 1/3 of the mortgage but make a contribution per month of less than 1/3, probably just less than the going rate for a room in a shared house. I'd also expect him to pitch in with all household chores and buy his own toiletries or pay you for them. If he's not going to help around the house, charge him the going rate for a cleaner, cook etc.

I'm sure all that would work out less than getting his own place. If he's not happy with it, surely he's old enough to brave the big bad world and find somewhere of his own?

Beckyy · 1 March 2014 at 8:46PM

I would agree a three way split wouldn't be unfair - definitely all utilities, with him paying for his own food/toiletries.

Hard to say without knowing what he already pays - don't be worried about saying it.

I think the main point for me is that he's the highest earner in the house, and you're sometimes struggling so it would be disrespectful for him not to pay his way. If he kicks up a fuss about it then moving out would probably do him the world of good.

chrissyan · 1 March 2014 at 8:51PM

jackieblack wrote: »

You've asked for an extra £50 but not told us how much he's currently paying
It's impossible for us to judge whether that's fair without knowing that

I have put my son's board up to £300 pcm from today,he thinks it's too much. He even thought £250 was too much, he thinks £200 is fair. He said he wants to get on the housing ladder eventually, but can't save up a deposit if I charge him so much.

I think he is comparing to his friends who's parents have well paid jobs, possible paid off their mortgage and their son's are still studying

Balletshoes: A third of the household outgoings is £375 pcm. I worked it out today, because my son asked me to, not that it has improved anything

What would be fair amount for a 21 year old to pay?

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