Spill the beans... on grown-ups whose parents support them

Former_MSE_Debs · 23 July 2012 at 11:12AM

Spill the beans... on grown-ups whose parents support them [IMGRIGHT]http://images.moneysavingexpert.com/images/spillthebeans2.gif[/IMGRIGHT]

It's said 4m UK grown-ups still get financial support from their parents for everything from basic living costs to help with education, wedding and property costs. So are you supported, or a supporter? How does it work? Is there a payback agreement? What are your tips for weaning big 'uns off mum and dad's financial milk?

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ChattyNatty · 24 July 2012 at 11:33PM

Things have to get really bad before I go to Bank of Mum & Dad. I have always been taught never to use a Credit card, if I have the cash then we can have it but if not then go with out. But there has been times despite this I had to go to my parents for help and have been embarressed to do so but if it means food for the family and petrol in the car then I will do it. Even then we don't have the latest tech the kids know better than to ask. They don't have named brands for anything but despite working full-time it is hard. Money does not stretch very far these days despite using Martins tips.

raven83 · 24 July 2012 at 11:40PM

Nothing- as both my parents are no longer here. Before that they used to help me out a lot and bailed me put when I needed it, but since they have gone I have had to stand on my own 2 feet and manage money and the like better, and I have got a lot better. I have friends who have their parents give them all manner of monies for things, not sure I think it does them any good though.

*Louise* · 24 July 2012 at 11:46PM

We manage without financial help, we pay our own mortgage and paid for our own wedding. My parents did pay for a honeymoon, but that was a wedding gift, we would have organised something ourselves if we had to.

However, I know if I ever needed financial help my mum would be the first one to offer the money in a heartbeat. Likewise, I have helped her out in the past. It's just what families do for each other.

I think being supported while in full time education is a bit different though, as it's so expensive to do without some help, as it's not as if the 'child' has the option to work full time to support themself.

WelshPaul · 24 July 2012 at 11:47PM

If only I have no parents!!!!

maman · 24 July 2012 at 11:54PM

We've made it clear to both our children that they must come to us if the have any money problems. I'd hate to see them paying unecessary interest or really going without. I think that's what any parent who is in the position to help would do.

Strangely though it doesn't happen. Our children never ask us for money. We force some on them through gifts and paying for treats but they have never asked for a loan.

I'm exceptionally proud of them and I believe it's mainly because we've brought them up to be sensible with money BUT before anyone shouts me down....I know it's not that simple for everyone with recession, unemployment, redundancy....

Mindless_Clone · 24 July 2012 at 11:56PM

I have never once since leaving home at 18, used Bank of Mum and Dad. Not even for our wedding. The only things they have contributed towards were housewarming gifts (a washing machine) and they bought the pram when I had my DS. Those were gifts though.
I haven't supported them either but I would if it came to it and I had the means to do so.

Jim_B_3 · 25 July 2012 at 12:12AM

"What are your tips for weaning big 'uns off mum and dad's financial milk?"

It's tricky. The real solution is to have a solid economy with a range of progressable jobs from entry-level upwards, a decent education system (not just before working, but also during the working life), a sense that the future will be better and a series of achievable, worthwhile steps in life that people can actually aspire to (slogging your guts out for thirty years to part-buy a one-bed flat is not an aspiration, it's a prelude to suicide

). Otherwise, the kids will just wonder what the point is, and I'm not sure I'll have an answer.

j.e.j. · 25 July 2012 at 7:32AM

I don't know if they were giving him money, but I do remember a guy at work who was well into his thirties, and still living in his parents house. (They had 'given' him the loft/attic bit) He said it saved a fortune, as the rents locally are very expensive.

aloiseb · 25 July 2012 at 7:55AM

I am so glad that we have been lucky enough to be lent money by Bank of Mum and Dad on several occasions...mostly to do things like replace the car, or home improvements.
I think there are benefits both ways - after all, how can you visit your parents with no transport, or have them to visit you if your "house" is a tiny disaster area?
I'm not sure our kids will ever have their own place unless we are able help them out in our turn.

wifeforlife · 25 July 2012 at 8:04AM

Wll my folks gifted us £3000 towards our deposit for our first home 2 years ago, and now we're getting married next year they gifting us £5000 towards that.

I can't thank them enough, my parents are my hero's

They're not well off but good with their money, I'll treat and repay them in the future when I'm financially better off.

Spill the beans... on grown-ups whose parents support them

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