The Illuminative Project.

Chandelier. · 22 November 2016 at 12:48PM

Hello,

I have decided to start a diary for a number of reasons. The main reason is to monitor and keep track of the amount of debt I have. Other reasons include a journey I am about to embark on with my inner self and the paths I shall take to get to where I want to be.

A bit about myself- I'm mid twenties and a single parent to a boy whom fills my life with laughter and adventure. I currently work full time however I will be looking to reduce my hours which will be beneficial to my overall health and wellbeing and provide a balance in life that's not currently present. I'm a long time sufferer of mental health issues and this is currently being assessed by a community team which I am grateful for.

The debt I speak of is in relation to car finance. A personal loan was taken out to cover this as the interest rate was much lower than what the car finance companies were offering. The outstanding balance on this is currently £10230.01. Aside from that I have no other debts. I am able to meet the monthly repayments for this loan and often throw any spare money at it whenever I can in order to pay it quicker. I've already paid off roughly £2000 in a short amount of time.

Life at the moment is all upside down. I'm currently off work due to mental health reasons. I've always persevered and carried on because I do not know any difference but it's taken its toll. On the outside I look absolutely fine but it's everything else that eats away at me. I'm currently undergoing assessments and it will be a very long windy path I suspect. All I know is I want to get better and enjoy the life I have and find the excitement and passion again that I once held.

I guess that is why I've named this "The Illuminative Project". It's the start of new beginnings for me and will hopefully lead me to where I'd like to be. Although the debt does not keep me awake at night, the numbers irritate me. It's funny how when I used to have PCP deals I thought nothing of it except as another payment. I'll be glad that once it's all over the money can go elsewhere.

In regards to outgoings, my essential bills are minimal. I save a chunk each month into a high interest isa (this is long term to save for a house deposit). Then I have my loan repayment each month and a set budget each month in regards to family life/my son (I set this quite high and what is leftover gets thrown at debt at the end of the month. This covers activities and days out which we do alot of and I do not wish to give this up. If I could not afford to it would be a different story).

In regards to money I've always been rather anxious. I think this comes from experiencing family members whom have racked up vast amounts of debt that has become uncontrollable and nothing to show for it. I'm aware of my money situation and always have a set budget I stick too. I'm not really an impulse buyer and if I want something I think carefully about it. I budget for everything down and if the funds aren't there then I can't spend it. I refuse to put things on credit unless it's for safety purposes e.g. holidays but then the balance is always paid off in full.

I could throw everything I have at this loan however I think I'd end up more miserable than what I currently am. I'm aware I'm in it for the long run and I'm treating it like I would a car PCP deal, just without the balloon payment at the end. However I also plan to throw any extra at the loan and at times make one off payments when I feel comfortable enough to do so. If I have any impulses regarding money than its more throwing it at the loan than anything else.

My ultimate goal is to save up for a house deposit and buy my own place. I currently still live at home and do not plan on moving out for a while until my circumstances improve. Everyone is happy with these arrangements and I contribute towards household costs. It would be silly for me to step outside into the world of rental and struggle along when I have the opportunity to stay here and get myself into a better position overall.

So that is a bit about me to begin with. I have all these wonderful ideas and plans in my head but it's applying them. This shall be my place to discuss, write, vent and express any feelings or thoughts I have.

Welcome to my journey and I hope you enjoy the ramblings. I look forward to hearing from others and having plenty to talk about along the way!

Bobarella · 22 November 2016 at 9:59PM

Good luck Chandelier. I hope you have a lot of success!

Chandelier. · 23 November 2016 at 9:12PM

Evening!

Today has been a bit of a funny day, mood wise. It's been up and down more times than I can remember but that's okay. I also seem to have become deaf in one ear of which I'm unsure why. I'll just keep an eye on it and see how it goes.

I have spent a bit of time this afternoon moving money around. I have a small emergency fund stashed away in case anything should go wrong and also use this to save/budget for upcoming annual expenses. After working out figures I decided to make a rather large overpayment of £1000 to my loan. I figured as it's not gaining much interest it would be best to do this. I still have a small amount should anything go wrong. So until it's all finalised and interest is recalculated I'll just write my debt as £9230.01. The monthly repayments shall come down to just below £200.

I've also done some Christmas shopping today online. I searched through the net for the best deals and I've used discount codes/cashback websites where possible. I'll probably have saved overall around £15 by doing this, so I'm chuffed with that. I've not much left to buy now- just some small bits/stocking fillers for my boy and my mums present then that's pretty much it.

Aside from this I've spent some time doing homework with my son and watching tipping point with him. He absolutely loves this programme and attempts to answer the questions- this translates to mostly copying the players answers lol.

We had a quick tea of sausage, chips and beans tonight- cheap and cheerful. Some nights I don't have the energy to cook a "proper" meal from scratch.

I've also been roughly drafting the budget for December.

That's pretty much it for now.

Bobarella · 23 November 2016 at 10:43PM

Sounds like some good thinking there in paying off the loan. And if your tea fed you and your son, then it was a proper tea.

Chandelier. · 24 November 2016 at 9:22AM

Morning!

It's a frosty morning here, the outside air is very crisp and fresh. I need to defrost my car- I'm not looking forward to that. Last time I had to defrost my car I had nothing on me so I used my driving licence to scrape it lol. This time I shall be more organised.

I'm due to get my hair coloured today. Long story short I had it done last week however the colour wouldn't strip/lift so the hairdresser was not happy to charge me (she even cut it!). Today I'm going back to have another shot at it. She's a very nice lady and I appreciate her not charging when she wasn't happy with the work she'd done. I'll definitely go back again. During this time I decided to have my long hair chopped right off. I'm still getting used to short hair and at the time it was an impulsive decision. I do like it and my hair feels much thicker. The money is already is already set aside and budgeted for that.

I also have a blocked ear. It started yesterday morning. I'm not quite sure if I have an ear infection as last night there was some pain/tenderness. I just feel reluctant to go to the doctors as I swear I'm there every other week. I mays well have shares in the NHS.

Aside from that there should be no other spends for today. The boy has an extra curricular this evening but that's all paid for.

I guess I should also plan something for tea.

On another note we have recently had gas/electricity smart meters installed. They're bugging me because I can see exactly what's being used and it confuses me as to the amount when it's only 8.20am so far? We've only had the heating on for two hours and it's now gone off. I'll probably end up at war with the meters trying to beat them each day lol.

That's all for now. I better get my winter clothes on and go defrost the mum-mobile.

monz · 24 November 2016 at 10:51AM

Popping by to say hi and also a single mum with a lil boy!

you can do this

x

Chandelier. · 24 November 2016 at 10:58AM

Thanks Monz! I'll have a pop over to your diary after and have a gander!

Sometimes it's hard being a single parent but other times I wouldn't change it for the world.

x

monz · 24 November 2016 at 4:09PM

Aw mine is way two long now! This diary plaec is good and meet lovely people through it who will support you and give great tips.

I have only ever been a single pregnant, was left pregnant and now cd never imagine (nor do i want to now) share my boy

x

Chandelier. · 24 November 2016 at 7:51PM

Mon, I've been a single parent for four and a half years now.. I've had one or two relationships since then but they just weren't for me. I prefer my own company at the moment! And for other reasons I need to focus on myself.

It's been quite a busy day here. I've not had time to think.

I've had my hair done and it's now a lovely warm brown with a hint of red somehow. It looks alot lighter and feels so much healthier. I'm definitely going back again.

I had a doctor appointment this afternoon and they've confirmed my ear drum has perforated and their is infection. A lovely long course of antibiotics for me!

I've also booked myself and the boy into the dentist next week. I need a filling redoing so will rejig the budget for this.

I've started to compile a list of things I'd like to do and achieve. It's not quite finished so I will not post it yet. I'm feeling somewhat positive today, if a little bit on edge.

At the moment tea is on the go and the boy is chilled out in front of the tele after doing his homework. He's also somehow managed to have a nap? He must have needed it.

We are due to go out soon to his extra curricular activity. I think after that I'll be having an early night. I'm feeling pretty tired now.

X

Bobarella · 24 November 2016 at 8:21PM

Glad the haircut went well. It can really lift you getting a good cut.

Chandelier. · 25 November 2016 at 9:21AM

Morning!

So last night me and the boy went to his extra curricular and somehow found ourselves at @sda afterwards. I've been wanting some new comfy pyjamas and slippers for a while so picked some up for myself and a new pair of pyjamas/blanket for the boy. £34.00 spent, woops. Not planned but I had enough aside in the monthly budget to pay for this. They are the comfiest pjs/shoes ever and the pjs may sport my twin in the front- the Grinch! Haha.

The boy has also been in hysterics because he left his drinks bottle as his activity. He's scared he'll get in trouble with his nanny whom bought it. No doubt they'll make a comment but we're back there later so will search high and low and see if it's been handed in.

I've updated all my banking online and moved money around to where it should be. If I'm careful I may have around £78 left at the end of the month. If so this will go straight to overpaying loan when I can. My big loan payment has come out but not yet updated on the loan website. That will probably be Monday.

The car is frosted once again and it's cold outside. I'll go sort that out once I've made up the boys packed lunch.

We have workmen supposed to be coming today so not much going on for me. My ear is much more painful this morning. I can't wait for the antibiotics to kick in. I'm useless at taking medication but know I have to. I need to set a reminder.

It's Black Friday. I don't think I'm going to be purchasing anything. There is nothing that I either need or want.

That's all for now.

The Illuminative Project.

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