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Money Moral Dilemma: Should I buy gifts for both halves of a couple?
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Former_MSE_Nick
Posts: 463 Forumite
This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...
Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.
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I usually get presents for both my sister and her husband on their respective birthdays and Christmas. But I only ever receive a single joint gift from them both, which I think is a bit cheeky as it's never any more expensive than the ones I get for them individually. Should I just buy a single gift from now on, or maybe chop my budget in half for each?
Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.
If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply!
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Comments
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I usually get presents for both my sister and her husband on their respective birthdays and Christmas. But I only ever receive a single joint gift from them both, which I think is a bit cheeky as it's never any more expensive than the ones I get for them individually. Should I just buy a single gift from now on, or maybe chop my budget in half for each?
Get your own back ...
Get married and have eight children.
Buy them a printed calendar each year that includes reminders for all birthdays.
:heartpuls Mrs Marleyboy :heartpuls
MSE: many of the benefits of a helpful family, without disadvantages like having to compete for the tv remote
Proud Parents to an Aut-some son 0 -
Problem is I would have never started buying for the brother in law in the first place.
Bit hard tocut down to one now, so maybe half budget instead.0 -
It's common with single people to be treated like this by couples; they've no idea they do it. It's annoying.
Hard to know what to tell you to do .... you'll still be dealing with them. If you halve the budget you might find they'll have your gift budget too
I'd specifically look for cheaper gifts that look much pricier, buy stuff that's clearance at 75% off rrp etc.0 -
Don't be silly. Of course the gift will be from both of them, do you expect them to buy you one from each of them, when they're both married to each other?
It's like getting a present from your mum and dad, but begrudging getting dad his own birthday present or mum her own present.0 -
One present from a couple is fairly normal. If it is something that bothers you and you want to cut back on your budget you can't really just buy one of them a birthday present so you might be best cutting back the budget for birthdays and getting them a joint present for Christmas, just make sure that it is a present for both of them (something that they can do together) rather than just a present for one of them with 2 names on. Or mix it up with Christmas presents sometimes get them a joint present sometimes get them a cheaper present each (that way it's not so clear that you have changed your strategy)0
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Can't see this working very well unless they share a birthday...0
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OP, I think your relatives are seriously taking advantage of you.
You should certainly buy a shared gift for Christmas.
However, I'm shocked that your sister didn't have the courtesy to marry someone who shared her birthday. Unless she didn't on purpose to make sure they got a gift each.
I have known of this, believe it or not.
I don't want to add to your worries, but I'd also want to be sure exactly how much they were spending on your gift.
Worst case scenario, they could get you something cheaper than your single gift to them.
Personally, I'd make sure they put the receipt in the bag and you are able to verify payment before taking a financial risk of this nature.
Alternatively, you could speak to them and ask them to buy you two gifts for each occasion. Though tbh you shouldn't have to ask, and you may not get a positive response.
These people have financially abused you for years and will continue to do so unless you take a firm stance.
Put your hands up.0 -
I would advice not to buy to the inlaw.OP, I think your relatives are seriously taking advantage of you.
You should certainly buy a shared gift for Christmas.
However, I'm shocked that your sister didn't have the courtesy to marry someone who shared her birthday. Unless she didn't on purpose to make sure they got a gift each.
I have known of this, believe it or not.
I don't want to add to your worries, but I'd also want to be sure exactly how much they were spending on your gift.
Worst case scenario, they could get you something cheaper than your single gift to them.
Personally, I'd make sure they put the receipt in the bag and you are able to verify payment before taking a financial risk of this nature.
Alternatively, you could speak to them and ask them to buy you two gifts for each occasion. Though tbh you shouldn't have to ask, and you may not get a positive response.
These people have financially abused you for years and will continue to do so unless you take a firm stance.0 -
For God's sake!! grrr
(I mean for the OP)0 -
First world problems0
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