Spill the beans... on grown-ups whose parents support them

Since the age of 18 I have never asked for support from my parents, I'd be embarrassed to. Like if my pennies were pounds, my OH is completely the opposite and so even now in his mid-20s, he's being supported, partially, by them. Worse thing is that he could afford the stuff they pay for himself, he just prefers them to pay.

I do think there is a difference though between parents offering to buy something as a gift and children asking/relying on their parents.

My parents have helped out on oaccasions in the past by providing loans which are always paid back. When I was a teenager I was gifted £1,000 but I was adamant it was a loan and repaid my parents. We’ve also received cash gifts for example when we got married. We don't rely on my parents to get by with day to day expenses (even when my Husband lost his job) although I know that they would support us if we ever needed it - and we would do the same for them.

My parents are about to give my Husband and I a large sum of money to add to our deposit savings. This is being provided as early inheritance and is written in their will (basically I’ve already had a lifetime gift so when the inheritance is split between me and my siblings this amount will be taken into account). We will probably look to book them a small holiday to thank them for their generosity.

I believe my parents are happy to help us out because a) it works both way (ok, to a lesser extent) and b) they know that we don’t take the p*ss and will always repay them. My brother on the other hand has had money from my parents which they stipulated was a loan. They never saw a penny back so next time he asked for help they declined.

crochet wrote: »

Should you maybe not try to live within your means? There is no need to spend thousands on a wedding.

There are plenty of adult "children" helping out their parent's financially too, why does the media and mse never cover this?

There is if parents really want all the aunties, uncles, cousins and grandmas to have a nice meal out etc. A wedding is more often a 'family celebration' and yes, feeding 100 people does cost at least a thousand pounds.

My parents are about to give me something in the order of £30,000 to buy a flat.

In some ways this makes me ashamed - I've been earning a decent wage for the past four years since uni, and if I'd put my mind to it, perhaps I could have saved a few thousand. I could never have saved £30k though, and I don't think I could buy with any less.

With the way rent is going in London, let alone other living costs, buying a flat is the most cost effective way for me to carry on living and working here. I'm deeply grateful that my parents are in the position to give me the money. (In effect it's a loan, as I'll do my very best to pay it back, but for mortgage purposes it has to be a gift.) My mum tells me she couldn't have bought her first London flat in the 70s without help from her parents... and so the cycle continues.

Interesting thread! :T

I'm very lucky with my parents, they have helped both me and my two sisters out even though we are now all in our 30's.

My dad was guarantor on my first mortgage, shared with my cousin, as his brother (cousins dad) couldn't / didn't want to, and buying in London was beyond us at the time, but cheaper than rent.

When I moved, in 2006, they suggested I bought another house to live in, again, rather than waste money renting. When I was reticent my mum told me that they would never have been able to afford a house if her dad hadn't given them the money, and that they would own 10% of my house. Fair enough. Unfortunately their investment has now shrunk!

When my middle sister bought a couple of years ago, they lent her the same.

They have also lent my middle sister and I money to pay of some of our worse debts, which we are now repaying to them. Happily as that took the pressure off it helped avert the nervous breakdown I was rocketing towards 2 years ago, and having now paid everything else off (bar the mortgage) from working hard I'm looking forward to paying everything else back, even though my dad keeps telling me 'not to worry'

And my little sister? She's had nothing.... however, thats because she hasn't needed anything since her husbands father has helped them out. My parents did pay half for their wedding though which wasn't cheap (and not a loan), whereas me and my middle sister are not married.

I think my parents see it as doing it now when we need it rather than worrying about inheritance tax when they're gone. They're not rich (a teacher and a lecturer), but comfortable and if they can help they want to.

In the same vein a few years ago when one of my best friends was trying to buy a flat she needed a deposit, her family couldn't help so I lent it to her (from my credit card) which she paid back including the interest. I think what goes around comes around, and hope to be in a situation to do the same for any children I might have.

EDIT: We do also try and do things for our parents too. We saved a grand between us to pay for a holiday for their 35th wedding anniversary. Paid for a weekend away, meal, hamper etc for their 40th and so on. I never feel like I can do enough to repay them, but maybe thats part of life.