School Party invite - how do I deal with this?

rio · 9 March 2007 at 6:03PM

A couple of weeks ago my four year old was invited to a party for a member of his class, whose family we have known for about two years. The party is next week and we were going to go shopping tomorrow to buy Tyler a present. It now appears that my little one has been uninvited. He came home from school yesterday with some tale about Tyler saying he wasn't going to the party, and I was stopped by the mother this afternoon who said that they had made a mess of working out the numbers for the party and would I mind if my little one didn't go as they had known me for longer than the other mums and if they had to let someone down they thought I would understand it better - she says that she has tried to add one onto the booking but the play centre they are going to said she already had the maximum number to attend. I asked her if there was a problem with her son and mine and that was why he couldn't go, she said not.

All I know is I now have one upset little boy on my hands who is going to be even more upset when his friends start talking about the party on Thursday morning, any ideas how I can handle this?

quietheart · 9 March 2007 at 6:08PM

This sort of thing always seems to happen when they start school. It's unpleasant and I bet right now you wish you weren't so reasonable (then she wouldn't've chosen you to be ok about it). Could you take your son somewhere special with a friend not from school?
Might be an idea to edit the child's name out of your post, it could be all around the playground otherwise!

jinky67 · 9 March 2007 at 6:09PM

that sounds a bit off.you would think that knowing you longer would have worked in your favour.personally i would not talk to her again

misty · 9 March 2007 at 6:09PM

You just have to tell your son - the truth. There was some mix up and now the party has changed. You could take him fro a treat somewhere else if you want. I wouldn't worry about the others talking about the party - at that age there is virtually a party a week and in my experience they don't discuss them later.

As for the woman - the excuse sounds a bit dodgy but what can you do? You can't really prove she was lying and even if you could what would it achieve. My son went to a football party recently and there was a max number of 12 - I think because of the person overseeing so many children. He'll have forgotten it quicker than you will

Justie · 9 March 2007 at 6:10PM

that sucks!

sorry can't really add anything constructive but I'd be pretty peed off. Your poor boy!

Slapps · 9 March 2007 at 6:11PM

does your son have any other friends that are not going to the party? if so why don't you ask your son if he would like friend or 2 round for dinner or something? or treat your son for a day out instead

vickyj · 9 March 2007 at 6:20PM

it's not called playground ploitics for nothing.
I dont think her excuse sounds unreasonable, she has stuffed up and i think that she will know that if she is a reasonabe person but i think opting for the "ignore and avoid" approach would do nothing for you or your son. Take it on the chin take your bor to the park and get on with life. It is not a big deal and come the end of the week your boy wont give a dam either
Vicky J

Justie · 9 March 2007 at 6:23PM

vickyj wrote: »

it's not called playground ploitics for nothing.
I dont think her excuse sounds unreasonable, she has stuffed up and i think that she will know that if she is a reasonabe person but i think opting for the "ignore and avoid" approach would do nothing for you or your son. Take it on the chin take your bor to the park and get on with life. It is not a big deal and come the end of the week your boy wont give a dam either
Vicky J

I agree to a certain extent it's just the son finding out before the parent that makes me suspicious... the mum should have been on the phone before the kids started talking about it.

rio · 9 March 2007 at 6:26PM

I think if she had had a quiet word with me first or if she had offered to take my son and hers to the park on another day or something like that I wouldn't have minded so much and I could have said to my son that they were having a special play time together, I wouldn't have expected her to fork out for a trip to the Fun factory or anything like that. Now I just feel fed up that children that her son has known for a shorter time have got preference over my son. Also my son still wants to go shopping for his friend's birthday present tomorrow - what should I do about that? And if I don't invite her son to my little one's party is it just sour grapes? By the way I haven't used the child's real name in my post, and I have made a point not to mention the situation to other parents.

fsdss · 9 March 2007 at 6:33PM

thats bad

my 5yr old is in a class of 15, and most of us parents have a verbal agreement that if the majority of the class is going to a party, then its only fair to invite all the class (this excludes a few who opt for a party tea). that way everyone get treated fairly.

vickyj · 9 March 2007 at 6:38PM

Hi please please dont take this as me being arsey but is there any chance that something has happened between the kids that mum doesent know about and the chald has simply said to his mumthat he does not want your son to come. Kids do this loads . My sons party is tomorrow and i have lost count of the amound of friends he has struck off and on the list (i ignored this of course) I know mum said that there is no probs but is there a chance maybe that she was being polite and did not want to "rock" your friendship.

School Party invite - how do I deal with this?

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