Leaving my husband

rolo-polo1965 · 16 November 2008 at 9:38PM

I could do with some advice. I have 3 children living at home, none of us are happy, my husband has become more and more verbally abusive. He belittles the children all the time calling them names. When my son failed his AS exams \(his best friend died of cancer) he went belistic calling him names. When my eldest daughter lived at home he told her he wished she had died instead of his mother.
I have found a house that the children and i could rent but not sure if i am doing the right thing.
We have a mortgage in both names, joint bank accounts, joint credit cards etc.
I am after some advise, he says that there is no way he is leaving the family home, as he has put so much money and effort into it, but then so have i

My priority is my childen, i want them to be safe and happy, at the moment i feel that they are not.

McKneff · 16 November 2008 at 9:46PM

easy for me to say, i know, my gut reaction is to chuck him out, lock the doors, then change the locks, throw his possessions from an upstairs window. If he is aggressive
call the police and then get a restraining order. Please keep posting, we would all like to help he is being a bully and will keep doing so if you allow him to get away with it.

Ephemera · 16 November 2008 at 9:51PM

Have a chat with Women's Aid who should be able to give you advice... and good luck!

rolo-polo1965 · 16 November 2008 at 10:02PM

Ephemera wrote: »

Have a chat with Women's Aid who should be able to give you advice... and good luck!

Thanks

I will give them a ring from work tomorrow

moneysaver12 · 16 November 2008 at 10:02PM

I would try to get him out, if you can't then get you and your children out. HUgs

rolo-polo1965 · 16 November 2008 at 10:05PM

anniehanlon wrote: »

easy for me to say, i know, my gut reaction is to chuck him out, lock the doors, then change the locks, throw his possessions from an upstairs window. If he is aggressive
call the police and then get a restraining order. Please keep posting, we would all like to help he is being a bully and will keep doing so if you allow him to get away with it.

This is easier said than done, the house is in both names. I would be woried he would become violent as well, he has hit me once before but thats a good few years ago.

I think that if i moved out with the children it would be easiest. The eldest is 18 the youngest is 13 and my middle is 15. They want to stay with me not their dad.

Life is not fair why does have to cause me and the childen all this stress and strain.

Thanks for your advice

Mutter_2 · 16 November 2008 at 10:05PM

Take a good look at your own and your children's lives.

Would you all be happier with him or without him?
I shall await your reply.

rolo-polo1965 · 16 November 2008 at 10:07PM

moneysaver12 wrote: »

I would try to get him out, if you can't then get you and your children out. HUgs

This is what i am thinking. It will be easier for us to leave then let a soliciter sort everything else out for me like selling house etc.

I supose i need to look for a soliciter to sort out a divoce. We have been married for 23 years over half my life, why do things have to be so complicated.

How do i find a soliciter, i supose i shall just look in yellow pages.

Thanks

rolo-polo1965 · 16 November 2008 at 10:10PM

Mutter wrote: »

Take a good look at your own and your children's lives.

Would you all be happier with him or without him?

It would take time but we would be better off without him, but i am woried about money. I do work full time so can afford the rent, but as my name is on the house i would be esponsible for half the mortgage still and can not afford both. I asume he would have to pay maintenence for the children while thay ae at school as well i asume.

McKneff · 16 November 2008 at 10:13PM

You can get a free half hour consultation with most solicitors,
A local one would be better for you.
The advice about Womens Aid was good advice,
Like i said, my first post was just gut reaction. I have been and seen.
Good luck

rolo-polo1965 · 16 November 2008 at 10:17PM

anniehanlon wrote: »

You can get a free half hour consultation with most solicitors,
A local one would be better for you.
The advice about Womens Aid was good advice,
Like i said, my first post was just gut reaction. I have been and seen.
Good luck

Thanks for that, i did not know you get 1/2 hour free consultation with a solicitor. I will look into this tomorrow.

Thanks. It is good to know people care when i feel that every thing is going down the pan.

Leaving my husband

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